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Alben W. Barkley

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I completely rewrote this article a few months ago and learned that the jump from Kentucky governors to U.S. vice-presidents is larger than I expected. Nevertheless, after an RFC, some copyediting help from Collect (talk · contribs), and a good article review, I'm looking for a tune-up before I take it to FAC. I look forward to responding to comments as promptly as I can. Thanks. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 03:08, 24 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. Just some copyediting notes. Please return the favor and peer review the article I have listed (Battle of Adwa) right below yours.

  • There are several uses of a hyphen (-) where an en dash (–) should be used:
    • Jefferson-Jackson Day
    • Young-Russell Amendment
    • Taft-Hartley Act
    • Connally-Fulbright Resolution
    • Sheppard-Barkley Act
If my keyboard had an en dash key, these would be easier to get right the first time. Fixed. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 15:26, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

--That's it for now. I will come back later to continue. Remember to also review my article. Thanks ---አቤል ዳዊት (Janweh) (talk) 11:58, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • I look forward to the rest of it. No promises on the battle; military history definitely isn't my forte, and I'm really hoping to make some progress on articles related to John C. Breckinridge while I've got a break from work for the holidays. I'll try to keep a mental note and at least give it a read-through, though. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 15:26, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments by Wehwalt (Part I)
Lede
  • Is it really necessary to start the biography in the first paragraph? Can't you say a few words about what he's known for in the first and then start the bio in the second?
  • Given the concerns expressed about the length of the article, I thought it best to keep the lead to three paragraphs, especially since I don't know exactly what might go in the first paragraph – if not starting the biography – that wouldn't be repeated later in the lead. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm somewhat taken aback by the term "liberal" being used to describe a supporter of Wilson from the Border States, given Wilson's well-known racial views. I will hold my nose and with one hand type "progressive". A quick search of the article says nothing about Barkley and race. I don't think you can get away without some mention in the body, and probably in the lede as well, as to his actions and views on race.
  • It seems like Libbey made some passing mention of race, but I don't remember in what context. It wasn't really tied to his political activity, so I didn't see a good way to tie it in. If changing "liberal" to "progressive" avoids the issue, I can do that, but the literature I consulted calls him a liberal. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "nearly secured the Democratic gubernatorial nomination in 1923" I'm of the opinion that ledes should be tightly written, and this phase can be traded for the word "narrowly" before lost and the date and office can used elsewhere in the sentence. Similarly, the description of Barkley's 1938 campaign is ripe for cutting (the part about wrongdoing seems prime firewood to me). Possibly it can be combined with the Hatch Act sentence, but that seems a little much, too. I just feel that more should be said about Barkley and that these seem tangents. Barkley had a forty-year public career, draw from that perhaps. Can more be said about what he did as Vice President? I know he expressed himself fairly strongly on anti-communism.
  • Agree on the gubernatorial contest, which I have fixed. I also trimmed the bit about the election against Chandler; although tighter, it doesn't now explicitly mention that he was re-elected, but the reader should be able to figure it out. I really do think the Hatch Act bit is significant, and both contemporary and modern sources make it clear that this election was a big deal. As for his anti-Communism stances, the sources I consulted don't say much, if anything. I have full confidence that you are correct; I just don't have anything I can cite. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Early life
  • "Unhappy with his birth name, he adopted "William Alben" as soon as he was old enough to express his opinion in the matter." I would make it clearer as to approximately what age. Judging by the chronology, I don't think you mean age 21.
  • We can't do better than our sources, alas.
  • "Adlai Stevenson". Since you mention the other guy later, you should disambiguate the two somewhere in the article. After all, you don't say when the first one was VP!
  • "In late 1891, the difficult economic times that preceded the Panic of 1893 convinced Barkley's father to sell his farm and move to Clinton, where relatives told him of opportunities to grow wheat on tenant farms." Do difficult economic times convince people? Perhaps a rephrase. I gather that what is meant is due to the low prices for agricultural commodities in the early 1890s, Barkley Sr. couldn't make enough money to pay the mortgage and preferred to become a sharecropper, where there was more security.
