Wikipedia:Peer review/Dorothy L. Sayers/archive1
Toolbox |
---|
This peer review discussion is closed. |
SchroCat and I have been working together on the Sayers article with a view to taking it to FAC. Although she is best known nowadays as a crime novelist, Sayers had several more strings to her bow – playwright, theological essayist, critic, and – most important to her – translator, notably of Dante's The Divine Comedy. We hope we have woven all these threads into a coherent Life-and-Works article, and will be glad of any suggestions for improving the prose and for making anything clearer, any comments on the balance between the various sections, or pretty well anything, really. Tim riley talk and SchroCat (talk) 14:01, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
An entirely new article, but still an argument about an IB, even when one is present
[edit]- I mentioned on the talk page that you keep removing the upper name from her infobox as redundant. As far as I know every single infobox uses this, so there’s literally no reason to not use it. It looks sloppy, like an error. Dronebogus (talk) 18:04, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- You are in error if you think every IB uses it, but I have left an explanation on the talk page. - SchroCat (talk) 18:12, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Well apart from Dronebogus's thing about info-boxes, has he or she anything helpful to add – having read the whole text – to help us get the article up to FA standard? All sincerely meant suggestions gladly received. Tim riley talk 18:24, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- PS I added a new remark on that issue on the talk page, would appreciate comments Dronebogus (talk) 17:02, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- It's still not a good idea. - SchroCat (talk) 17:06, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- PS I added a new remark on that issue on the talk page, would appreciate comments Dronebogus (talk) 17:02, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- Well apart from Dronebogus's thing about info-boxes, has he or she anything helpful to add – having read the whole text – to help us get the article up to FA standard? All sincerely meant suggestions gladly received. Tim riley talk 18:24, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- You are in error if you think every IB uses it, but I have left an explanation on the talk page. - SchroCat (talk) 18:12, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
Comments from Tim (no, not that one)
[edit]Comments soon. Might be biting off more than I can chew, with two FACs I've to deal with first, but happy to offer my help. Will mainly be focussing on prose, not on IB parameters. As usual, suggestions will trickle in in batches, rather than in a sweeping comment-a-thon. Very little knowledge of the subject, but it's good to have a fresh eye over these sorts of things. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 21:33, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Looking forward to your comments: nice to hear the voice of sanity, and no rush at all! Two FACs? Ought I to be looking in at either? Tim riley talk 21:55, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Truss being the first, and Temple of Apollo Palatinus (not by me!) where I'm reviewing. Should have made that clearer. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 21:58, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Ah, well you've had my thoughts on La Truss. Shall look in at the Temple of Apollo Palatinus – by another, like you, of our recent megastars I see. Tim riley talk 22:04, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
- Truss being the first, and Temple of Apollo Palatinus (not by me!) where I'm reviewing. Should have made that clearer. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 21:58, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
Not doing a full review just yet, but from a quick glance at the ref section: any reason not to use sfns? Not a big issue for me at all, if the style used here is what the writers prefer. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 16:30, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- Hi Tim, sorry for the very late response to you on this - it slipped through the cracks. I am a big fan of sfns and always use them, except when Tim gets in first with his antediluvian method! (We tend to swap around, depending on who is doing most of the heavy lifting: Tim did here, so we went with his awful system!) - SchroCat (talk) 20:22, 13 November 2023 (UTC)
- Ha, no matter: you and I both know how painstaking it is to trudge through an article and replace everything with sfns. Doesn't affect my opinion of the article, in any case. Tim O'Doherty (talk) 20:24, 13 November 2023 (UTC)
Review
[edit]Understand that SC and Tim r have done different bits (not sure which bits though) so feel free, both of you, to do which ones "belong" to you. Done down to Early employment and first novel, 1916–1924
- Sayers was born on 13 June 1893 at the Old Choir House in Brewer Street, Oxford, the only child of Henry Sayers, a vicar in the Church of England, and his wife Helen (Nell) Mary, née Leigh - lot of commas here. Could split up a bit, something like Sayers was born on 13 June 1893 at the Old Choir House in Brewer Street, Oxford. She was the only child of Henry Sayers, a vicar in the Church of England, and his wife Helen (Nell) Mary, née Leigh
- Helen (Nell) Mary - "Nell" is her nickname rather than her middle name, right? If so, consider Helen "Nell" Mary.
