Wikipedia:Peer review/Harry Shearer/archive1

Harry Shearer

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'd like to eventually take this page to FAC and any and all comments would be most welcome. -- Scorpion⁰⁴²² 17:59, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Jafeluv

Infobox:

• Occupations: Uncapitalize all but the first one. Also wikilink the occupations.

Lead:

• Expand the paragraph about The Simpsons. You should give the role due weight since it's the one he's most known for.
  • Will do.

Early career:

• "Shearer received the role when he was seven-years-old seven years old."

• Done.

• The second paragraph uses quotation marks a lot. A part of it could be reworded to avoid a direct quote.
• "The show, which starred Christopher Guest, Tom Leopold and Michael McKean, was not picked up." – Either wikilink Michael McKean or omit the first name.
  • Done.

Spinal Tap:

• "The film satirizes the wild personal behavior and musical pretensions of hard-rock hard rock and heavy-metal heavy metal bands..." (Note also that heavy metal should point to heavy metal music, not heavy metal.)
  • Done.

The Simpsons:

• The second paragraph talks about "Flanders" and "Monroe" and seems to assume that the reader knows who they are. When I read the last two sentences, I had to look back to see where "Monroe" was introduced (way back in the first sentence).
  • Done/

Le Show and radio work:

• Quote box: replace -- with dashes.

• Done.

• "Since the merger of the XM and Sirius satellite radio services the program is no longer available on either; on which Shearer commented, 'because I guess, you know, mergers are good.'[42]" – What does the last part add?
  • Removed.

Further career:

• The part about Not Enough Indians uses too many "quotes", some chould be reworded to avoid a direct quote.

Personal life:

• "Shearer was married to Penelope Nichols in 1974"

• Done.

• "...divorcing in 1977" → "They divorced in 1977."

• Done.

• "has been to every edition of Jazz Fest since then, except one." – Why is this relevant?
• "Shearer often speaks and writes about the Hurricane Katrina disaster, belittling the coverage of it in the mainstream media[65] and criticizing the role of the United States Army Corps of Engineers in causing it." – Causing what?
  • Fixed.

Filmography:

• Probably large enough to warrant a separate article.

Awards:

• "On June 19, 2008, it was announced that Shearer would receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in the radio category." – This has been already stated twice in the article.
  • Removed.

I hope this helps. Jafeluv (talk) 03:18, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

It does. Thanks for taking a look. -- Scorpion⁰⁴²² 18:22, 14 June 2009 (UTC)