  • "Barkley enrolled at a seminary school operated by James M. Shelton.[9] He did not finish high school, but entered Marvin College, a Methodist school in Clinton that accepted adolescents, in 1892." Why "operated by" Perhaps run by is good enough, and is Shelton worth mentioning just for a name? These sentences could be easily combined along the lines "Barkley entered a (Presbyterian?) seminary, but did not complete his studies, instead enrolling at ... " Also, I would substitute "younger students" for adolescents. After all, college students are in many cases adolescents today, and that was probably more so in the 1890s.
  • " (now Emory University) " I would insert "part of" for those who expect to find the school in suburban Atlanta.
  • "afford his basic living expenses" perhaps "meet" rather than "afford".
  • "In Paducah, Barkley worked as a law clerk for Democratic Congressman Charles K. Wheeler," makes Barkley's job sound political when it was not. Perhaps "In Paducah, Barkley worked as a law clerk to Charles K. Wheeler, an attorney and the local congressman."
  • "he hoped that being associated with Wheeler would aid him in his future endeavors, but Wheeler's congressional duties frequently kept him away from the office." Wheeler's absence wouldn't stop Barkley from being "associated" with his office. Or do you mean he hoped for the congressman's personal patronage? And if he was there to read law, obviously he hoped to be tutored by the Great Man. Also, the word "he" or "him" switches subject too many times in this sentence for me to be happy.
  • I think I fixed the he/him/his issue. As for how he hoped to benefit, the source isn't clear. I've changed "associated with" to "acquainted with and tutored by", since you make a good point about association. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Might be worth a mention that (as you know), the Gold Democrats' veep candidate, Simon Bolivar Buckner, was from Ky, so there was support for that position there. Is there any info on how Barkley came to rejoin the mainstream (Bryan) Democrats? A lot of Gold Democrats went Republican, but that may not have been a serious option in Kentucky.
  • Yeah, I thought about the connection, but I'm not sure how to weave it in without going off on a tangent. Actually, the whole Goldbug/Silverite issue was a big deal in Kentucky Democracy. It split the party enough to allow Republicans, for the only time in the state's history, to elect back-to-back governors in 1895 and 1899 (although 1899 was overturned). As for his conversion to being a Bryan Democrat, I suspect it was politically expedient, but I can't cite that. May have also been the Goebel assassination, which somewhat united the divided party. Going Republican definitely wasn't an option. The Jackson Purchase, where Barkley was from, was for many years called the "Democratic Rock of Gibraltar"; Republicans didn't fare well there. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've come to believe "former congressman" is better than "former Congressman" because it's really being used as a descriptor, not as a title.
  • So did I, and no one is as zealous as the convert.
  • "He read law while completing his duties and was admitted to the bar in 1901." Completing his duties? Also, if reading law was the whole point to his getting a job as a clerk to Wheeler in the first place, I'd make it a bit clearer.
  • I didn't really like "completing his duties" either. What I want to convey is that, while working as a clerk for Hendrick and Bishop, he also read law, allowing his admission to the bar in 1901. And while the sources don't explicitly say that reading law was the point of him clerking for Wheeler, the fact that he took a job that offered no payment other than access to Wheeler's law library makes it pretty obvious, doesn't it? Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Early political career
  • A throwaway mention that Paducah is in McCracken County prior to this would make this go smoother.
  • "This was the only time in Barkley challenged an incumbent Democrat." An "ever" before "challenged" might go well. But if Lightfoot was a Democrat (I have the impression that Republicans were not big in Paducah), is it true?
  • The Smedley matter seems overdetailed. Does the account of his trip to the hospital (and return) help the reader understand Barkley? Barkley's role in all of this seems minimal.
  • I thought the details of his hospital trip showed the strength that Republicans ascribed to the Democratic machine in the county. It is connected to Barkley because he did the first investigation, which did not uncover the full amount embezzled by Smedley. Also, the Republicans in the county campaigned almost exclusively on the Smedley matter. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:27, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Yeah, but I'm not sure it's a point you need to illustrate. The savvy reader's already caught on about the state of play in the parties, and I'm not sure that telling them about the hospital trip clues anyone else in.
"corvée system" If people were forced to work on the roads without pay, I would say so. Also, that sentence could use splitting.--Wehwalt (talk) 17:21, 3 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Here's another batch:
US Representative
  • "Prompted by First District Representative Ollie M. James' decision to seek election to the U.S. Senate in 1912, " But surely this was before the 17th Amendment. Why did Jones have to give up his seat?
