Wikipedia:Peer review/Karl G. Maeser/archive1

Karl G. Maeser

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to submit it for good article status. This is the first article that I have worked on that i have gotten peer reviewed, so I am new to this process. I would like feedback on how to better the page to get it approved as a good article.

Thanks, Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:11, 11 May 2016 (UTC)

Comments

• Given the length of the article, I would recommend expanding the lead
• The US does not have freedom of panorama for sculpture, so the BYU statue will need a licensing tag for the copyright of the work itself as well as the photo
• "is considered its true founder" in the lead: it's not clear at this point in the article what is meant by that. Suggest rewording or omitting
• Usually non-notable children are not listed in the infobox, just a number given
• Why did he lose his sight? Why was he unfit for military service? Who forced him to leave Germany? A number of questions are raised and not answered by the text throughout
• Work titles should be italicized in references - Deseret News, BYU Magazine, etc. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:54, 14 May 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for reviewing my article! I have gone back through and made your suggested changes. However, when you said that there were a number of questions raised that weren't answered, did you have any other questions in mind besides the ones that you listed? Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 20:05, 17 May 2016 (UTC)

Who called him to serve as a missionary? Who asked him to be the conference president? Who appointed him to head church meetings? What is a Norman Department? Why was the spelling of his name altered for the school named after him? "Although no one was baptized while Maeser was president, he did help create friendlier public-relations between Utah and California" - how are these facts related? Nikkimaria (talk) 03:29, 18 May 2016 (UTC)

Done. Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:48, 18 May 2016 (UTC)