Wikipedia:Peer review/Iloilo International Airport/archive3

Iloilo International Airport

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
Filing a more proper PR request after learning that failed FACs may only file PR requests at least two weeks after such, I hope to prepare this article once again for FA, or even GA, status in preparation for the Tinuom Festival in Cabatuan on September 10, the municipality where the airport is situated. After taking into account many comments from a PR and an FAC, I hope to be able to receive more comments in order to better improve the article. Thanks! --Sky Harbor ^(talk) 12:52, 17 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Peripitus

A map of the airport layout would be a positive thing in the article
A few bits of redundancy that need cleaning up - I've just picked a few at random with how I would word them.
- ~~With the closure of Mandurriao Airport,~~ Iloilo ~~International Airport~~ inherited Mandurriao Airport's IATA and ICAO airport codes - given the following text this seems overly wordy
- 6.2-billion peso (US$112 million) loan as part of a ~~loan~~ package provided - that the package is a loan one is implicit.
- During ~~the course of the airport's~~ construction, the airport - says the same thing
- for transport services to ~~and from~~ the airport - from is implicit here
- as ~~after it was found that~~ Mandurriao ~~Airport~~ was deemed unexpandable due to operational obstacles and the presence of neighboring structures ~~that prohibited its expansion~~
- ~~Out of the three proposals, the proposal to rename the airport~~The name Panay International Airport ~~had since been~~ was dropped due to opposition by the Iloilo city and provincial governments - again says the same thing more succinctly
A few bits of unclear writing with repetativeness
- "The first proposal, Iloilo International Airport, refers to the original name of the airport which had the support of the Iloilo provincial government and the Iloilo city government" is unclearly written. Perhaps better as "Iloilo International Airport was the first proposal and had the support of the Iloilo provincial and city governments". The rest of this paragraph needs some work with repeated use of the word "proposal" that seem unneccessary

The lead needs to summarise the whole article. It is missing information on the naming, history and physical structure sections.
In the history section, the airport begins with an executive order of 1998. A lot would have occurred before this that should be mentioned. Though there is text on the reason behind its creation this would be better earlier in the section with more information and dates.
Currently, no airline is operating international routes to and from Iloilo - far better in an "As of <date>" format as this type of line ages fast
In the "Public transportation" section the values quoted, if kept, need dates on which they were valid
As noted in the first peer review there are many short paragraphs that could be combined. With any paragraphs of only a couple of sentences (Paragraph 2 in "Passenger terminal", all in "Other structures", the "Opening Dates" section and other places), consider combining them where they cover a common theme.
Quite a few repeated references. It's not necessary to have a reference at the end of each sentence - a single reference should only appear at the end of the complete paragraph subsection it references. See "History" paragraph 2 with ref [2] repeated thrice, "History" paragraph 4 with [6] twice in sucession, "Inauguration and start of operations" paragraphs 1 and 3 - there are some others as well

- Peripitus (Talk) 06:04, 24 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Reply

I would love an airport map, but since this airport is virtually new, there is not one available. There may be one in the records of the ATO/CAAP, but I cannot guarantee that they will allow me to get it for use on Wikipedia.

The trick here is to get a friendly person to create a map using the information contained elsewhere. The good folks at Wikipedia:WikiProject Maps may be able to help - Peripitus (Talk)

On redundancies: these will be fixed (points 2, 3, 4 and 5 are already fixed)
There is information on what happened before 1998 in the Bacolod-Silay City International Airport article and has likewise been incorporated in the article.
The line on international service has been changed to "As of 2008...". I can always change this though to reflect an actual date.
Taxi fares are valid as of 2007. Any changes to reflect 2008 prices would either entail using blogs (which Filipinos trust but Wikipedia doesn't accept as valid) or OR, which I cannot do since I am not resident in Iloilo City.

I will of course address the other issues when I have additional time to do so. In the meantime, thanks for the review! --Sky Harbor ^(talk) 14:06, 24 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Update

Sections on the airport's passenger terminal and other facilities have been cleaned up. For both, the three paragraphs were made into two paragraphs. For the former, some references have likewise been rationalized. The "Other structures" section has to be kept since these are distinct parts of the airport complex.
The names section was partially cleaned up, removing redundancies found in the second paragraph.
The lead has been expanded and re-written to be more expansive of the airport's coverage

--Sky Harbor ^(talk) 12:57, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]