Wikipedia:Peer review/Hugh Beadle/archive1
Toolbox |
---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Sir Hugh Beadle, Chief Justice of Rhodesia at the time the Rhodesian Front government under Ian Smith unilaterally declared independence in 1965, offers an interesting perspective to the Rhodesian UDI story. Over three years of failed talks and would-be rapprochement Beadle went from Harold Wilson's second man in Salisbury, working tirelessly to attempt to find a way across the breach, to an "evil genius" who had supposedly supported Smith and UDI all along. In fact Beadle considered Smith and his RF cohorts a bunch of incompetent cowboys, and opposed unilateral action. Having attempted to position himself between the British and Rhodesian hierarchies before UDI, Beadle continued these efforts afterwards, going so far as to move into the official residence of the British Governor, Sir Humphrey Gibbs, as an adviser. The failure of the 1966 Wilson–Smith Tiger conference seems to have affected Beadle deeply and by 1968 we find him first ruling Smith's post-UDI order to be the de facto authority in Rhodesia, then declaring it fully de jure. Whatever his true motives, these decisions would define Beadle's life.
This article passed GA in January and I think it could be successful at FAC. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to any thoughts you may have. — Cliftonian (talk) 19:33, 22 June 2015 (UTC)
Comments from Tim riley
[edit]- Early life
- We usually italicise "née", I think.
- MP and Cabinet minister
- "and thereby became a United Party MP" – not sure the "thereby" is wanted
- MP and Cabinet minister
- "he added the Education and Health portfolios" – instead of or on top of his Internal Affairs and Justice responsibilities?
- On top of—four portfolios (!). Rephrased slightly — Cliftonian (talk) 15:26, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- "he added the Education and Health portfolios" – instead of or on top of his Internal Affairs and Justice responsibilities?
- UDI
- "was "not prepared to force showdown with the judges" – if this is a faithful transcript I'd be inclined to write "force [a] showdown"
- De jure decision
- "Davies' ruling" – elswhere you have gone fos ess-apostrophe-ess for possessives of people whose names end in s.
- Threatened removal from Privy Council; republican Chief Justice
- "convicted wartime collaborator Edgar Speyer" – what? He was neither convicted nor a collaborator. The Speyer affair was not something of which Britain can be proud.
- Oh dear, silly me. Thank you for the correction. — Cliftonian (talk) 15:26, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- "convicted wartime collaborator Edgar Speyer" – what? He was neither convicted nor a collaborator. The Speyer affair was not something of which Britain can be proud.
That's all from me. A good, clear and balanced account. – Tim riley talk 15:00, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for the helpful points Tim, especially for clearing up my egregious misapprehension regarding Speyer! I'm glad you like the article. — Cliftonian (talk) 15:26, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- Dipping in again, I spotted a "disassociate" which could with advantage be slimmed down to "dissociate". And I see you have a mixture of 10- and 13- digit ISBNs in your sources. Sometimes this goes unchallenged at FAC but not always. Safer to use the ISBN converter to get all your ISBNs in 13-digit form. Tim riley talk 21:02, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for this Tim—will do. — Cliftonian (talk) 21:15, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
- Dipping in again, I spotted a "disassociate" which could with advantage be slimmed down to "dissociate". And I see you have a mixture of 10- and 13- digit ISBNs in your sources. Sometimes this goes unchallenged at FAC but not always. Safer to use the ISBN converter to get all your ISBNs in 13-digit form. Tim riley talk 21:02, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
Comments from BB
[edit]Very interesting stuff. I remember the Tiger, the Fearless, Smith and Wilson of course, "Bomber" Thorpe, etc, but I don't recall Beadle. I was only a kid at the time. He was clearly an influential figure in the UDI years, and you have very neatly and impartially summarised his role, leaving it to the reader to judge whether he was a good guy or a baddie. Here are my comments:
- Lead
- Specify of which "High Court" he became a judge in 1950 and later Chief Justice.
- "prompting the British government to nearly remove him from the Privy Council..." The split infinitive jars a little, and the phrasing reads rather oddly. Maybe "prompting the British government to consider removing him from the Privy Council"?
- Oops—missed this one! Redrawn as suggested — Cliftonian (talk) 02:37, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
- "to this day" is not date-related and is a slight hostage to fortune - in any case, I wonder if this snippet is truly leadworthy?