  • Not sure, but Libbey says James "decided to vacate his district to seek a seat in the United States Senate in 1912". This obituary also says he "ran for" the office, but that his opponent withdrew. In Kentucky: Portrait in Paradox, Klotter mentions a Democratic primary in July. Maybe this is the election he resigned to prepare for. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 18:21, 10 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Very likely. Even before 1913, states were having primaries and advisory elections.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:17, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Woodsmen of the World was motivated by its potential political advantages" I would simply say "Woodsman of the World was politically-motivated" Simply lest people wonder what those potential political advantages are (and if Obama knows) (of course he does).
  • "1916 Sheppard–Barkley Act which banned alcohol sales in Washington, D.C.[48][49] It was passed in 1917" So why is it the "1916" Act? Surely people usually look to year of enactment, Coinage Act of 1965, for example?
  • Could it be made clearer in the second paragraph that we're talking about a prohibitionist faction of the Democratic Party, not the Prohibition Party? I was in doubt until the following paragraph, perhaps that material could be moved up.
  • "Barkley campaigned for Wilson's re-election in 1916, using the slogan "he kept us out of war"." This seems to say that Barkley used it, certainly he would have been far from the only one as that phrase was widely used.
  • The lengthy dashed phrase about the Zimmerman telegram is unpleasing. Can that be massaged out?
  • Something like "By early 1917, Germany had lifted all restrictions on attacks on neutral shipping supplying Britain and France, outraging many Americans. The publication in February of the Zimmermann Telegram, in which ... , also brought the United States closer to war."
  • "Wilson asked Congress for a declaration of war on April 2, 1917, and Barkley voted for the resolution two weeks later." Barkley sounds rather tardy.
  • "Congressman J. Campbell Cantrill, who along with Stanley, led the conservative Bourbon wing of the party" Bourbon links to a description of the Gold Democrats who were rather extinct by 1923. I certainly don't use the term "Bourbon Democrats" in my 1896 articles because it was what their enemies called them. I don't know what to advise you about the 1923 vintage though. Judging by their name, you are saying they favored the repeal of prohibition?
  • (a "Busines Man"), I really think you need a sic here, if the spelling is as intended.
  • "Bingham's campaign forced Barkley to declare his candidacy earlier than planned, but it was not successful outside Louisville". I think the sequence of events a bit easier to follow if you made this its own sentence and switch it and the previous sentence.
  • " in Danville, Kentucky" Kentucky can probably be dropped (really, where else would he go to broaden his appeal in Kentucky but Kentucky?) Possibly you might want to add a brief descriptor to say where in Kentucky Danville is.
  • "based mostly in eastern Kentucky, opposed him" Why? Is it worth saying briefly?
  • Still more (hope to finish tonight)
US Senator
  • "Hoover refused to call a special congressional session to adopt relief measures in early 1931, angering Barkley, but he was injured in an automobile accident in June," Ambiguous as to who was injured, and I don't quite understand the "but". I suspect the reason was that the Democrats were very close to control at least of the House after the 1930 election, they wanted a new session after March 4. During "early" 1931, at least up to March 3, Congress was in session, with a thumping Republican majority elected in 1928. This passage seems a bit dubious.
  • The source actually says "late winter", but I can't adopt that wording, per WP:SEASON. The period in question is likely sometime from mid-March to May, but since the month or months aren't specified, I just tried "early 1931", which apparently didn't work either.
  • "Roosevelt supporters offered Barkley a keynote address and temporary chairmanship of the 1932 Democratic National Convention " At the time, wasn't the temporary chairman also the keynoter? And why the "a" keynote address? Advise a link too.
  • Not sure whether the temporary chairman was also the keynote speaker at that time. Also, I thought the source left the question open of whether there was one keynote or one keynote per day, but I have no problem changing it to "the", since a review of the source doesn't rule that out. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 15:34, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " a Kentucky Senator " lower case on Senator I think.
  • "appointed Barkley as his assistant" Deputy, I would think.
  • "Republican chairman" Republican National Committee chairman (or RNC with a link if you want to save space).
  • "to succeed Robinson" I would add, as Majority Leader.
  • What was Barkley's position on the court-packing plan? I think for completeness, you should say.
  • I don't recall seeing how he felt about it personally in any of the sources. Looking back at Libbey's biography, he stresses that Barkley's anti-Supreme Court comments at the DNC were his own, but that he wasn't consulted prior to Roosevelt's introducing the plan, so it wasn't a direct reference. It seems his efforts on behalf of the plan were mostly about party unity and loyalty to Roosevelt. Barkley's memoirs might say, but I don't have access to them right now. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 22:47, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " publicly non-committal" Hm. Publicly neutral?
