Wikipedia:Peer review/Beyond Good & Evil 2/archive1

Beyond Good & Evil 2

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review with the intention of promoting it to Good Article status. Any critical commentary about the article is appreciated.

Thanks, MrStalker ^(talk) 13:15, 31 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okey, thanks for all your input. I've revised the article trying to address everything you've pointed out. Please take a look at it again and check if there's anything else. Thanks. --MrStalker ^(talk) 22:49, 10 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy

"is the long-awaited and much-rumored sequel" - NPOV issues
Magazines like Nintendo Power (check everywhere) need italics; MOS:ITALICS

Giggy (talk) 00:46, 1 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ashnard

"Beyond Good & Evil 2 (working title) is the sequel to the critically acclaimed 2003 video game Beyond Good & Evil". Echoing Giggy's concerns. Its predcessor's critical acclaim should have no bearing in the lead, and especially not in this context.
"It is designed by". Grammar: "it was designed by" or "it is being being designed by". Same with "is published". Make sure the amendments are still compatible with the tense of the "developed" part.
"It was first unveiled". Doubt that something can be unveiled more than once in an industry covered heavily by the press. Redundant.
"Michel Ancel had stated that he wrote the story to be longer, but because of the poor sales of the original game, Ubisoft was reluctant to invest in a sequel." Probably best to change "had" to "has" here. As I interpret the sentence's meaning, you should clarify that the "story" is the extended one covering a trilogy, and not that of the original game.
"Michel Ancel first gave a hint about Beyond Good & Evil 2 in an interview with Nintendo Power, where he confirmed that he was working on a new project that means a lot to him." Will need a source. However, if the source does not itself interpret this as a reference to BGaE, then it will have to be discredited as original research.
"Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot also confirmed that Michel Ancel is currently working on several unannounced projects, as of March 2008". Such sentences don't have value as they could only possibly be of use in a speculative nature towards an unconfirmed game. As it has been confirmed, it is superfluous. Same for the proceeding sentence. I'd question having "Pre-announcement" as its own heading.
"where he stated that the game has been in pre-production for a year, but is yet to be approved by Ubisoft" The tenses are shifting again. Fix other examples, ie. "it is confirmed".
"recorded entirely in-engine". Link or explain jargon please.
"the game was presented only as the next project of Michel Ancel and Ubisoft Montpellier, no specific details, release date or title was announced." Comma splice after "Montpellier".
"The trailer depicts a hovercraft, resting off to the side of a road going through a desert. The trailer also showed Pey'j, a character from the prequel, as well as a woman in the background." It would be best to present the information in the context of what is known, as opposed to merely stating observations from a short trailer.
Having a link to a single trailer does not qualify as an appropriate external link.
The lead should be expanded to include useful info, including anything that can be gleaned about plot and gameplay.

Okay, this article has started off nicely, with decent sources. Just make sure that quality can be maintained as more info becomes available. Cheers. Ashnard _Talk ^Contribs 19:00, 1 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]