Wikipedia:Peer review/Death of Edgar Allan Poe/archive2

Death of Edgar Allan Poe

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hoping this can get up to Featured Article status. Hoping for commentary specifically relating to breadth, NPOV (especially in Credibility of Moran and Character assassination sections), excessive wordiness, weasel terms (some seem necessary considering the mysterious nature of the topic, but I'm sure this area needs improvement) and anything else a reviewer can offer. Thanks! --Midnightdreary (talk) 15:04, 27 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

"is clouded in mystery" - a little weasel.
"this interpretation had lasting impact." this isn't cited, unlike a number of other claims in the lead.
You should use the upright parameter portrait formated images per WP:MOS#Images.
"...out of character." "out of character for Poe."?
"Perhaps the best witness..." not particularly encyclopaedic.
Expand on the rabies evidence.
Don't like the positioning of the Poe template. I'd move it up to near the top and move the wikisource template into the See also section.

Very good article though. Shouldn't be too much of a push at WP:FAC! The Rambling Man (talk) 16:00, 30 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

We've had some discussions about that opening line before. Any suggestions? I'll look into your other suggestions as well. Thanks! --Midnightdreary (talk) 02:51, 1 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Agree this is a very well done article and needs little work for FAC. Here are three suggestions:

1) For the opening line I have two ideas. The first is a tweak of the current line:

The circumstances leading up to the death of Edgar Allan Poe on October 7, 1849 are uncertain and the cause of death is disputed.

The second idea is to use a quotation from a reliable source on Poes death, so assuming "has remained mysterious" was a direct quote, it would be:

The death of Edgar Allan Poe on October 7, 1849 "has remained mysterious":[1] the circumstances leading up to it are uncertain and the cause of death is disputed.

2) I would mention his wife's name in the lead (since his mother's name is already mentioned)

3) Is there any way some of the symptoms for the most likely proposed causes of death could be given? A sentence or two on the symptoms of the major proposed causes with "this would explain (or "be consistent with") his X and Y, but not his Z." I am afraid I am not being very clear on this, ask if you want me to try and explain it better. Overall well done, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The opening line is going to take some serious work, methinks. I've added Virginia's name to the lede but it may take some time to provide symptoms of some of the death theories. They may border on original research unless I can find some serious studies rather than just cursory lists (which is how I often see it). Not a bad idea, though! --Midnightdreary (talk) 17:00, 4 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I seemed to recall reading articles of this type (we think X died of Y) where they went into the symptoms that matched and those that did not - assumed it would be available here, but if it is not, it is not. Glad the review was helpful, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 00:38, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]