  • This article contains "re-election" and similar words both with and without hyphen. Suggest consistency, no preference as to which you adopt.
  • The lede refers to Chandler's challenge being in 1938; the body speaks of it in 1940. Given Barkley was last elected in 1932, the former seems more likely.
  • And 1940 wasn't a midterm election anyway.
  • " Chandler admitted his belief that he was destined to be president and that he saw the Senate as a step in his ascension" I think it is one thing to say that to confidants, and another in public, and which Chandler did should be clarified.
  • Fair enough. The source actually says he was convinced he was destined to be president, but the author doesn't say how he came to that conclusion. Changed to reflect the fact that it is Klotter's opinion. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 22:47, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "so he enlisted allies like Fred Vinson and the Courier-Journal to campaign on his behalf" Does a newspaper campaign? In a way it does, but it goes about it rather differently than Vinson did, so I'm not sure they can be lumped together like that. Also, that sentence contains the word "campaign" or a variant three times. At least one too many, I fear! Similar though less intense problem with "organized labor" a couple of sentences later.
  • "in the spirit of party unity, Roosevelt also made courteous remarks about Chandler.[108] In Bowling Green, he chastised Chandler for "dragging federal judgeships into a political campaign"" I suggest that there is a disconnect between the "courteous remarks" bit and the rather discourteous quote which follows that perhaps could be bridged better.
  • "Barkley supported the bill and helped secure its passage" That rather steals the fire from the statement following that Barclay won the election, since you've just told the reader that Barclay was in the Senate in 1939. Can you shuffle things around to put this after?
  • "and the worst suffered by a primary candidate in Kentucky's history to that time" I'd imagine Kentucky as prone to fringe candidates as the next place, so saying that it is the worst defeat ever by a primary candidate makes me think a little bit of clarification is called for here.
  • Not sure what to do here, since I'm pretty sure that's what the source says. I assume the author was discounting fringe candidates, but I can't definitively say what parameters he had in mind when making the statement. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 22:47, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • You at some point should give the date of the primary election. And when you say that Roosevelt campaigned against conservative incumbents, do you mean in 1938 or 1940? If the first, there's a sequencing issue.
  • Since you seem to be reaching back in time slightly, perhaps "had failed" for the first sentence in "floor leadership"?
  • "Roosevelt told Barkley that some Democratic partisans hoped to nominate him for president at the 1940 Democratic National Convention, but Roosevelt intended to seek a third term, and the German invasion of Poland on September 1, 1939, deepened his resolve" It is less than clear exactly what part of that Roosevelt told Barkley.
  • " during and after the war, he advocated creation of a Jewish homeland in Palestine" Some doubt as to who "he" is.
  • " The power of labor unions had expanded under Roosevelt and the Democrats; consequently, in the 1946 elections, Republicans wrested control of both houses of Congress from the Democrats for the first time since the Great Depression and gained control of the majority of state governments." I don't get the consequentially. You do not show that the power of labor unions led to the Republican victory. Additionally, having the discussion of the Republican tucked between two discussions of unions is awkward.
  • "for an unprecedented third time." Except you mention him making it in 1932, 1936, 1940, and now this one. I'm guessing the 1940 one was not a keynoter since he was the permanent, not the temporary chairman.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:52, 8 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • And concluding:
Veep
  • "When Congress created the National Security Council, they " shouldn't it be "it"?
  • " Illinois Senator Scott W. Lucas " Majority Leader, no?
  • Barkley arrived by bus in Chicago? While I know delegates did, it's odd to have the veep do so.
  • You would have expected what mode of transportation instead? The Libbey biography says he walked from "the station". I'm pretty sure the Davis source says it was a bus station, but I'll have to find that one again to be sure. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 22:47, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can anything be said about Barkley's very self-depracatory, folksy speaking style at some point in the article?
Sorry about the delay in responding but I'm on a research trip which is why I'm doing this at 3 am! Anyway, it looks good. Don't let my quibbles stop you from putting this forward at FAC (he will be the second vice president there, since Andrew Johnson's there). Sources are imperfect and we just have to do the best we can with them.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:17, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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