Wikipedia:Peer review/Basshunter/archive2

Basshunter

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I have listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate this article for Good Article status. Eurohunter (talk) 18:05, 2 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Tom (LT)

Addressed comments

@Eurohunter thanks for your contributions to that article - looks really good. I think it's close to GA status already and you could propose it for WP:GA while you're making small edits. I think the content is well sourced and encyclopedic. Two small comments would be I don't think the photo of Avicii is needed on this article, and sometimes the content is a little bit too detailed for an encyclopedia e.g. the list of games that Basshunter has played. Sometimes I think the tone needs also to be made more encyclopedic e.g. "He did not enjoy life as a married man, and numbed his emotions with work and alcohol" should be something like "He has stated he did not enjoy being married and described the need to "numb my emotions" with work and alcohol". I'm sure others might have better suggestions but hopefully you get my point. Overall though a well written article :). Good luck at GA! Tom (LT) (talk) 03:36, 7 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tom (LT): Thanks for your review. I also thought the list of games was a little too long so I have limited it to six titles and moved Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne and League of Legends to articles about singles directly connected to them such as "Vi sitter i Ventrilo och spelar DotA" and "Masterpiece". I added photo of Avicii as ilustration of text. There is also similar photo in Avicii article or featured articles such as Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga or Madonna. I added "He has stated he did not enjoy life as a married man and described the need to numb his emotions with work and alcohol.". Eurohunter (talk) 09:11, 7 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

NØ

1. "who is better known by his stage name" -- Remove "who is"

Done I think "who is" was added while article was in GOCE but I have removed it now. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2. The "DJ" acronym doesn't need to be included in the lead as it is not used again.

Comment: Originally there was just "DJ" but "disc jockey" was added in GOCE. Personally I would stay with "DJ" because it's the common name and would consider move disc jockey to DJ. Who in every day use say "disc jockey"? I think "DJ" totally dominated "disc jockey" name. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Someone deleted the full name "disc jockey" and just left "DJ". Eurohunter (talk) 10:53, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

3. Which award did he win at the World Music Awards? If you're going to write the names of award ceremonies in singular form, it should be preceded by "a", not "the"

Comment: I have noticed that there were some discrepancies. "World Music Award" is not mentioned later in the article - just in a list so I have changed it for Musikförläggarnas pris and Grammi award was actually named Telia which was awarded in 2007 not 2006. Fixed version: "Basshunter has won awards such as a European Border Breakers Award (2008), a Musikförläggarnas pris in category Newcomer of the Year (2006) and a Telia award for Best Ringtone of the Year (2007). He was also nominated for a BT Digital Music Award, a MTV Europe Music Award, and a Rockbjörnen among others." - is that correct? Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4. "According to Balloon Records, more than eight million Basshunter records have been sold" - Go for active voice here and wherever else possible.

- Comment: Honestly I do not know what it means? Do you mean it's not reliable? Even if there is note about 3 million copies from Swedish media? I could eventually replace it and remove Balloon Records figures. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  - Comment: @MaranoFan: I need your opinion. Eurohunter (talk) 10:15, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    - I've fixed the voice. Is Balloon Records his label? In that case it is a primary source and would not be considered reliable for sales figures.--N Ø 10:25, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
      - Comment: @MaranoFan: He is not owner of this label but they released his singles and album. Without any connection they would not publish such data because they would have no access to such data and there would be no point for any label to do that. Eurohunter (talk) 10:51, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
        I would not pass a GAN with that in it, personally. It's up to you and the reviewer at the end of the day. Best.--N Ø 10:57, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
        Comment: @MaranoFan: What do you think to reverse the order by adding independent Svenska Dagbladet figures and add Balloon Records figures as note? Eurohunter (talk) 11:55, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
        If a source is unreliable it really shouldn't be used at all. Svenska Dagbladet looks reliable to me though so that is perfectly fine. I am afraid I can't be of any more help, though, so try to avoid tagging me.--N Ø
        Done @MaranoFan: Thanks. I have replaced it with Svenska Dagbladet figures. I have yet 2 issues above to solve. Would you help? Eurohunter (talk) 12:10, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

5. "and lived with his father Karl Göran Altberg and his mother Gunhild Elisabet Altberg,[4] and younger brother, Joakim" - No need for the "and" before "his mother"

- Done Removed. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

6. The full form of "DJ" should be introduced in its first usage in the Beginnings section, not LOL.

- Done Fixed. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

7. Altberg can just be referred to by his last name in the Beginnings section.

- Done I think "Jonas" was added in GOCE but I have removed it. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

8. "was chosen in online poll" --> "was chosen in an online poll", "live for first time" --> "live for the first time"

Done Added in both cases. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I can see that a lot of hard work has been put into the article so great job! However, a pattern I identified is missing articles (e.g. "a", "an", "the") every few sentences. I think it would be beneficial to go for a GOCE copy-edit before nominating for GA. Wishing you good luck with the nom!--N Ø 18:06, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review. I know there may be a lot of problem with "a", "an", "the" etc. so it was in GOCE just before I nominated it to Peer review. Unfortunately as non-native speaker I can't fix it myself. Eurohunter (talk) 19:20, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sarasalant

Greetings, here are a few comments regarding Basshunter's article.

