Wikipedia:Peer review/Cher/archive3
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Cher is a singer-actress who first rose to proeminence in 1965 as one-half of the husband–wife duo Sonny & Cher, as their song "I Got You Babe" topped the Billboard Hot 100 and the UK Singles Chart. She was able to stay in the public eye since then by adopting a variety of styles and appearances during her five-decade-long career. Biographer Mark Bego wrote, "No one in the history of show business has had a career of the magnitude and scope of Cher's. She has been a teenage pop star, a television hostess, a fashion magazine model, a rock star, a pop singer, a Broadway actress, an Academy Award-winning movie star, a disco sensation, and the subject of a mountain of press coverage."
I've been working hard on this article since 2012, firstly because I am deeply interested in Cher's career and its overall impact on today's female pop artists, and secondly because editing the article helps me improve my English (it's not my first language, as you probably can see). I'm not that good with prose, but I have a lot of patience and a tremendous desire to learn. Thanks, Lordelliott (talk) 22:24, 22 November 2015 (UTC)
Comments from SNUGGUMS Part 1
[edit]Addressed comments. Starting over fresh given restructure.
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I will start by reviewing the lead. This article should be an overall interesting read. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:50, 30 November 2015 (UTC)
I'll be back with more later. Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:07, 30 November 2015 (UTC)
Continuing.....
More will follow after these are addressed. Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:45, 18 December 2015 (UTC)
Let's get these out of the way before any further input Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:23, 19 December 2015 (UTC)
This is a rather long section and I don't have time to review it in full yet. Probably gonna do this and the rest of these bit by bit. Snuggums (talk / edits) 00:07, 24 December 2015 (UTC)
I haven't looked through the entire article in detail, but can definitely say that this has a long way to go before it can become FA or even GA (I see this previously had two unsuccessful FAC's after a failed GAN). The close paraphrasing issue alone is rather worrisome, and the 1960s-1990s subsections of "life and career" are uncomfortably long to read when only split by decades. There also are bare URL's, incorrect uses of italics in references (i.e. ABC News, E!, History shouldn't be italicized), subpar sources (i.e. Discogs, Huffington Post) and HARVref errors (use an error-detecting script to find them). Be sure to also check for dead URL's. Best of luck, Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:27, 28 December 2015 (UTC)
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Comments from SNUGGUMS Part 2
[edit]Will begin between January 25th and 29th..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 01:38, 20 January 2016 (UTC)
I'll resume this with an image review:
- File:Cher - Casablanca.jpg is properly licensed, though I'd try to get a more specific time frame for when it was taken than "c. 1970s"
- I know from this fan-made gallery that the picture was taken in 1979, but of course it can't be used as source. The image's description on Commons doesn't reveal the year, but the original cut have the Casablanca Records logo, which indicates that the pic was taken between 1979 and 1981 (the years Cher was signed to the label, according to the article). What would you suggest? Lordelliott (talk) 19:24, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- See what else supports the pic being from 1979 Snuggums (talk / edits) 21:18, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- The search took me hours and yet I couldn't find a single reliable source. The March 20, 1979 edition of US Weekly for which the picture was taken is now a rare item, and the publication does not have an online covers archive. Nothing on Harry Langdon's official website, too. I think we can call it quits :/. Lordelliott (talk) 01:45, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Yeah I'd call it quits :/. Us Weekly isn't even a good source to begin with. Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:21, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:Cher HS Yearbook.jpg is also properly licensed, though I think a better caption would be "Cher as a high school student in 1960"
- I'm not sure if File:Sonny-and-Cher.jpg can be claimed as free use since it's originating source says "some rights reserved" and it's not entirely clear if uploader Peter Denton truly owns even the Flickr upload.
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:SonnyCher1966.jpg is properly licensed
- Is File:Sonny and Cher David McCallum Man From Uncle 1967 Cropped.JPG really needed?
