Wikipedia:Peer review/Hostage Rescue Team (FBI)/archive1

Hostage Rescue Team (FBI)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to know if there is any major problems I have put a lot of research and work into it.

Thanks for all the hard work, Aaron Aaron mcd (talk) 03:49, 20 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comment here - clean up those references. Check out WP:REF for how to cite them - never use bare links. Bsimmons666 (talk) 14:35, 20 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like someone cleaned them up for me already. Any other tips would be appreciated. Aaron mcd (talk) 00:08, 22 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

These still need cleaned up. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:06, 26 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article and clear that a lot of work has been put into it, here are some suggestions for improvement.

Biggest problem I see with the article is a lack of references - for example the History section has six paragraphs and only two refs (four paragraphs are completley unreferenced). My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Internet refs that are used need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
I would try to add some more free images - there is one of William H. Webster for example
The lead seems a bit sparse - it should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
The article is very list-y, especially towards the end - many of the lists could be converted to prose to improve the flow of the article
Similarly there are many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that also impede flow - these should be combined with others or perhaps expanded
Article needs a copyedit in a few places I noticed typos like "the than FBI director" when "then" is meant

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:06, 26 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]