1. In the infobox, per template's documentation, omit words like "Music" present in Basshunter's list of signed record labels (pipe out).

Comment: If the commmon name is exactly "Extensive Music" it would be WP:OR for me if we would cut it to "Extensive". I mean if we have Warner Music Group - WMG is an abbreviation but "Warner Music" is new name. I think it's some older documentation and it could be more widely discussed. Eurohunter (talk) 18:21, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @Sarasalant: Template talk:Infobox musical artist#Label name. Eurohunter (talk) 10:24, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2. In the lede, change "also styled BassHunter" → "also stylized as BassHunter".

Done Changed. Eurohunter (talk) 18:21, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

3. There are some red wikilinks. Personally, I'd just remove the links and retain the text.

Done There was one red link. Removed Eurohunter (talk) 18:21, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4. In the discography section, I suggest removing "Studio albums" since simple discography sections won't list other works than studio albums; it seems redundant (per Wikipedia:WikiProject_Musicians/Article_guidelines#Discography_section).

Done Removed Eurohunter (talk) 18:21, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

– SARASALANT (talk | contributions) 14:58, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Sarasalant: Thanks for your review. Eurohunter (talk) 18:21, 9 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Styyx

Placeholder comment. I've archived a few sources. Bite me if I don't leave comments in a few days. ~Styyx^Talk? 20:13, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- @Styyx: Thanks for add archived links. I have noticed video from reference 217 is actually not archived and looks like it is impossible to archive references 190, 192 and 193 (there is no button to show frame to isolate content so I don't know how to save it properly). Eurohunter (talk) 20:50, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I haven't had the time to check the full article.

1. There is a comment above suggesting to remove red links. Per WP:REDYES, you can keep a red link if the subject is notable (I haven't checked what the red link was). This isn't a part of the GA criteria, so you don't necessarily have to act on it.

Done Just one red link. Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2. "Jonas Erik Altberg was born in Halmstad on 22 December 1984, the son of Gunhild Elisabet (died 2016)" — I think you need to add "as" before "the" so it becomes "as the son of…"

Done Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

3. "He attended Kattegattgymnasiet secondary school" — Kattegattgymnasiet doesn't have an article on enwiki (it's a redirect, though), and this links to svwiki. This isn't a problem, but people may be surprised if they click a link on enwiki and end up seeing a Swedish article. You might want to use {{ill|Kattegattgymnasiet|sv}} instead.

Done I kinda don't like the template because it automatically adds link to redirect if exist. Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4. Same with Sturegymnasiet, "Boten Anna" bootleg, and "Sinterklaas boot (Boten Anna)".

Done Added in references too. Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

5. "Alex Music released Basshunter's first studio album The Bassmachine on 25 August 2004" — Comma before and after The Bassmachine.

Done I'm not sure but added. Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

6. The first subsection includes the release of a song in April 2006. The next subsection goes back in time to March.

Comment: Yes because in March he just published "Boten Anna", in April he released "Welcome to Rainbow" and in May "Boten Anna" was released. Eurohunter (talk) 17:27, 24 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @Styyx: I need your opinion. Eurohunter (talk) 10:17, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

7. The release of "Boten Anna" as a single is mentioned twice in close succession.

Done Merged. Eurohunter (talk) 17:27, 24 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

8. "The second single from LOL "Vi sitter i Ventrilo och spelar DotA" was released on 13 September of the same year" — Comma before and after "Vi sitter i Ventrilo och spelar DotA".

Done Eurohunter (talk) 20:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

~Styyx^Talk? 16:32, 22 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- @Styyx: Thanks for your review. Eurohunter (talk) 18:50, 24 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The Midnite Wolf

Thanks for reviewing the article I posted! As promised:

1. Unless it's the thing he's most known for, remove "He began producing music at the age of 17." from the opening paragraph

Done @The Midnite Wolf: Removed Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2. "and the song was covered over 200 times" what song?