- Not sure that's an improvement. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- was the son of the Rev Robert Sayers - I'd remove "Rev" and replace with "Sayers, a [vicar / archdeacon / rector] from County Tipperary, Ireland".
- We usually give clergymen their Revs I think: see this.
- in the fen country - is is commonly called that? Why not just "the Fens"?
- Yes, "The Fen Country" is in common use, just as we refer to the Cumbrian national park as either "The Lakes" or "The Lake District". There's a rather fine orchestral piece by Vaughan Williams called "In the Fen Country". Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- This affected the rector and his wife differently - consider WP:ELVAR, "the rector" stands out a bit: could do "this affected Sayers' parents differently"
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Better as it was and now is again. "affected Sayers's [not "Sayers'"] differently" invites the question "differently from whom?"
- St Mary's church, Bluntisham, where Sayers's father was rector during her childhood - St Mary's church or Church?
- The former. Tim riley talk 09:26, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- In Early years, could merge paras 2 and 3 together.
- Otherwise, Kenney comments, Sayers, - last comma needed here?
- Latin - link? Or is it too common?
- The latter, I think. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- In Schooling, I'd probably merge paras 2 and 3. Aware it's a bit of a non sequitur, but still.
- Better to keep paragraphs separate when they are separate topics. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Sayers's scholarship, worth £50 a year - what's that adjusted for inflation? SchroCat, you do this quite a bit in other articles, so why not here? Too afraid of another economic disaster? ;)
- but nursed by her mother she recovered in time to study - what would you say to but, nursed by her mother, she recovered in time to study?
- Not sure what the extra commas add. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Sayers was co-founder, with Amphilis Middlemore and Charis Ursula Barnett, of the Mutual Admiration Society, a literary society of undergraduate women, reading and critiquing each other's work - was it the society or Sayers that did the critiquing?
- but became friendly with C. S. Lewis - could briefly introduce him.
- I'll leave this one to Tim. To my mind, we've introduced the society as a literary society so there's a presumption that she met a writer there. Tim wrote this section, so I'll leave it to him to make a call on which way to go. - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Done Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Shame to hide the bit about Guinness in n4: move some of the content into the article body?
- The first of Sayers's series of detective novels, Whose Body?, featured her amateur detective Lord Peter Wimsey - introduce Wimsey all in one go the first time in Oxford, e.g. "on whose appearance and manner she later drew for her best-known character, the amateur detective Lord Peter Wimsey" and then you can cut some of the highlighted sentence by just doing The first of Sayers's series of detective novels, Whose Body?, featured Wimsey or something like that.
- The suggested introductory sentence is a bit long-winded, I think. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- That liaison was short-lived—White turned out to be married - woah! That should be something you lead with, like "After that affair ended she met a man, Bill White—who was already married—by whom she had a son in 1924". Also, "after that affair" makes it sound like her prior relationship was an actual affair: consider a rephrase. Tim O'Doherty
(talk) 17:39, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- The point is that DLS didn't know he was married. Don't agree that a more-or-less platonic affair is not an affair. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- I've flagged up the ones I've done (the easy, fairly non-contentious ones); to Tim r, I will leave the ones which need thought and judgement. - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Added my comments, and adding my thanks. Apologies for the delay. Tim riley talk 09:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- I've flagged up the ones I've done (the easy, fairly non-contentious ones); to Tim r, I will leave the ones which need thought and judgement. - SchroCat (talk) 12:03, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
Comments by Dudley
[edit]- "graduating with first class honours". In what? I think it is important enough for the lead.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- "The appointment carried a better stipend than the Christ Church post". Pedantry note: Shouldn't it be "posts"?
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- "in modern (medieval) French". I do not understand this.
- Neither do I, but that's what the source says. One of those peculiar Oxonian things, I imagine, like calling a college founded in 1379 "New College". Tim riley talk 17:49, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- You say that she was awarded honours in 1915 and in a note that she was one of the first women to receive a degree in 1920.
