Wikipedia:Peer review/Bob Cousy Award/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this is going to be a part of a featured topic and I would like some feedback on the writing.
Thanks, —Chris! ct 06:15, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs) "6-time"-->six-time
- "a list of players are nominated " "are"-->is
- "16 players from each divisions"-->16 players from each division
- I think it would be good background info if you mentioned how many times the Celtics won in the time period that Cousy was with the team.
- "The North Carolina Tar Heels men's basketball team have had the " "have"-->has
- "The most recent winner is Ty Lawson from University of North Carolina." Needs "the" after "from". Dabomb87 (talk) 01:07, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Giants2008 comments - My apologies for the delay; it's been a long day for me here. Only a couple of things that stuck out to me, since Dabomb has given this a good review already. To beef up the third paragraph, a sentence on the first winner could be added, like most recently featured lists on sports awards. Also, I think "men's basketball team" can safely be dropped from the Tar Heels, since the first sentence of the lead makes clear that the award is for male players. Giants2008 (17-14) 02:59, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
- Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
- I think we're supposed to avoid bold links in the opening sentence? And is that really the full name of the trophy? If so, perhaps the list needs a rename?
- Probably should state it's a basketball award in the opening sentence.
- Lead image could be bigger, if memory serves you can go up to 300px according to the MOS.
- Three paras in the lead is too much for a list this long - two max.
- Link Hall of Famer to the appropriate hall..
- "The North Carolina Tar Heels men's basketball team has had the most winners, with two. " feels a bit forced, like trivia for trivia's sake. I would trim it down and leave it to the list in this case.
The Rambling Man (talk) 19:56, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
- Done all. Thanks. To TRM: All my award lists (eg. NBA Coach of the Year Award) bold the title, so I am not sure. As for renaming, I thought we use common name. And the common name is Bob Cousy Award.—Chris! ct 22:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
- For the bolded link, I think we can ignore the rules here. Alternatively, you can put The Hartford in a See also section. Dabomb87 (talk) 22:40, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
- Done - added to See also section—Chris! ct 23:07, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
- For the bolded link, I think we can ignore the rules here. Alternatively, you can put The Hartford in a See also section. Dabomb87 (talk) 22:40, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
- Done all. Thanks. To TRM: All my award lists (eg. NBA Coach of the Year Award) bold the title, so I am not sure. As for renaming, I thought we use common name. And the common name is Bob Cousy Award.—Chris! ct 22:11, 11 May 2009 (UTC)