Wikipedia:Peer review/Awake (TV series)/archive3
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i am interested in ways to improve to article for FA.
Thanks, TBrandley 06:21, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
- M.Mario
- "Jeffrey Reiner and Howard Gordon, then continued with Killen, under his Teakwood Lane Productions label. It was largely filmed in Los Angeles, California. "The series is set in Los Angeles, California, and centers on Michael Britten (Jason Isaacs)..."
- Youve mentioned this twice, all though it is not displaying the same info, is hard to read. Maybe;
" Filmed and set in Los Angeles, California...." — M.Mario (T/C) 19:20, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Done
- TRLIJC19
- Lead
- This sentence: "The show's premise originated with Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, was primarily responsible for the conception of the series." is improper English. It should read: "The show's premise originated with Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, and is primarily responsible for the conception of the series."
- ✗ Not done. Please re-read sentence.
- It's wrong. It would work, if "the show's premise originated with" was gone, because you're saying The show's premise originated with Killen, [...] was primarily responsible.. I recommend removing "the show's premise originated with", because it is a repetition of primarily responsible for conception. Just write: "Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, was primarily responsible for the conception of the series." TRLIJC19 (talk) 01:19, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- Done
- It's wrong. It would work, if "the show's premise originated with" was gone, because you're saying The show's premise originated with Killen, [...] was primarily responsible.. I recommend removing "the show's premise originated with", because it is a repetition of primarily responsible for conception. Just write: "Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, was primarily responsible for the conception of the series." TRLIJC19 (talk) 01:19, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- ✗ Not done. Please re-read sentence.
- This sentence: "Critically acclaimed for the most of its run, Awake was praised for its casting performance, particularly Jason Isaacs's performance as Michael Britten from television critics." should only use last names, because you've already said the full names above.
- Done
- This sentence: "The show's premise originated with Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, was primarily responsible for the conception of the series." is improper English. It should read: "The show's premise originated with Kyle Killen, who is credited as creator, and is primarily responsible for the conception of the series."
- Infobox
- Erase "pilot" after David Spade, because infoboxes shouldn't give notes.
- Done
- Erase 'SDTV' after 480i, because Template:Infobox television specifies that it shouldn't be used.
- Done
- Erase "pilot" after David Spade, because infoboxes shouldn't give notes.
- Conception
- You use {{cquote}}, but should use {{quote}} instead, because per the documentation at cquote, that template should only be used for pull quotes.
- Done
- You use {{cquote}}, but should use {{quote}} instead, because per the documentation at cquote, that template should only be used for pull quotes.
- Development
- Merge this into 'conception' because the tiny sections detract from readability.
- Done
- Merge this into 'conception' because the tiny sections detract from readability.
- Main characters
- In this sentence: "Rex David Britten[30] is Micheal's son, who is featured in Michael's "green reality". He is a teenage school student.", Michael is spelled wrong in the beginning.
- Done
- In this sentence: "Rex David Britten[30] is Micheal's son, who is featured in Michael's "green reality". He is a teenage school student.", Michael is spelled wrong in the beginning.
It's a well written article. Hope this helps, TRLIJC19 (talk) 01:03, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the peer review. If that is it, do you think it is now ready for FA. I think I'll still get a copy-edit. TBrandley 03:36, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- I recommend a copyedit. That is what I am doing for Grey's Anatomy, but I cannot seem to find a copyeditor. Also, do you have any comments/suggestions for Grey's Anatomy? TRLIJC19 (talk) 03:38, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- It is already at GOCE. I will add suggestions at Talk:Grey's Anatomy#FA Suggestions. Thanks, TBrandley 03:44, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- I recommend a copyedit. That is what I am doing for Grey's Anatomy, but I cannot seem to find a copyeditor. Also, do you have any comments/suggestions for Grey's Anatomy? TRLIJC19 (talk) 03:38, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
- Conception
- I do not think the {{see also}} template to the pilot episode is necessary, as the section discusses conception of the series, not the episode. TRLIJC19 (talk) 06:42, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
- Done
- I do not think the {{see also}} template to the pilot episode is necessary, as the section discusses conception of the series, not the episode. TRLIJC19 (talk) 06:42, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
- Reception
- Per MOS:NUMBERSIGN, unless in a table, '#' should not be used. I see two occurrences of the usage of '#' under reception. '#' should be changed to 'No.' TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:52, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
- Done
- Per MOS:NUMBERSIGN, unless in a table, '#' should not be used. I see two occurrences of the usage of '#' under reception. '#' should be changed to 'No.' TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:52, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
- Sofffie7
- My only suggestion would be to place the content of the Setting somewhere else in the article or to move the section in another main one so that it becomes a subsection. To me, a main section with 2 sentences only is 'useless'. --Sofffie7 (talk) 21:45, 11 July 2012 (UTC)
- Done
- Thanks. TBrandley 22:08, 11 July 2012 (UTC)
- Khanassassin
- The article's looking good, just don't know what N/A in the "Accolades" section? -Should it be pending? -I doubt the award was un-given, but whatever... But, yes, the article's lookin' good. :) -Will add if I spot more issues. --Khanassassin ☪ 11:57, 13 July 2012 (UTC)