Wikipedia:Peer review/Dwight Schrute/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am trying to get to FA, but need to make it perfect first.
Thanks, RedThunder 21:21, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into this article, it needs some more work to get up to FA standards. A model article is often useful for ideas and examples to follow. I note that Palpatine, Troy McClure and Jabba the Hutt are all FAs about fictional characters. There may be more good model FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Media
- The lead needs to be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself (such as his World Anime Expo T-shirt). My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but the Bobblehead Doll is not mentioned in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
- Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Article needs a few more references, for example Dwight craves authority over others and relishes any minor task that Michael or anyone else gives him. Though Dwight acts like a know-it-all, he is actually quite gullible and naïve. For this reason, he is easily tricked and tormented by his desk-mate and fellow salesman Jim Halpert. Dwight speaks in a halting, dramatic manner, even in casual conversations. is uncited. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- Biggest problem I see is that the article is mostly presented from an in universe perspective and needs to be presented from an out of universe perspective - see WP:IN-U. Look at the model articles and see how they deal with the character - how do the creators of the show talk about Schrute? What has the critical reception been to him as a character? Besides the VP joke, what other popular culture references are there to him? See WP:WEIGHT Similarly the sources are nearly all from the Office - article needs more independent third-party sources.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:07, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- Per the MOS, the graphical curly quotes are frowned on and shouldn't be used.
- Per the MOS, link titles shouldn't be in all capitals.
- Hm, what makes http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g52842-d730099-Reviews-Schrute_Farms-Honesdale_Pennsylvania.html a reliable source?
- Likewise http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/dwight-schrute-accepts-john-mccains-vice-presidental-nomination/? And should we be linking to this as it might be a copyright violation?
- I noticed some statements that are unreferenced, including the last part of the Character information section, and the first paragraph of coworker relations. Plus others.
- Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 11:52, 12 July 2008 (UTC)