- In my opinion, yes, because it gives a better view on one of her most famous looks. She's spotting the same look in File:SonnyCher1966.jpg, but we can't see the detail of her eye makeup, which was a trademark look for her during that time. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:Cher a Sanremo.jpg doesn't really have the best lighting
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:Farrah Fawcett Cher 1976.JPG is properly licensed
- File:Sonny and Cher 1971.JPG seems redundant when a previous pic of Cher with Sonny is already included
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:David Bowie and Cher 1975.JPG and File:Cher and Greg Allman - 1975.jpg are both properly licensed
- I will assume good faith with the ownership claim of File:Cher live 1981.jpg
- I don't really see the benefit of File:RickyCher1985.jpg
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- Try to zoom in on File:Cher-Wax-338354947.jpg so the figure can be seen more easily; we don't need so much background
- File:Pediatric AIDS Foundation - Washington, D.C. - seen on Wednesday, June 21, 1989.jpg is properly licensed, though I think you could elaborate on its caption given how it talks about an AIDS foundation she was attending
- Done "Cher performing during a benefit concert for Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation in 1989". Sounds good? Lordelliott (talk) 20:55, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- Definitely better Snuggums (talk / edits) 21:18, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- What benefit does File:Cher singing.jpg provide?
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:Sonny&Cher-Hollywood-2507940152 (rotated).jpg is properly licensed
- File:WKTU-FM's Miracle on 34th Street show - New York - seen on December 11, 1998 Cropped.jpg has subpar lighting
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 19:39, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
More to come later for the other images as well as audio samples. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:26, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- I will assume good faith with the ownership claim of File:Cher at Farewell Tour.JPG
- Try to zoom in on File:Cher Dressed to Kill D2K.jpg so Cher herself is more easily seen; again, no need for so much background
- File:Cher - All I Really Want To Do.ogg is 31 seconds long. Audio samples should never exceed 30 seconds or whatever 10% of a song's length is per WP:Manual of Style/Music samples (WP:SAMPLE). iTunes says her rendition of the song is 2:56 (176 seconds long), which means that the longest a sample for it can be is 17 seconds. "Hit" in "her first major solo hit" is also too informal, so let's just use the song's title in place of that.
- File:Believe - Cher.ogg is also too long at 35 seconds long. Per WP:SAMPLE, it can't exceed 23 seconds since the song is 3:58 (238 seconds long).
- How exactly is File:Cher Believe D2K.jpg beneficial?
- I'm not sure if this can be appropriately uploaded and implemented into an article, but using "external images" isn't a good way to include it either way
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 15:42, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:21 - Cher-002 (17107158346).jpg is properly licensed
- While File:Cher at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center 2006.jpg is properly licensed, I feel the amfAR photo is better to use in place since the section this pic is used in actually discusses amfAR and not the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center
- Done Replaced. Lordelliott (talk) 15:42, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- File:Nancy Reagan with Cher.jpg doesn't give a very clear view of Cher's face, and it would probably be better to have a pic of her with one of the politicians mentioned in article body and/or a discussed political event she attended
- Unfortunately we don't have images of Cher on Commons that meet this criteria. So, should File:Nancy Reagan with Cher.jpg be removed? Lordelliott (talk) 15:42, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- I would say yes; remove it Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:38, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Done Put File:Cher at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center 2006.jpg in its place, as her position on the Iraq War is discussed within the Politics subsection, and elaborated the caption: "Cher during her July 12, 2006 visit at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, which treats injured U.S. military personnel serving in Afghanistan and Iraq". Lordelliott (talk) 18:09, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Not sure what benefit File:Cher D2K Tour.jpg provides
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 15:42, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
That's all for the media use. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:38, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- I made a little rearragement of some of the images:
- File:Cher Believe D2K.jpg now illustrates 2013–present: Return to music and touring, Broadway project, since the Dressed to Kill Tour is discussed within the subsection.
