Wikipedia:Peer review/Franz Ignaz Beck/archive1

Franz Ignaz Beck

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I've listed this article for peer review because I am (fairly) new at WP and I would appreciate someone knowledeable in music history (or musicology) to look it over.

Thanks, Thomas W. Jefferson (talk) 18:50, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This is interesting and generally well-written, but needs some more work to more closely follow the Manual of Style here. Some suggestions for improvement follow.

The current lead is only paragraph and does not fully summarize the article. Please see WP:LEAD - the lead can be up to four paragraphs long and for this article should probably be two or three paragraphs.
The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article - as a summary, nothing important should be in the lead only, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way which gives some ideas for expansion
The biggest issue I see reading this is a lack of references in many places. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref, but whole paragraphs and sections such as "1734-1754 Youth in Mannheim" and "[edit] 1791-1809 Last years in Bordeaux" have no refs and need them - see WP:CITE and WP:V
Make sure full information is given in references. For example, internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful.
The article would flow better if there were fewer short (one or two sentence) paragraphs - these could be combined with others or perhaps expanded.
In an article in the English Wikipedia it is a good idea to translate things in other languages - so the title of the Opus 3 or the sentence about him being principle violin. I would give the translation in the article and the original in a footnote.
Seems like there is some room for exapnsion. What did he die of? When? What was his legacy? What have critics / reviewers said about him?
The disambiguation links too in the tool box (right corner) finds two dab links that need to be fixed.
A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - Bedřich Smetana and Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov are two recent Featured Articles on composers and may be good models here.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 21:06, 23 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]