- I've taken it out of the lead. It is an interesting thing to note, however, as many things in Zimbabwe have been renamed "since the revolution", and yet this chap the black nationalist movement denounced as a racist still has a school named after him. There are countless examples of this kind of thing in Zimbabwe, some of them somewhat amusing. East Harare still has a suburb called "Rhodesville" where the main road is Coronation Avenue and more or less every street is named after a British Second World War general. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- Early life and education
- "sharing a firm consensus that the responsible government campaign under Charles Coghlan were, in Beadle's recollection, "a pretty wild bunch of jingoes". Doesn't parse correctly. The "responsible government campaign under Charles Coghlan" reads as a singular rather than a plural entitly, and a campaign be described as "a pretty wild bunch of jingoes"?
- Rephrased to "Charles Coghlan and his responsible government movement were, in Beadle's recollection, "a pretty wild bunch of jingoes"." — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- "He graduated with a second-class Bachelor of Civil Law degree in 1930, and was thereupon called to the English bar." I'm not an expert on the methods for joining the English bar, but I'm a little dubious about "thereupon". I don't think the acquisition of a law degree gives automatic bar membership – there was likely some intervening process. Perhaps Bencherlite would provide a word of wisdom here?
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that it was automatic—rather that it came soon after. Redrawn — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- MP and Cabinet minister
- The somewhat overlong sentence beginning: "He was attracted to the United Party..." would I think be better split.
- I'm being a bit pernicketty, but OBEs are appointed, not awarded. Also, since OBE stands for "Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire", the wording "and awarded the OBE" doesn't work. The correct wording would be "...and was appointed OBE".
- Chief Justice
- Perhaps two "despites" in the first paragraph is one too many?
- OK, replaced the second one with "this notwithstanding"
- "a more major role" → "a bigger role"
- "The following year..." – perhaps give the year, to save readers having to track back?
- "While not recommending Federal dissolution, the Monckton report was strongly critical..." I think I'd reword this as; "While not recommending dissolution, the Monckton report was strongly critical of the Federation..."
- UDI
- "As talks between the British and Southern Rhodesian governments continued with little progress..." You need to indicate what these talks were about.
- Madzimbamuto case and Tiger talks
- Nothing
- De facto decision, rejection of royal prerogative
- Presumably, Madzimbamuto remained in detention?
- Yes—until 1974, when the bulk of the Rhodesian black nationalist leadership (including Mugabe, etc) was released as part of the terms for the Victoria Falls Conference. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- De jure decision
- What was the fate of the 32 nationalists sentenced to death?
- Rhodesia hanged them as terrorists, presumably, but I can't find the source explicitly saying that yet—will add if I find it. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- Threatened removal from Privy Council; republican Chief Justice
- The word "meanwhile" needs to be dropped from the penultimate sentence of the first paragraph, as the involvement of the Privy Council was a key reason why agreement couldn't be reached. "Meanwhile" suggests it was a separate issue.
- I'm inclined to think that "mostly white" is a little euphemistic. "Mostly white" could be anything over 50 per cent; I believe that the white proportion of the electorate was probably much higher than that. It would also help to be reminded at this point, or earlier, what the white-black proportions of the population were, at the time of UDI.
- Indeed—at the time of UDI whites made up 5% of the people but over 90% of the voters. The situation was not greatly different at the time of the 1969 referendum. I've put in a clarification of this higher up just before UDI. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- Later years
- I think "Zimbabwe Rhodesia" deserves a brief explanation as well as the link, e.g. "the unrecognised short-lived state of Zimbabwe Rhodesia which replaced the republic in 1979".
- Personality and appraisal
- The only point I have here is that the wording "must have secretly supported UDI all along" is very similar to wording used earlier in the article.
- Rephrased to "must have always been a furtive UDI supporter". — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
Excellent work. Brianboulton (talk) 18:51, 27 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you, Brian, for the review and the very kind words. I'll work my way through the points you raised later. — Cliftonian (talk) 10:56, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you again for this, Brian. I think the article is very much improved following your contributions here. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:19, 28 June 2015 (UTC)
- A pleasure. I am a perpetual student when it comes to modern history and am always pleased to add to my knowledge of events, particularly those just over the horizon of my experiences. On the question of streets retaining their colonial names, I remember Allenby Street and Balfour Street in Tel Aviv, and rather quaintly "George Eliot Street" and "Albert Square" (!) Brianboulton (talk) 09:11, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
- The best street name in Israel for a Brit is surely "Melchett Street", which I've seen in Tel Aviv, Haifa and a couple other towns. There is also the "Villa Melchett" by the sea of Galilee. "Baaahh!!!" — Cliftonian (talk) 17:23, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
- Much as I'd like to think that these were named to honour Stephen Fry's Melchetts, I fear they are for Henry Mond, the real Lord Melchett, who was active in the Zionist movement in the 1930s. Brianboulton (talk) 23:09, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
- Ah, but who do you remember with a smile when you pass it during a stroll through town? "HE SHOT MY PIGEON!" every day of the week. Not to denigrate the real Melchett's achievements. I can't imagine he would have been too pleased to know his name would be so re-purposed. — Cliftonian (talk) 23:23, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
Comments from FunkyCanute
[edit]Another excellent article on the subject of Rhodesia. I very much enjoyed reading it.
