Wikipedia:Peer review/Jain philosophy/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…Jain philosophy is one of the most important area of Jainism and hence this article needs to be rated/improved from a broader perspective
Thanks, Anish (talk) 12:09, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I am reviewing the five Jainism articles at Peer Review - since there are some similarities between them, I will make some similar comments. You may want to ask for other reviewer's comments at WP:PRV to get some more feedback. I also found this to be an interesting article and hope these suggestions help improve it:
- The article needs to be copyedited - for example, the second sentence has an error Jainism is essentially a transtheistic religion of ancient Indian.[1] Either ...of ancient India.[1] or perhaps ...of ancient Indian origin.[1] works
- While the current lead is well written and a good introduction to the topic, it does not summarize the whole article. My rule of thumb is to see that each section header is at least mentioned in the lead, even if only a phrase or word. So, for example, Karma is a section, but it not in the lead. See WP:LEAD
- References come right after the punctuation and need a space following them, so "...blah.[1] Blah" See WP:CITE
- The article is fairly well sourced, but needs more references - any quote or attribution should be sourced, so Mahāpurāṇa of Ācārya Jinasena is famous for this quote -... needs a ref (where does he write this?) Also none of the Traditions subsections or Philosophers section are referenced. See WP:V
- References themselves need to follow consistent format - for example page numbers are given for some book references, but not all, or some use a number and other use p. and a number
- Per the WP:MOS, please do not repeat the title of the article in section headers, or start a header with The, so "Schools of Jain Philosophy" would just be "Schools" and "Jain Philosophers" could probably just be "Philosophers" since we already know the article is about Jainism. Also "The nature of divinity and God" could just be "Nature of divinity and God"
- Try to avoid jargon where possible or explain it - the article does a fairly good job explaining non-English terms, but there are some philosophical / religious terms that could use a breif explanatory phrase or sentence. Syādvāda is the theory of conditioned predication... what is conditioned predication? See WP:JARGON and WP:PCR
- There are a fair number of lists of principles in bold - may of these could be wikilinked, such as Ahisma
Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 14:36, 19 April 2008 (UTC)