Comment: Good point. It wasn't exactly song but a track. Track from that tutorial was covered 200 times. Do you have idea how to describe it? Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Eurohunter: "He recorded a YouTube video, entitled Basshunter Tutorial, showing his recording process in Fruity Loops. The track from the video was covered over 200 times." The Midnite Wolf (talk) 20:57, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

3. "reached number 13 on the Best of All Time list" which "Best of All Time list"?

Done Swedish. Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4. Specify that "Jingle Bells" is a cover of the christmas carol when it's first mentioned

Done "(...) a remake of christmas song (...)" Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

5. "Initially, Basshunter tried several times to translate "Boten Anna" into English but it was impossible to translate" why?

Done Changed to "but it turned out to be very hard to keep the "hock" and the story". Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

6. "He like to write lyrics that mean something, and combine them with the feeling in a song, so that [the] audience can familiarize themselves with what someone sings" according to whom? this whole sentence seems kind of vague

Comment: It's just to show "idea"/"type" of "someone sings". Maybe there should be "identify" instead of "familiarize"? Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"He says he likes to write meaningful lyrics that audiences can identify with." Something like that The Midnite Wolf (talk) 21:02, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

7. add independent sources and not just self-descriptions to the first paragraph of "Musical Style"

Comment: It's he about his music. I could find some opinions about Basshunter music generally taken from reviews because authors of reviews sometimes describe his music before they start reviewing certain song or concert but it's often ratcher pejorative - jokes. Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Are there any reviews or bios of him that describe his musical style? The Midnite Wolf (talk) 21:04, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: If I remember correctly there may be something. I would need to check few hundrets articles again. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

8. "About 95% of his music is created with digital audio workstations" this a little confusing. is he creating the other 5% on analog tape?

Comment: The other 5% are instruments like piano but it's unknown - there is no source which would said that he recorded certain melody on piano or guitar. Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Change it to something like: "Around 95% of his music is created electronically, with the rest being recorded on instruments such as piano."

Comment: It's hard to say. He could just record sounds of object or room and sample it so we don't know what are those 5%. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @The Midnite Wolf: I need your answer. Eurohunter (talk) 17:04, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry. I'd probably just replace with "About 95% of his music is created electronically." The Midnite Wolf (talk) 19:58, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @The Midnite Wolf: I don't know. Digital audio workstation is a thing. Eurohunter (talk) 20:10, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'm aware, but if he records a song on a piano or a guitar then he's probably still using a digital audio workstation to record it The Midnite Wolf (talk) 20:14, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @The Midnite Wolf: Even if you use 100% of instruments you have to record them by microphones then you need to mix them and it can be done in digital audio workstation. Music bands and orchestras can use digital audio workstation too. Eurohunter (talk) 20:19, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Yes that's what I'm saying lol. That's why I was confused about the initial claim The Midnite Wolf (talk) 20:30, 4 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: @The Midnite Wolf: I have checked the source and the "software" word was used so in this context he uses instruments from digital audio workstation than physical instruments. You can also use 80% of digital audio workstation instruments, 10% of physical instruments and 10% of recorded sound such as door opening and use it as sample or mix it into sound. I changed it to "Around 95% of his music is created with software,[128] including digital audio workstations such as FL Studio" (...). Eurohunter (talk) 15:07, 5 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

9. "Basshunter tried to present his live performances as improvisations" did he stop trying to do that? if so, explain and if not, use present tense digital audio workstation

Done Changed to "Basshunter tries to plan the shows but ąctually presents his live performances as improvisations". Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

10. "Series of music videos with Aylar Lie received media attention." "A series...", "the series...", "his series...", etc.

Done Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

11. "After achieving commercial success, he could not publish songs as free downloads" expand. would his label not let him or was it something else?

Comment: It's not explained in the source but there is other source which says that he planned to release a continuation of LOL album called ROFL or KTHXBYE for free but he couldn't do it due to the record label. Do you have idea how to connect these both contexts? Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Just repeat what you said here. "He initially planned to release a continuation of LOL titled either ROFL or KTHXBYE for free but was unable to after signing with a record label."

Done Added. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

12. "He also has sensitive side" remove or clarify

Comment: I thought "sensitive side" can be definied. It mean he is also "sensitive person", sensitivity is one of the personality traits. How I can describe it? Eurohunter (talk) 20:09, 30 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Something like: He has Tourette syndrome and has described himself as a spontaneous person, though he has also said he has a "sensitive side."

Done Added. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The Midnite Wolf (talk) 06:33, 29 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@The Midnite Wolf: Thanks for your review. Eurohunter (talk) 10:12, 1 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]