- Lead
- First sentence of third paragraph. Seems to get into minute detail, especially with the quote. In any case, the citation should be removed from the lead.
- It's important in my opinion to make clear off the bat Beadle didn't like the RF to counter the myth that he was an RF zealot, part of the Smith clique or some other kind of stooge. The inline citation needs to stay because it's a direct quote. I think the quote provides a good summary of how Beadle felt about the RF crowd—to an Establishment figure like Beadle (PC, CMG, OBE, don't forget), the Gwelo solicitor Desmond Lardner-Burke, the Selukwe farmer Ian Smith and the Gatooma earth-mover William Harper would have been jumped-up cowboys with no business running the country. Remember how Sir Humphrey Appleby felt about Jim Hacker in Yes, Minister. — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- Same para. '...Beadle repeatedly attempted to initiate procedures for compromise and position himself as an intermediary.' Ideally '...and to position himself...'
- Perhaps clarify that Beadle wasn't removed from the Privy Council.
- Both here and in the infobox, his name should be followed with PC.
- Yes, OBE too. Fixed. — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- MP and Cabinet minister
- ' Two years later, after retaining his seat in the 1948 election with a large majority,[10] he added two more portfolios, those of Education and Health.' Perhaps: 'He retained his seat in the 1948 election with a large majority and added two more portfolios, Education and Health.'
- I prefer it as it is, myself. — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- '...and put much work into attempting to create a Southern Rhodesian system similar to National Insurance in Britain.' perhaps '...into creating a system of National Insurance for Southern Rhodesia, similar to Britain's.'
- The source material does not say it actually would have been National Insurance, though—just that he wanted to bring in a "social security scheme" and that he was so keen on the idea his friend Julian Greenfield would later call him "something of a socialist". — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- Chief Justice
- 'This notwithstanding': simply 'nevertheless'.
- 'Beadle later expressed regrets that he not played a bigger role' should be '...that he had not played...'?
- Good catch, cheers — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- UDI
- 'The Chief Justice noted in his diary that that Smith's government was "not prepared to force [a] showdown with the judges".' One 'that' too many?
- Yes, good catch — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- De facto decision
- 'To the Governor's astonishment, he conceded...' Perhaps replace the pronoun with 'Beadle', just to be absolutely clear. If so, in the following sentence 'Beadle' becomes 'him'.
- Threatened removal
- "stricken from"... usually "struck off". Also, arguably the case should be pluperfect: '...had been struck off...'. The case of Speyer is comic: his offer to resign is rejected only for him to be struck off.
- Since you mention the 50 white seats, might it be pertinent to provide some information about the remaining 16 seats? Even if it's just to say of a total 66.
- Later years
- In the Mapane and Bango case, how did the Appellate Court rule?
- Don't know; can't find sources mentioning them afterwards (perhaps pertinent). — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- Punctuation
- You seem to favour the critically-endangered semi-colon. In most cases a fullstop might be preferable and easier for readers. For example: 'After returning to Rhodesia, Beadle took an interest in politics; he joined the United Party, formed to contest the 1934 general election out of the former Rhodesia Party and the conservative faction of the Reform Party.'. Here I might go with something like: 'After returning to Rhodesia, Beadle took an interest in politics. He joined the United Party, which was formed...'
- The semi-colon is in my view a useful way to neatly merge stubby sentences and keep the prose flowing along nicely rather than stopping and starting constantly—though I agree that excessive use can have a similarly negative effect. I would prefer to keep the example you quoted as it is, if that's okay. — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
I hope that's useful. FunkyCanute (talk) 16:44, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks FunkyCanute, this has been very helpful. I have replied to each comment specifically above. I'm glad you enjoyed the article. — Cliftonian (talk) 18:32, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
- A pleasure. With Ian Smith and this we now have a couple of really strong WP articles on the persons and motivations surrounding UDI. These conflicting attitudes emerge in BSAC times and it would be great to trace them through articles on Rhodesia's leaders across C20.
