Wikipedia:Peer review/Andrew Sledd/archive2

Andrew Sledd

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to use it as a template to improve the other other articles regarding the presidents of the University of Florida, and because I would like to upgrade it to Good Article standards.

Thanks, Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 22:30, 29 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I enjoyed reading this and think this is basically very close to Good Article standards, though there are still a few things that need to be worked on. Here are some suggestions for improvement. Also to sorry it took so long review - kind of slipped through the cracks.

Biggest problem is the lead, which is still too short. Per WP:LEAD the lead should be a summary of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but there is nothing on his education or the Sledd Affair or really on his legacy in the lead. I think the lead could be expanded to three paragraphs without too much trouble.

Done Expanded lead without duplicating detailed information provided in subsequent sections. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead image is very nice, but since it is a digital collection, I assume it is also internet accessible. If this is the case, then the URL to the image should be included.

I don't know how to do this. Your help would be greatly appreciated in implementing your suggestion. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see there is an image of Buckman Hall here that could be used in the article. A map might also help for those not as familiar with American geography. Is there any chance for more images? Perhaps one of the buildings at Emory where he worked?

Done Added Buckman Hall photo. None of the Candler/Emory buildings where Sledd worked still exist; all have been subsequently replaced. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

What happened to the campus of the University of Florida at Lake City?

Looking into this, but cannot fund anything in my references. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think I would add a phrase or even a sentence explaining what the Board of Control did / was responsible for.

Done Added explanatory phrase. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Problem paragraph: Following Sledd's resignation, he and his family returned to Atlanta and stayed in the home of his wife's parents. Within several weeks, he received an appointment to be the minister of a Methodist church in Jacksonville, Florida, a position he held for the balance of 1909 until the summer of 1910.
- First off it does not have any references, and needs at least one. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.

{done}} Added citation. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

- Second, it is in a section called "University of the State of Florida" but really has nothing to do with that. The next section, "Southern University" is a two sentence paragraph and section. Usually sections are longer - could the problem paragraph be moved here? Perhaps rename the section "Minister and Southern University"?

Done Merged paragraphs. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It also seems odd that he was at Southern U and the University of the State of Florida each for about four years, but there are two sentences on his time at Southern U and four substantial paragraphs on his time at the University of the State of Florida. See WP:WEIGHT.

Reference problem/challenge: There are plenty of detailed resources regarding Sledd and the founding of the University of Florida, and a couple of near-contemporaneous manuscripts from Emory regarding Sledd's time at Candler. There is virtually nothing to be found regarding his time as president of Southern University. Southern merged with another Methodist college and changed names after Sledd returned to Emory, and I can find nothing about Sledd at Southern other than oblique references in the Florida and Emory materials. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Why did he leave Southern?

Done Added sentence and citation. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There is also relatively little in comparison on his time at Candler.

I am re-reading Candler reference materials to see what else may be added. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Would it be better to call the "Legacy" section "Death and legacy"?

Done Agreed. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would make the Sledd Hall caption clearer that this is on the four year U of FLorida campus, perhaps something like "Passageway through Sledd Hall on the University of Florida campus, named for Andrew Sledd, first president of the university (1905–1909). Built in 1929 as the New Dormitory, it was renamed after Sledd's death in 1939.

Done Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

WP:See also says in part Links already integrated into the body of the text are generally not repeated in a "See also" section...

Done Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC) Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:04, 14 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your comments and suggestions, Ruhrfisch. I think it's a better article for your input. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:02, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]