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Wikipedia:Peer review/Angel Locsin/archive1

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I reworked and expanded this article early this year. Aiming to nominate the main article at FAC in the future. Fresh sets of eyes would be most welcome to help improve it's current form. Happy to address constructive comments. Thanks! --Pseud 14 (talk) 20:10, 3 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by FrB.TG

[edit]

Instead of suggesting prose problems that required some rephrasing, I went ahead and copy-edited them myself. Please check these carefully and let me know if I instead introduced grammatical errors or accidentally changed the meaning of something. Other than those, I have the following concern.

  • "She [Tomada] also credited Locsin for the "emergence of the Filipina action figure that departs from the sexy stereotype"." Tomada did not credit Locsin for this per source. This is what the source says, "Angel said of the “emergence” of the Filipina action figure that departs from the sexy stereotype.". There's also a problem with WP:QWQ here (it should be "'emergence' of..."). FrB.TG (talk) 11:47, 10 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Highly appreciate the copyedits and your thorough look at the article FrB.TG! Really value your inputs on FA prose/MoS standards for BLPs. I regularly refer to your work when drafting mine tbh. Thank you for the spot-checks as well, and for pointing out the above, I must have missed this or read it wrong. I have since rephrased/tweaked it. Let me know if you think this reads well. --Pseud 14 (talk) 15:55, 10 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]