- File:Cher Dressed to Kill D2K.jpg is now on the Films, music videos, and performances subsection, because it gives an ideia of what San Francisco Chronicle's James Sullivan is talking about when he says that "her chameleonic glitz set the stage for the current era of stadium-size razzle-dazzle". I didn't crop the picture because, given its new context, the focus now is on her stage act rather than on herself.
- File:Cher-Wax-338354947 Cropped.jpg is now illustrating the Legacy and influence subsection, since her 1988 Oscar win, as well as the outfit she wore that night, is talked about in the section's body.
- Lordelliott (talk) 15:42, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- So far so good. To be continued within the next week..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:38, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Looking forward! :) Lordelliott (talk) 18:09, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
From this point onward, I'll only be reviewing prose:
- 1979–82
- Second musical comeback, shift from disco music to rock
- "Black Rose broke up"..... disbanded
- "hit" in "UK top-five hit" is again too informal
- Done "That year, she released a duet with musician Meat Loaf called 'Dead Ringer for Love', which reached number five on the UK Singles Chart and was later described by AllMusic's Donald A. Guarisco as 'one of the more inspired rock duets of 1980s'." Lordelliott (talk) 20:47, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- "disappointing" in "disappointing sales" is not a neutral description
- Done "disappointing" → "low"
- 1982–87
- Film career breakthrough, musical hiatus
- "Her earliest entertainment ambitions had been in film, as opposed to music; but she had" → "While she had previously aspired to venture into film, she had"
- "take her seriously as an actor"..... actress
- Explain how Silkwood was controversial
- The controversy was attached to the film's subject matter (the life of Karen Silkwood, played by Meryl Streep, whose mysterious death received extensive media coverage). Since it doesn't have anything to do with Cher, I chose to remove the word "controversial". Lordelliott (talk) 20:47, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- "For her engaging and nearly flawless performance" is pure fancruft
- Done "For her performance" Lordelliott (talk) 20:47, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- Just focus on the Golden Globe win for Silkwood
- Not sure the David Letterman show paragraph is needed
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 20:47, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- If anything, I feel the Ferrari crashing ordeal would be better for an article on Rob Camilletti
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 20:47, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
More to come..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:27, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- 1987–92
- Film stardom, third musical comeback
- "the RIAA-certified platinum Cher" → "Cher, which was certified platinum by the RIAA"
- Again, "hit" in "top-ten hit" (both instances) is too informal
- I've heard of People being used for personal life details, but they're not exactly entertainment critics last I checked
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 23:58, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- When did Cher at the Mirage air?
- Done 1991. Lordelliott (talk) 23:58, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- The "three new songs" from Greatest Hits: 1965–1992 should be mentioned by name, and "Cher's" is not part of its title
- 1992–97
- Health and professional struggles, low-profile projects
- Is "David Letterman's show" referring to Late Night with David Letterman or Late Show with David Letterman?
- I couldn't find a single source specifying if the parody was aired on the Late Night or the Late Show. Lordelliott (talk) 23:58, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- Actually, I've figured out we can deduce which one based on when the parodies aired since Late Night ended June 1993 and Late Show started in August 1993. Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:12, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- It's a difficult task, since her infomercials aired between 1992 and 1994. I have the exact date for the Saturday Night Live parody (May 8, 1993) from SNL's online archive, but couldn't find online archives for the David Letterman shows. Based on the time period during which the infomercials aired, the Letterman parody could be aired on both Late Show and Late Night; we can't deduce from that. :/ Lordelliott (talk) 02:22, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- It would've been easier if it was just between 1992 and June 1993 or between August 1993 and 1994. I say remove Letterman (at least for now) since we can't pinpoint which one they aired on. Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:28, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 02:56, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- I would add "them" after "considered" in "critics considered a sellout"
- Only the original release for It's a Man's World is needed, and you don't have to specify a location for releases unless it's only released in one or two nations like Greatest Hits: 1965–1992 was
- I've said it before and I'll say it again; "hit" is too informal for songs
- Give specific examples of how she was praised for the Faithful film
- Done "Although the film received negative reviews from critics, Cher was praised for her role; The New York Times Janet Maslin wrote that she 'does her game best to find comic potential in a victim's role.'" Lordelliott (talk) 23:58, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- "she also starred as a doctor murdered by an anti-abortion fanatic" should end with a period, not a semi-colon
- "it drew the highest ratings for an original HBO movie to date"..... a figure is needed
- Done "It drew the highest ratings for an original HBO movie to date, registering an 18.7 rating with a 25 share and attracting 6.9 million viewers." Lordelliott (talk) 23:58, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
Let's get these out of the way. Snuggums (talk / edits) 22:05, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
- 1998–2000
- Death of Sonny Bono, fourth musical comeback
- "moving eulogy" is not neutral
- Done "moving" → "tearful". Better? Lordelliott (talk) 06:09, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- Is "affectionate" really an appropriate description for the CBS special?
