Wikipedia:Peer review/IMac G4/archive1

IMac G4

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm interested in getting feedback prior to a Featured Article nomination. In particular, any comments on technical aspects from an average reader would be useful to prevent it from being too dry and technical. Thanks, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 18:52, 5 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from PMC

Signing up! Ping if I don't comment within a week. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 23:33, 12 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

RoySmith

stainless steel arm that allows the monitor to be easily tilted and swiveled "easily" is editorializing.
reversing the company's fortunes I'd be more explicit that the company was going downhill and this was a win for them. That's kind of implied by "a commercial success", but I'd say that outright.
Apple began envisioning a replacement based around an LCD A replacement for what? I suggest something like "Apple began envisioning an LCD screen to replace their current CRT models".
- Oh, wait, I see I entirely missed that you switched from talking about the G4 to talking about the G3. I didn't notice this until I got down to Development where you mentioned sales of six million units and that didn't jive with what I'd read earlier. I'd give the reader a head's up (in both the lead and in Development) with something like "Apple's previous release, the iMac G3, had been a commercial success..."
updated over the years with faster processors, components, and larger LCDs earlier you implied that the processor was a component, now you've switched to processor being listed in addition to the components.
all the input/output I think you need a noun there: "input/output ports"
Video Graphics Array out I suspect more readers will recognize "VGA" than the full name spelled out.
That's interesting about shipping with Otto Matic. I remember another Mac I had which shipped with Pangea's Nanosaur, which both my wife and I got addicted to and competed to beat each other's scores :-)
Apple stagger-launched the iMac G4; initially only the high-end 15-inch model was available ... A high-end model with a larger display released in August ... reduced to a single 15- and 17-inch model each I'm having trouble following the chronology of the various models. I think this wholse section needs some clarification.
Critics noted that the flat-screen design allowed them to forget the rest of the computer was there, as well as the ergonomics of adjusting the screen this is a difficult sentence. If you don't read it carefully, you come up with "to forget the ergonomics of adjusting the screen".
PC Magazine and HWM were among the publications that suggested that ... The repetition of "that" is awkward. I've never been able to figure out the that/which thing, but even if this is grammatically correct, it reads funny.
In the Specifications table, you use "TFT" without defining it. Also SDRAM