- That's correct. She passed the exams in 1915 but as a woman was not eligible to have a degree conferred on her until 1920. Tim riley talk 17:49, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- I think that is worth clarifying in the main text rather than a confusing (to me) note. Dudley Miles (talk) 18:55, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- "Pitt highlights an interchange between Bunter and Wimsey from The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club in which she considers parody: "Bunter produced an innocent looking monocle which was, in reality, a powerful magnifier. 'And the finger-print powder is in your lordship's right-hand coat pocket'".[132][133] The literature academic Valerie Pitt". 1. You give Pitt's details at the second mention. 2. "in which she considers parody". This does not seem grammatical to me. (Have I dared to criticise Tim's grammar - or SchroCat's?)
- Done (and the error was mine!) - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- "Writing in 1989 Reynolds noted that because of Sayers's translations, Dante has been read by "more English-speaking readers in the last forty years than he had in the preceding six and a quarter centuries"." Is there evidence for this or should it be "Reynolds claimed"?
- I'll look into this as I've read it in a few places. - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm wary of "claimed", which to me carries overtones of doubt and suspicion.
- I'll look into this as I've read it in a few places. - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm wary of accepting it without strong evidence. According to List of English translations of the Divine Comedy there were over 60 translations into English before Sayers. Dudley Miles (talk) 18:55, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- The problem is that there are a couple of sources that say this as fact, and it sold 1.25 million copies in fifty years (I've not seen any figures for the other translations, but it's possible they did not dell well). There are no claims to the contrary and no-one has queried the sources that say this. - SchroCat (talk) 16:43, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
- It has probably not been challenged because no one can know how many people have read the 60+ previous translations. It is a factoid invented by a biassed source and in my opinion it should be deleted. Dudley Miles (talk) 18:37, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure we should. It's something that appears in more than one source. Just because we may or not believe it doesn't mean we should delete it - it seems a pertinent thing to include and it appears in several sources. We're saying who makes the statement—and indeed putting it into a quote—so I think that should pass muster. - SchroCat (talk) 21:16, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
- "Sayers's novels have been criticised for racism, particularly antisemitism." The racism section seems to me the least satisfactory in the article. You say "particularly antisemitism", and then quote extreme anti-black comments which are not discussed thereafter. Antisemitism is treated as the main topic of the section, and then excused, but as the one example quoted is not extreme (at least by comparison with Eliot, for example) it is not clear what is being discussed.
- OK, a bit more included here, including an additional quote. - SchroCat (talk) 11:24, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- Feminism. I would like to have seen mention of Harriet Vane being persuaded to reject marriage and cohabit, and then indignantly breaking off the relationship when offered marriage. That seems to me to illustrate Sayers' views on marriage and hypocrisy.
OK, Done what can be, based on the source. - SchroCat (talk) 16:32, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- "the astronomer Brian G. Marsden, with whom Sayers consulted extensively during the last year of her life, in her attempt to rehabilitate the Roman poet Lucan". A few words explaining why astronomy was relevant to the rehabilitation would be interesting.
- Done - and interesting it was too! - SchroCat (talk) 11:40, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- "Sayers has a feast day on 17 December in the American Episcopal Church liturgical calendar." What is the theological signficance of this feast day? Is she regarded in the Episcopal Church as having some status similar to the Catholic 'Blessed'?
- God knows (well, I should hope He does). We inherited this from an earlier version, and as it is cited it seems right to keep it in.
- I checked the sources, but they don’t make it clear. - SchroCat (talk) 18:56, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- There is further detail here. It is a lesser feast for her as an Apologist and Spiritual Writer. Dudley Miles (talk) 20:02, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- As this opens on her description with "Dorothy Sayers is perhaps best known as a prolific fiction writer, with such famous novels as Murder on the Orient Express" and gives an incorrect burial place, I'll pass on this one and see if there is anything else we can use. - SchroCat (talk) 11:44, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- Found something else to clarify. - SchroCat (talk) 11:53, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
- Another fine article by Tim and SchroCat. Dudley Miles (talk) 14:12, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
- As always Dudley, many thanks for your comments - on point as always! Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 16:46, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
Comments from UC
[edit]As requested by SchroCat, I'll give the article a read and make some comments below. UndercoverClassicist T·C 21:18, 2 October 2023 (UTC)
- Noting here that I am not touching anything to do with the infobox - except to suggest that the alt text include a physical description.
- We might consider a plain-language pronunciation guide (sears) in addition to the IPA.
