Wikipedia:Peer review/Golden Sun (series)/archive1

Golden Sun (series)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am attempting to bring this article through the GAN process. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks, haha169 (talk) 16:52, 11 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, but seems like it needs some work to get to GAN. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

There are over 320 GA video game articles, so there has to be a decent model article there for ideas and examples to follow. See Category:GA-Class video game articles - Metroid (series) may be a useful model.
- Funny. Metroid (series) was actually my model for creating this article. --haha169 (talk) 03:07, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The language needs a fair amount of work - for example jut in the lead, in It later focuses on the decedents of the original heroes. I think "descendants" is meant, or In Golden Sun, the player plays as Isaac and his friends as they set off into the world of Weyard to prevent a group of anti-heroes from releasing alchemy to the world. I think antagonists is meant, not antiheroes
- Spelling fixed; yes, they are anti-heroes. Explained in the characters list. --haha169 (talk) 03:05, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The article has several short (one or two sentences) paragraphs that should be combined with others, or in a few cases perhaps expanded.
- Done. (Except Golden Sun DS mentions, which do merit its own one-sentence paragraph)--haha169 (talk) 03:07, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
This seems like it needs a ref Once a Djinni on Standby has been used for a Summon Sequence, it must rest a number of turns before it restores itself to Set position on a character. There are sixteen Summon Sequences in Golden Sun, four for each element, and each summon sequence takes between one and four Djinn of the same element on Standby.
- Done --haha169 (talk) 03:09, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The refs seem to be overwhelmingly from the game itself - any chance for more independent third-party sources?
- Not much. We're hoping Golden Sun DS will generate more interest from independent third-party sources. But the original two games haven't seemed to get too much attention. --haha169 (talk) 03:09, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Look at WP:IN-U and see if some of the plot summaries etc. could be written from more of an out of universe perspective.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! --haha169 (talk) 03:09, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]