Wikipedia:Peer review/Confessions (Usher album)/archive1

Confessions (Usher album)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review to check the comprehensive of the article and the quality of the prose before it goes to FAC.

Regards, Efe (talk) 08:05, 21 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 01:32, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for checking the sources. --Efe (talk) 00:09, 2 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: The sources and material in the article seem mostly good, but the prose is nowhere near ready for FAC and WP:WIAFA its criterion 1 (professional prose). Here are some suggestions for improvement of the language.

Lead - Recording sessions for the album took place from 2003 to 2004 and featured production by Jermaine Dupri, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, and Lil Jon. How about some thing like Recording sessions for the album took place in 2003 and 2004 and it was produced by Jermaine Dupri, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, and Lil Jon.
Unclear sentence: The album's themes generated controversy about Usher's personal relationship; however, the album's primary producer Jermaine Dupri claimed the record reflects his personal story. I think I owuld be more specific, perhaps something like The album's themes of infidelity and relationships ending generated speculation about Usher's relationship with Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas; however, the album's primary producer Jermaine Dupri claimed the record reflects his personal story.?
Chilli should be referred to as Thomas (not Chilli) throughout the article per the MOS
add a word to and remove some from Confessions was an instant commercial success in the United States, selling 1.1 million copies in its debut [week], the most ~~copies~~ ever ~~sold in a week~~ by an R&B recording artist.
Perhaps change this and combine with the next sentence Although it received criticism for its lyrical quality, Confessions received generally positive reviews and earned Usher several awards. In 2005, the album won a Grammy Award for Best Contemporary R&B Album. to something like Although it was criticized for its lyrical quality, Confessions received generally positive reviews and earned Usher several awards, including the 2005 Grammy for Best Contemporary R&B Album.
I am not sure this is correct - The album has gone platinum and gold in over twenty other countries, and has sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. I think it should be "platinum or gold", otherwise it seems to mean that the album has gone platinum after going gold in each of over 20 countries, when I think what is meant is that there are over 20 countries where the album's sales were either platimum or gold.
Conception is an odd section title when its second paragraph starts With forty recorded songs, Usher felt the album had already been completed.[3]
Much of the Composition section seems like it could be combined with this - perhaps Conception and composition?
The infobox lists 13 producers (I think), but there is very litle on the actual production and recording of the album. When did it start recording, where was it recorded, etc?
Musicians - why are they not listed in the personnel section?
Hopefully this makes it clear that this needs a major copyedit to clean things up before FAC, I'll stop here for now.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:05, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]