- It would have to be something like Sayrz, but I find pronunciation guides tricky: DLS's surname is not two syllables but nor, really, is it a monosyllable. Ages ago I got tangled up chez Massenet who I though was trisyllabic, but turns out to be something like two-and-a-half syllables. Somewhat the same here, I think.
- the Godolphin School, Salisbury, and Somerville College, Oxford: suggest the Godolphin School in Salisbury to make clear that only two institutions are involved here.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- She worked as an advertising copywriter (1922–29): I would avoid brackets like this in flowing text: from 1922 until 1929, between 1922 and 1929, vel. sim.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- Her first novel was Whose Body? (1923) and between then and 1939 she wrote ten more: I'm not sure the and is quite grammatical in this context: could do something like Her first novel, Whose Body?, was published in 1923. Between then and 1939....
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- In 1930, in Strong Poison, she introduced a leading female character, Harriet Vane, the object of Wimsey's love, who resists his proposals of marriage until Gaudy Night, six novels later, in 1935.: needs a bit of a look: the tense of resists, in context, implies that we're talking about Strong Poison, but the segment after until doesn't strictly apply to that book.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- Sayers moved the genre of detective fiction away from pure puzzles lacking characterisation or depth: this might be a bit strong, and invoke the wrath of (inter alia) the Conan Doyle fans. If this is a critic's view, I'd be somewhat happier to see it framed explicitly as such rather than in Wikipedia's voice.
Still to do. - SchroCat (talk) 16:44, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
- Already expanded and cited in the main text (to P. D. James, no less).
- worked with many of its members in producing novels and radio serials collaboratively, such as The Floating Admiral in 1931.: this suggests, though doesn't explicitly state, that The Floating Admiral was a radio serial.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- From the mid‐1930s Sayers wrote plays, chiefly on religious themes for performances in English cathedrals and for broadcast by the BBC.: the chiefly is holding up a little more than it can bear, I think. There's also a bit of a tension as to whether the plays were written for performance in cathedrals or for broadcast by the BBC: the two aren't strictly mutually exclusive, but it's an odd couple. Happy to suggest some ideas here if helpful.
Still to do. - SchroCat (talk) 16:44, 3 October 2023 (UTC)- Done - SchroCat (talk) 10:24, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- the three books of Dante's Divine Comedy into modern English: do we need to specify modern? I doubt anyone would think that she was translating into Middle English.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- a task nearing completion when she died suddenly at her home in Essex, aged 64: slightly wonky phrasing with the participle: how about something like "she died unexpectedly at her home in Essex, aged 64, shortly before completing the project"?
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:38, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
Life and career
- the Rev Henry Sayers: MOS:PEOPLETITLES would prefer this be expressed as something like "Henry Sayers, a vicar in the Church of England", which would also be more informative.
- It would also be inaccurate. Fixed. Tim riley talk 09:42, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:39, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- Suggest being clear that Tipperary is in Ireland, as MOS:NOFORCELINK considers clicking on that link a long way to go.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:39, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- I would clarify what Christ Church is, since it isn't the obvious (a church): again, NOFORCELINK applies.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 11:39, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- Sayers was proud of the Leigh connection: this might be a little clearer if the preceding sentence had something like "the Leigh family of landed gentry from..."
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- including her great-uncle Percival Leigh of Punch: I think this needs a bit more context to work: at minimum, what Punch was and how Leigh was involved in it.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- The lack of siblings and neighbouring children of her own age or class made Sayers's childhood fairly solitary: I worry that we're being a little uncritical here: of her own class shouldn't, at least in theory, have made much of a difference, but we've perhaps internalised (her parents'?) prejudice and refusal to allow their daughter to mix with working-class children.
- This reflects what the two main sources say. Tim riley talk 09:42, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- he was scholarly and self-effacing: one can be both of those things and still enjoy a party.
- There are a few points in this article where I worry it's getting towards the wrong side of the divide between literarily-written biography and encyclopaedia article: this particularly comes about when we have statements that might be reported in sources, but aren't strictly WP:VERIFYable. An early if by no means defining example is her parents were loving and attentive: this is exactly the sort of thing we might find in a biography, but that biography won't be subject to the same constraints and editorial policy that we are, so we should be cautious about simply lifting it and reporting it in the encyclopaedia's voice. Turning some of these subjective statements into secondhand reports ("She later wrote that...", "her biographer has described...") would help with the tone.