- Done "affectionate" → "emotional". Better? Lordelliott (talk) 06:09, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- "It's not that I think this is a '70s album ... but there's a thread, a consistency running through it that I love" should just use " quotation marks (it currently begins with a ' mark and ends with '")
- It would help to give UK and US figures for the "Believe" song sales
- Done "'Believe' topped the UK Singles Chart for seven weeks and became the biggest-selling single of all time by a female artist in the UK, selling over 1.7 million copies in the country as of November 2013. It also topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart for four weeks, selling over 1.8 million units in the U.S. as of December 1999." Lordelliott (talk) 06:09, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- "most watched program in the television network's history"..... again, provide a figure
- I'd note when Live in Concert aired
- The year or the exact date? Lordelliott (talk) 06:09, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- "earned critical accolades for her performance"..... did you mean "critical acclaim"?
- Yep! Done Lordelliott (talk) 06:09, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- 2001–13
- Touring success, Vegas residency, return to film
- "Billboard" in Billboard Music Award should be italicized
- The Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song goes to songwriters rather than performers, so this award shouldn't be mentioned when it was really Dianne Warren's win
- "lent her voice to an animated character"..... let's be more specific and at least say her character was a lioness
- 2013–present
- Return to music and touring, Broadway project
- "entered the Billboard 200 at number three in September 2013"..... actually, it debuted on the chart in October
- "saying this indeed would" → "saying this would actually"
- "The fashion designer was cited, saying" → "The fashion designer stated"
- The “ and ” marks should be " for "This has been a dream of mine for a very, very long time." per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
And with that, "Life and career" is complete. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:40, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
- Artistry
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- Music
- "almost perfect song selection" sounds biased when not used as part of a quote
- Done "almost perfect"→ "'nearly flawless'", quoted per source. Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- "hits" (all instances) is too informal
- Done "hits" → "hit records". Better? Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- Not really; try something like "songs" or even "successes" Snuggums (talk / edits) 20:08, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- "either about a woman expressing her love for another woman, or a woman breaking up with a gay male she loved" is really close paraphrasing to AllMusic's "either about a woman expressing her love for another woman, or a woman saying au revoir to a gay male she loved"; use your own words or convert this into a quote
- Voice
- I don't think we need "distinctive" to describe her contralto voice
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- Films, music videos, and performances
- There is no previous establishment of who "Negra" is
- You don't need to link to the music video section of "Hell on Wheels"
- Elaborate on why MTV banned the video for "If I Could Turn Back Time", and you also don't have to link to the music video section of that
- Done "Deemed 'controversial' for her performance on a Navy warship, straddling a cannon, and wearing a leather thong that revealed her tattooed buttocks, the 1989 music video for "If I Could Turn Back Time" was the first ever to be banned by MTV." Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- Fashion
- To be honest, I'm not sure how this fits under "artistry"; it's probably better to place in "public image"
- Done Merged into "Public image". Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- We don't need to state how many times she was on the cover of Vogue
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- Not sure why the statement on her navel is tagged with a "dubious" tag for its citation; The Independent is very much reliable
- There's a RfC on Cher's talk page regarding this issue. Until we reach a consensus, I think it's better to leave the "dubious" tag, since I don't want to start an edit war. Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- "She has worn wigs since her 1970s TV shows" is too trivial to include
- Done Removed. Lordelliott (talk) 17:54, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
I'll do the "Public Image" section next round. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:48, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
- Public Image
- Do we really need to mention rumors of plastic surgery (even if it's her denying them) or state where she has tattoos?
