Wikipedia:Peer review/Hotline Miami/archive1

Hotline Miami

I am requesting a peer review of this games article as its last assessment was in October 2014, which gave it a C-Class. Being nearly a decade ago, this article has obviously changed and recently I made it a goal to try and get this article to GA, and so far I have already cleaned up a lot of the article and rewrote portions of it. Any feedback and suggestions for improvement is greatly appreciated.

Thanks, NegativeMP1 (talk) 19:01, 19 June 2023 (UTC)

Skimming through the article I wrote down some observations up until a part of the Development section.

• Lead
  • Rewrite or remove influences.
  • Specify Windows release date (October 23, 2012) and port release dates . There’s no need to be vague when the release information is already in the infobox.

• Gameplay
  • Section doesn’t seem to have neutral point of view. It’s possible that the written text is mimicking the reviews that are used as sources. You can take information from the reviews for writing about gameplay but I think it needs consist of descriptions of the gameplay without fluff words like "far outnumbered", "by default", "mistakes are often instantly fatal". That and I think the references don’t verify the paragraphs. Ref 4 and 7 are from the same website, they should all probably be ref 4. Check the references, it seems like they don’t have all the necessary information. Dates are missing from some, access dates too.

• Synopsis
  • Consider a character section or a list of characters.
  • I think there’s no need for a setting description.
  • "dubbed "Jacket" by developers and fans for his letterman jacket" – I’d put this in brackets.
  • Put "On a day in 1989."
  • "this battle is retconned by Biker’s own epilogue and the actual outcome is unknown." – maybe put this as a note, or just make an epilogue subsection describing the events with Biker and what effect it has on the story.
  • "while comatose".
  • Remove "After waking up". I’d put "Jacket overhears that his attacker has been put in police custody, he escapes the hospital and storms the Miami police headquarters, killing all inside."

• Development
  • Rearrange the information for the section. Maybe start with: Hotline Miami was designed and developed by Jonatan Söderström and Dennis Weddin of Dennaton Games. Due to financial difficulties Söderström and Weddin decided to develop their first commercial release by expand upon a game that Söderström had made when he was 18. Super Carnage was a top-down shoot-em-up in which the aim was to kill as many enemies as possible. It seems like this section is a bit too similar to the interview that's used as a source. I don't know if Wedin's quote is needed here, or just put it as a blockquote.

Orion409 (talk) 19:09, 30 June 2023 (UTC)

The majority of things from your skim have now been addressed, the exceptions being the list of characters proposal and merging references 4 and 7, as I'm not entirely sure how to go about either of those things but I'll likely do them soon. NegativeMP1 (talk) 05:01, 5 July 2023 (UTC)

Maybe just put the footnotes in the plot section as explanatory footnotes. By default they'll be letters instead of numbers. Reference number 9 has some errors too.

Orion409 (talk) 08:16, 8 July 2023 (UTC)

Done and fixed. NegativeMP1 (talk) 23:29, 8 July 2023 (UTC)