- still to do - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- and made full use of her father's extensive library: that's a very precocious four-year-old.
- Tweaked. - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
Tim, I'll leave the preceding six points for you, as you wrote this part. - SchroCat (talk) 11:36, 4 October 2023 (UTC)
- her parents decided it was time for her to go to: as this is an encyclopaedia, not a narrative biography, I'd suggest something drier like "her parents sent her..." to strike a more encyclopaedic WP:TONE.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- During an outbreak of measles at the school in 1911 Sayers nearly died, but nursed by her mother: not a totally clear sentence: presumably she was sent home around the point of the comma?
- Reworked. Her mother came to the school to do the nursing. - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- worth £50 a year for three years: my usual query as to whether we can contextualise this amount, if necessary via an inflation template but ideally through some sense of how far that much money went (can we compare it to her father's church salary?).
- The template added - I'll leave the question of the salary comparison to TR. - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Finally added something. Sorry for the huge delay on this. - SchroCat (talk) 11:44, 14 November 2023 (UTC)
- officially attached to the Church of England: attached to might be a bit strong (given that some Oxford colleges remain explicitly religious foundations): LMH is an Anglican college but has no formal affiliation to the CofE. I'd clarify that Sommerville is/was explicitly secular rather than simply not Anglican (which most notably avoids the misconception that it could be Catholic).
- Tweaked. - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- Somerville had a tradition of nurturing strong women to play leading roles in the arts and public life: I appreciate that this isn't your framing, but it is a little bit woolly: who decided if the women of Somerville were "weak", and what happened to those? I'd suggest that perhaps a source dealing more directly with Oxford or the college, rather than Sayers, might bring useful context or be able to frame this in a sharper way (e.g. via reputation?).
Still to do - SchroCat (talk) 10:17, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 13:01, 14 November 2023 (UTC)
- Muriel St Clare Byrne: I think we need a . after St.
- I'm not sure it's truly needed, but added anyway. - SchroCat (talk) 10:17, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- of the Mutual Admiration Society, a literary society of undergraduate women, reading and critiquing each other's work: suggest reworking the participle phrase: e.g. a literary society where female undergraduates would read and critique each other's work.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- We should probably explain briefly who/what the Inklings were, per MOS:NOFORCELINK: most of the pieces are here, but not really fitted together.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 10:17, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- who had a good contralto voice: stands out as dubiously verifiable: "was known for...", "was considered to have..." might be more encyclopaedic.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- developed an unrequited passion: on the same note, is passion quite encyclopaedic?
- I think it probably is just about acceptable. - SchroCat (talk) 10:17, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- she was attracted by: not a common idiom, I don't think: became attracted to... or fell in love with...?
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Examination results notwithstanding, Oxford did not formally confer degrees on women until 1920, when Sayers was among the first to receive one: Would give this sentence another look. Perhaps "Despite her examination results, she was ineligible to be awarded a degree, as Oxford did not formally confer them on women. She was awarded her B.A. in 1920, when this rule was changed: she was among the first women to receive one from Oxford". I'm considerably happier with the first of those sentences than the second.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 10:17, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- After coming down from Oxford: a bit too Oxonian for the general reader.
- Done - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- He was another of the men with whom she had been in love at Oxford: the phrasing of this smells a bit off to me: it seems to cast aspersions that Sayers fell in love with lots of men.
- Reworked. - SchroCat (talk) 13:14, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- Although she had reservations about the ethics of advertising: this implies that she found advertising unethical, whereas the note seems to suggest that she found lying in advertising unethical. There's a subtle difference.
- Tweaked - SchroCat (talk) 13:14, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- The Guinness toucan is a great factoid: any space for it in the main body?
TR: that's the second call for it to be promoted - may be worth dropping it in the body. - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- This already done - SchroCat (talk) 13:14, 24 October 2023 (UTC)
- as his Cousin Dorothy: decap cousin as it's "his" cousin, or remove "his" and double-quote "Cousin Dorothy" to make it a name rather than a description.