- "She commented"..... I think stated would be better in this instance
- The last paragraph seems rather short and should probably be merged with the fourth per MOS:PARAGRAPHS (if not expanded), which discourages really long and really short paragraphs
- "most beautiful women of history" sounds biased when not part of a quote or title
- Other interests
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- Philanthropy
- "which supports numerous causes"..... give specific examples
- Done Lordelliott (talk) 14:11, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- Again, fifth paragraph should be merged or expanded per MOS:PARAGRAPHS
- Done Lordelliott (talk) 14:11, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- Politics
- "didn't" from "she didn't understand" should be "did not" per WP:CONTRACTIONS
- Done Lordelliott (talk) 14:11, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- "You won't have one f---ing right left"..... see WP:NOTCENSORED
- Done Lordelliott (talk) 14:11, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- "She said of George W." → "She added"
- Done Lordelliott (talk) 14:11, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
"Legacy and influence" will be next..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:58, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- Legacy and influence
- Not sure about the use of "daring" in "daring outfits"; a better term would be "unconventional"
- Is "Salon" reliable? If not, its commentary isn't worth including.
- After some search, I think not. Done Lordelliott (talk) 03:00, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- Achievements and recognition
- "notching" reads awkwardly; try "holding"
- Doesn't "holds the record of holding" sound strange? Lordelliott (talk) 02:18, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- My bad; I didn't notice the "holds" bit, so maybe go with "She has held U.S. Billboard Hot 100 number-one singles over the longest period of time in history" Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:28, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- "number-one hit"..... song
- "three of the four major American entertainment awards (EGOT)"..... while I personally know that "EGOT" stands for "Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony", not everyone reading this article will automatically recognize the term, so I'd give the specific award names. Snuggums (talk / edits) 01:42, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- Discography
- Looks good
- Filmography
- The Player, Prêt-à-Porter, and Zookeeper are missing; if having a "filmography" section that list films and has a separate article for filmography, we should list all films mentioned in the article body just like how the disocgraphy section lists all studio albums and there's a separate discography page
- References
- "Daily News" should read "New York Daily News"
- As noted above, I'm not sure how reliable "Salon" is
- Done Removed the Rhomas Rogers quote. I chose to keep Cintra Wilson's quotes from the same website, since she appears to be a respected author and writer who has contributed to the likes of The New York Times. Lordelliott (talk) 03:00, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- New York Post isn't exactly the best source to use, and isn't really needed anyway when better citations are already included for Cher exposing her naval
And that's all from me! Snuggums (talk / edits) 01:42, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- I am REALLY happy and thankful for all the input you gave to this article. I can't wait to nominate it for Good Article; actually, that's what I'll do in the next few minutes! :-) Hope you have a great break time and wish to see you soon. Lordelliott (talk) 03:10, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
- Happy to help, but DO NOT nominate while this in the middle of an RFC; I guarantee it would fail for stability. Wait until that concludes before nominating. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:35, 13 February 2016 (UTC)
Questions from Lordelliott
[edit]- Just added a paragraph on the Public image section regarding Cher's social media usage. Could you review it for me? :-) Lordelliott (talk) 14:45, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
- Only one comment; the citation for The New York Times should come right after the "in the public eye" bit without spaces. Snuggums (talk / edits) 01:15, 13 February 2016 (UTC)