Wikipedia:Peer review/Hillsboro, Oregon/archive1

Hillsboro, Oregon

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review as it passed GA more than a year ago and has gone through additional improvements and refinements to prep for FA. Looking to see if there is anything more people think would be needed for a successful run at FA.

Thanks, Aboutmovies (talk) 08:09, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Peripitus

The lead misses summarizing what I see as the important parts of the article. It jumps from the founding to 3 1/2 paragraphs on the city as it is today. There is little on the history, geography , climate and some other things and perhaps too much detail from later in the article that should be summarized. It would also be good to add a couple of words on who David Hill was and why the city was named after him.

In the history section it notes the arrival of European Americans. Please check that they were called American at this point (18th Century) or simply European—given this reads as being before 1776. While I can see, in demographics, population growth, there appears little on the physical growth of the city. In Geography the first paragraph on street numbering is confusing. It both says that the system differs from nearby areas but also implies that mostly it does not....needs work on the clarity. The Health Care section would be better with a bit of history...what happened prior to 1918 ? The population figures in demographics are in both the table and scattered in the text, making the text less readable. I would prefer the opening paragraph like this:

Hillsboro's population grew from 402 in 1880 to 2016 by 1910, making it the county's most populated city according to census data. By 1970 it had increased to over fifteen thousand, though neighboring Beaverton had overtaken as the county's most populous center. By 1990 there were over 37,000 residents; commuters raised this to 110,000 during daytime.

The crime section needs some history - it gives a 2006 snapshot with no historical reference or information on whether it is changing markedly.

I see that sometimes numbers are written (sixty-eight percent) and in the same paragraph as numbers (7 percent). Not only would this read better one format but the repetitiveness of the word "percent" makes reading a bit cumbersome. I haven't checked but the referencing looks well done. All up a good read - Peripitus (Talk) 07:26, 13 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Kensplanet

The community was founded in 1842 and was named Hillsborough in 1850
What is this community and how is this related to the city.
I don't think Median household income and technology companies are so important to feature in the Lead. Better remove it.
Lead is incomplete: Where is History, Geography, Climate....
More comments on the next visit. Could you give some brief comments about the History of Mumbai article, located at Wikipedia:Peer review/History of Mumbai/archive2. Kensplanet^T _C 14:15, 13 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reply from Finetooth Thank you both for your helpful suggestions. A group of editors will use them to improve the article over the coming weeks. I will take a look at History of Mumbai and comment as time permits. Finetooth (talk) 18:19, 24 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]