Comments by Wehwalt
[edit]- Lede
- "Born and raised in Salisbury," I just assumed it was the English Salisbury in view of his education, until I read the body. Suggest explicitly putting in a "Southern Rhodesia".
- OK. Have put "the Rhodesian capital" — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- " He became a member of parliament " which parliament?
- Southern Rhodesia's — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- " ruling United Party" can the majority party in a colonial parliament be said to rule?
- Yes, in this case—Southern Rhodesia was internally self-governing from 1923. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- "initiate procedures for compromise and position himself as an intermediary" I'd boil this down to "arrange a compromise"
- "Beadle's de jure recognition of the post-UDI government" did he really have power to make a de jure recognition? He wasn't a government, after all, and although his British appointment gave him legitimacy, somewhat, when you come right down to it, he was an official of a government not recognised by most nations.
- So far as I understand it he did so far as the Rhodesian legal system went. In any case this is the wording the sources use. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Early
- " the government debate in" suggest cutting.
- "He briefly read in London chambers" suggest "read" be piped to reading law (I'm doing this offline so can't check links, correct typos, but must set any out for you)
- MP etc
- Some brief account of hard wartime work or important service rendered by him during the war might be in order lest it be thought that he, like others have done, got transferred to a cushy civilian gig.
- Have added a quote from Facchini. Was tasked to "speed up affairs", apparently. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- "Beadle entered the Cabinet at a time " 1946? then why not "had entered"?
- Am I correct that after 1948 he held four portfolios? Shades of Pooh-Bah!
- Yes, four portfolios. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Do we know why he left politics? If so, might be worth mentioning.
- Have added; was because he thought he would not work well with Edgar Whitehead, who he correctly predicted would eventually become PM. Have added the character of Whitehead. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Chief Justice
- We have to wait more than a paragraph to have him do something judicial, and then it isn't much. Can a brief preface be put in reciting when he was sworn in, and some brief mention of his early days as judge (two sentences, total) before getting down to the meat of the political situation?
- Trying to find, but not much in the way of sources here. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Do we have an article on the federation's constitution? Might be worth a pipe if so. Did only Southern Rhodesia vote?
- Yes; Southern Rhodesia was self-governing and the other two territories were not. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- It's not clear why the Southern Rhodesia government was acting under a state of emergency in Nyasaland. That's what this implies.
- Trimmed. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- UDI
- "fortified the impression that UDI seemed to be imminent." Seems a bit vague.
- Trimmed. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- de facto
- "Whitehall reacted by announcing on 1 March 1968" surely the announcement would have been made by a cabinet minister or some such?
- The source says simply "the Commonwealth Office announced in London". — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- de jure
- The first paragraph has very little to do with Beadle except for background and might be considerably shortened.
- "He asserted that the court therefore faced a choice between the 1965 constitution and a legal vacuum, the latter of which he felt he could not endorse." Maybe, "He asserted that as he could not countenance a legal vacuum, the only alternative was the 1965 constitution"
- "blocking quarter" this may be unclear to US readers.
- expanded slightly — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- "Heath's administration" Heath's government?
- Later years
- "had just been convicted" the "just" is probably not needed.
- "He referred the case to the Appellate Court for immediate consideration." possibly too much detail.
- Were there terrorism trials under the resumed British authorities? Death penalty? The "continued to serve" seems a bit odd if not at least the first.
- My intention was just to describe the different governments in passing. So far as I know they didn't have terrorism trials in this time, no. The source (Palley) says: "After retirement in 1977, Beadle sat for three years as acting judge in trials under the special criminal procedure for serious ‘terrorist’ cases, carrying the death penalty." — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Appraisal
- I'm not sure this section is structured as clearly as it might be.
- Why not? We have a paragraph on Beadle's personality, a paragraph on Beadle's motives and speculation thereon, and finally an attempted summing of of Beadle. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- fn 2: were the papers ever released by Beadle? I imagine they are long public, since it is longer than 30 years.
- Don't know. None of the sources mention them. Since he died long before they became public, it would not surprise me if they are still laying forgotten at the bottom of a vault somewhere in Pretoria or Johannesburg. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
Very nicely done--Wehwalt (talk) 07:23, 4 July 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you Gary, this has been helpful. I hope I have replied satisfactorily to your concerns. — Cliftonian (talk) 09:04, 4 July 2015 (UTC)