Wikipedia:Peer review/Integrated Visual Augmentation System/archive1

Integrated Visual Augmentation System

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I hope to get this article to GA status. General comments would be appreciated, but there are two specific issues I would like feedback on. The first is broadness of coverage, as I'm concerned if my background may mislead me into omitting stuff not obvious to the layman. The second is neutrality, as another editor had once commented that the article doesn't completely reflect the critical attitude of the sources.

Thanks, Liu1126 (talk) 15:34, 23 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720

Comments after a quick skim:

The History section is quite long. Consider moving some of this information to other sections like "Development" and "Reception"
Reception section should be in the article. What do sources say about this product?
"As of October 2020, IVAS was on its third iteration." Any information on the first two iterations?
Suggest expanding the lede, as it is quite short.
Suggest using IA Bot to archive the websites.

Hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 00:05, 1 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I've expanded the lead and archived the websites. Information on the earlier iterations is scarce, but I managed to add a brief sentence on them. I moved some information out of History into Reception and Design and renamed what was left as Development, but the section still stands as the longest part of the article. Perhaps expanding Reception would make it seem a bit more balanced, but there's a lack of direct commentary on IVAS, mostly just news reporting. Liu1126 (talk) 11:59, 5 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]