Wikipedia:Peer review/Josh Tols/archive1

Josh Tols

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm interested in improving the quality of Victorian baseball articles and I'd like to get this article closer to being a good article. I'd really like comments and suggestions which would help close the gap to good article status.

Thanks, FBC Pat (talk) 21:06, 15 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from NatureBoyMD

Use an en dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) between year ranges (i.e. 2012–2013 or 2012–13) in parenthesis or section headings.
When used in prose (i.e. in a sentence), year ranges should not use an en dash (2012 to 2013, not 2012–2013).
Tols should always be referred to as "Tols" or by a pronoun, and never as "Josh".
Look for additional baseball-specific terms to link: AA and AAA (though it really ought to be Double-A and Triple-A).
Use a template like Template:Cite web to properly format references.
Remember to place references after punctuation instead of floating freely in a sentence.
"Early life": Is there more that could be said?
"Career": There are a number of grammatical errors (missing words, missing punctuation) and linking errors throughout.
"Career": I'd recommend reorganizing the two collegiate sections into one and dropping the individual sections for each year. Then, compose solid, well-written paragraphs about each season. His season stats (win-loss, ERA, strikeouts) are generally covered, but was there anything remarkable about each season? Scouting reports? Improvements? Set backs? Being scouted? Without anything more, it reads like, "In XXXX, Tols pitched for the X and had a X-X record with X strikeouts in X.XX innings pitched" over and over and over.
Consider the same with the Australian Baseball and Minor Leagues sections; make each one section with several informative, but not repetitive, paragraphs.
As always, a picture would be nice if freely available, though these can be hard to come by.
In general, I'd focus on grammar, punctuation, and expanding. Take a look at Clayton Kershaw or other Baseball Biography Good Articles for ideas.
@FBC Pat: I'll be glad to provide any further assistance I can render. Good luck! NatureBoyMD (talk) 21:38, 30 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]