Wikipedia:Peer review/James May/archive1

James May

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to improve this article, maybe get it to a B-class and then maybe a GA sometime in the future, and I just want to see what needs fixing.

Thanks, Queenie ^Talk 14:44, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Otto4711 comments

This won't be a full review but I will try to highlight some of the major issues.

The biggest problem currently is the lead. It introduces a lot of information that is not elsewhere in the article, which can't be the case in a Good article. There is also a lot in the article that isn't touched upon in the lead. Per WP:LEAD the lead is supposed to serve as a concise introduction to the topic to prepare readers for the in-depth information to follow.
I'm not a big fan of the personal life/professional life split in cases where there is substantial information available about both. My preference is that the two be integrated, but that is not a requirement for GA.
If the personal/private are retained as separate sections then the Autocar dismissal should be moved to the professional career section. That pull quote is enormous and may put undue weight on the incident.
Personal life section is very choppy. Try to merge some of the one-sentence paragraphs together or expand them. His smoking a pipe seems very trivial.
Guest spots are also trivial.

Hope these comments are helpful. Otto4711 (talk) 17:08, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, getting around to them. Queenie ^Talk 21:10, 1 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Gran2's comments

Ah, May, my favourite Top Gear presenter.

The lead needs to be a bit longer, but it'll probably pass GAC as it is.
In the infobox, the "Known for" entries should be in italics.
The structure is a bit confusing: Perhaps rename "Personal life" -> "Early and personal life"? I don't know. Perhaps also group the others and make them subsections under a single "Career" heading.
Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes should be in italics.
The "Guild of Motoring Writers Journalist of the Year Award" box should be below the External links.
The references should be properly formatted with author, date etc. using the cite web or cite news formats.
A lot of the "Journalism career" section appears to be unsourced.

Looks pretty good on the whole, good start. You might do well to look at some other GA biographies for inspiration. Gran² 13:42, 8 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]