Wikipedia:Peer review/Arctodus/archive1
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Hi! This article has substantially changed in the last 6 months, so I was looking to gather feedback on how the article is going, and how accessible it is. Any review would be appreciated. Cheers, SuperTah (talk) 06:14, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
As a drive-by comment, you need to massively reduce the number of duplicated links on the article. Arctotherium, for instance, should only be linked to once, not at every mention of one of its species. The general prose also needs revision for clarity. --SilverTiger12 (talk) 13:48, 15 September 2022 (UTC)
- WP:DUPLINK explains it, and has a link to a script that will highlight duplicated links for easier correction. SilverTiger12 (talk) 14:18, 15 September 2022 (UTC)
- @SilverTiger12 Cheers! Although I find many links in articles very useful, I agree that in this article it's probably overbearing. I'll start snipping away. Are there any particular areas which need revision for clarity? SuperTah (talk) 01:24, 19 September 2022 (UTC)
- I can't really point out a given part that needs revision, but I'd suggest going through and reading it out loud to yourself. That can help catch where sentences are clunky. SilverTiger12 (talk) 16:40, 24 September 2022 (UTC)
Comments by Z1720
[edit]Comments after a quick skim:
- "leading to the diversification of the genus, including the colossal Arctotherium angustidens." Needs a citation
- "Typically thought of as an open habitat specialist, Arctodus seems to have also been abundant in mixed habitat where C3 vegetation was available. Based on the wide distribution of the species, Arctodus simus inhabited diverse climatic conditions and all sorts of environments, ranging from boreal forests and mammoth steppe in the north, open plains and highland woodlands in the interior, subtropical woodlands and savannas in the south, to the pine–oak forests of the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt, the boundary of the Nearctic realm.[13][18][84][60][85][86]" Is this many citations needed? Perhaps move some of them earlier in the paragraph or WP:CITEBUNDLE
- "One theory behind the extinction of Arctodus simus is that A. simus may have been out-competed by brown bears as the latter expanded southwards from eastern Beringia, and gradually established itself in North America." Needs a citation
- "Brown bears and Arctodus have been discovered together in Alaska (then Beringia) before ∼34,000 BP, and in later Pleistocene deposits in Vancouver Island, Wyoming and Nevada." Needs a citation
- Wow, that map is huge. I would consult with an editor more familiar with writing biology articles to see if that map is needed or can be reduced.
- "and Utah. The Intermontane Plateau extended deep into Mexico, where it demarked the southernmost habitat of Arctodus simus." Needs a citation
- "Additional Irvingtonian remains have been recovered from Arkalon in Kansas, Hay Springs in Nebraska, and Rock Creek in Texas." Needs a citation
- "Additional remains have been found at Island Ford Cave in Virginia, and Frankstown in Pennsylvania." Needs a citiation
- "A mastodon humerus from the Snowmastodon site in Colorado bears tooth marks also suggested to be from Arctodus" Needs a citation
- "These behaviors may be applicable to the giant short-faced bears Arctotherium and Arctodus." Needs a citation
- " However, this has been discredited by modern research- evidence continues to maintain a prolonged co-existence of humans and Arctodus across North America." Needs a citatin
- "Calico, Hartley Mammoth Site, Pendejo Cave and White Sands suggest that humans co-existed with Arctodus for many thousands, if not tens of thousands of years. This extensive overlap with Arctodus across North America puts significant doubt to the migration barrier hypothesis." Needs a citation
- "Below is a table collating radiocarbon dates directly sampled from Arctodus simus specimens (not including dates from associated remains nor stratigraphy).[16][31][38][43][65][78][169][188][204][205][206][207][208][209]" Can these citations be placed in the table instead of here?
- I don't think "GeorgiaBeforePeople" is a reliable source and should probably be removed.
Overall, this article looks like it is in great shape, but might be too long. I think with some fixing up and some trims it could be nominated for WP:GAN and possibly WP:FAC. I hope these comments help. Z1720 (talk) 00:38, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
@SuperTah: to ensure that they saw these comments. Z1720 (talk) 18:00, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
- SuperTah's last edit was early October, and they did not respond to the above ping, so I am going to close this PR. A new PR can be opened when the above are considered for the article. Z1720 (talk) 23:04, 2 November 2022 (UTC)