Wikipedia:Peer review/History of hip-hop dance/archive2
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback on any information that may be missing. I think the history of the dance is thorough but there may have been something that I missed or forgot to add. Feedback on the grammar is also appreciated. //Gbern3 (talk) 15:51, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
- Also, can someone please rate this article. I rated it myself months ago but I suppose since I wrote it that makes it bias. //Gbern3 (talk) 18:12, 16 July 2011 (UTC)
- Comments by Bradley0110
- There's been quite a lot of information added to this article since the first peer review, and a lot of User:Ruhrfisch's comments have been incorporated. However, I think that you should state in the body text that it is Afrika Bambaataa who traces breaking to James Brown, rather than the current wording.
Done - Certain statements should be referenced to reliable publications, e.g. "the young innovators at the time had no frame of reference about capeoira to draw from." Done sort'of. I removed the sentence.
- Second paragraph of Funk Styles and the California renaissance, television show titles should be italicised. Done
- "RSC performs for the Queen of England at the Royal Variety Performance." England and the United Kingdom are not interchangeable. Done
- Some dates in references are formated at YYYY-MM-DD and others as Month Day, Year. Done
- I think as far as the early history of the dancing is concerned, this article is complete. However, I think it is lacking in information about modern history -- the table summarising worldwide exposure seems limited compared to the detail presented earlier in the article. Are there any other information sources you could tap?
Bradley0110 (talk) 10:41, 6 August 2011 (UTC)
- Bradley0110, thank you for your feedback. Yes, there are several sources I could tap but all that information is in the larger hip-hop dance article under the "impact" section. Both these articles use to be one but, as you may already know, "Hip-hop dance" was getting too big so I split off the history portion and created the article you just reviewed. Do you think it would be better if I moved the worldwide exposure table to the hip-hop dance article? I suppose that would keep this article more focused on the earlier history of the dance and the other article concerned with the modern portion. //Gbern3 (talk) 22:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)