- Done (deleted "his") - SchroCat (talk) 12:35, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
Shall look in soon. A bit unwell at present. Tim riley talk 19:34, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
- Back. Shall resume later today, I hope. Grateful thanks to all for patience. Tim riley talk 10:06, 13 October 2023 (UTC)
- Some responses. More to come. Still a bit befogged, so hope my responses make sense. Many thanks for your patience. Tim riley talk 12:51, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
- Many thanks User:UndercoverClassicist. A couple of points outstanding, but we'll work on those before we get to FAC. If you have any more thoughts we'd be delighted to hear them. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 10:16, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- Hope that was all helpful: good luck with it when it does get to FAC. UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:21, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
Comments by Wehwalt
[edit]Sorry to be so slow.
- "Harriet resists Lord Peter's proposals of marriage until Gaudy Night, six novels later, in 1935." This might hint to the reader that Harriet appeared in all the intervening works, which is of course not the case. Also, I dislike the tail of "in 1935" hanging off the end of the sentence.
- Reworked, but clumsily and I don't like it. I'll work on it some more. - SchroCat (talk) 16:18, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
- "In that year Sayers published a volume of short stories, Lord Peter Views the Body" This is not new information to the reader as you mention it in the first paragraph of this section. I would rephrase it to recognise that.
- Tweaked - SchroCat (talk) 16:18, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
- "The Nine Tailors draws on the author's personal experiences. Wimsey crashes his car in a snowstorm in rural Fenland, and he and his manservant, Bunter, are offered refuge in a rectory resembling that in which she grew up." Is the snowstorm car crash among the experiences? It strikes me that the sentence could be compacted and if the source has further goodies beyond the resemblance of her father to Venables, the space more profitably used.
- There isn't anything more in the source on this, unfortunately, but I've reworked it slightly to clarify the 'personal experiences'. - SchroCat (talk) 10:33, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- "he has undergone a change to become a sensitive scholar, feeling guilt over condemning a murderer to hanging," It's not just any murderer, but one who was if not justified then had good reason for the killing, and whose words to Peter when caught are very much on point. It's not clear as to whether Peter has become a foe of capital punishment or in just this case where he feels guilt because the law will not do justice and he caused the law to intervene.
- Reworked a little - SchroCat (talk) 14:34, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- You refer twice to Busman's Honeymoon as Busman's Holiday.
- Corrected. - SchroCat (talk) 16:18, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
- More soon, somewhat at sea at the moment.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:47, 16 October 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks Wehwalt. Appreciated as always. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 14:34, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- I'll try to finish up later in the week. Wehwalt (talk) 20:01, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks Wehwalt. Appreciated as always. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 14:34, 25 October 2023 (UTC)
- "the writer Anne Perry considers" I guess the question is, how are you treating tenses for those commenting on Sayers and her works? If living people are the present tense, Perry no longer qualifies. Personally, I just go with the past tense in all cases.
- I tend to go with current case, but I'll defer to Tim when he gets back (and pre-FAC). - SchroCat (talk) 13:52, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
- On the racism second, it might be wise to make clearer that the second quotation is not put in the mouth of Sir Charles.
- Yep, done. - SchroCat (talk) 13:52, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
- " it must be very inconvenient what with notworking" is this as rendered? A sic might be called for.
- No - my typo. - SchroCat (talk) 13:52, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
- I might consider re-naming "Racism" to "Prejudice", perhaps. Antisemitism, even if in the mouths of characters in a novel (if this is, and not the character displaying ignorance), isn't in my book racism. Or perhaps "Racism and religious prejudice".
- I'll look into this, but I think the current classification is that antisemitism is a form of racism.- SchroCat (talk) 13:52, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
- That's all I have. Interesting read. Sorry to be so slow about it.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:19, 28 October 2023 (UTC)
SN
[edit]- Silent Passenger
- This recently added by an anon, but also (rightly reverted) as unsourced, but I do think it worth a sentence. It's a pretty notable thing, and the fact that DLS roundly condemned the result particularly so (Wimsey a 'Gaeity-bar lounger'!). I can be sourced to your Sandberg, p.156, who devotes a paragraph to it. Thinking on, it should also be possible to source that she learned campanology in the course of reseaching 9T. Serial 14:51, 17 October 2023 (UTC)
- SP now added. - SchroCat (talk) 19:40, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
- Rumours of Tim’s recovery were a little exaggerated and he’s going to have a slightly longer break, so I’ll step in and sort the remaining comments over the next day or so. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 16:46, 20 October 2023 (UTC)