Wikipedia:Peer review/Kevala Jñāna/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…Kevala Jnana is one of the most important concept of Jainism and hence this article needs to be rated/improved from a broader perspective
Thanks, Anish (talk) 12:16, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I am reviewing the five Jainism articles that were left at Peer Review - since there are some similarities between them, I will make some similar comments. You may want to ask for other reviewer's comments at WP:PRV to get some more feedback. I also found this to be an interesting article and hope these suggestions help improve it:
- The lead needs to summarize the whole article. My rule of thumb is to see that each section header is at least mentioned in the lead, even if only a phrase or word. So, for example, Mahavira and Moksa are sections, but they are not in the lead. The current lead is one very long paragraph and could be split into two paragraphs or perhaps expanded to three. See WP:LEAD
- Define unfamiliar terms consistently - this is done nicely for "Kevala" and "Jñāna", "Tirthankaras", "Kevali", and "Moksa", but in the rest of the lead we also have "jīva", "ajīva", and "ghātiyā karmas" that are going to be unfamiliar to most readers.
- This leads into the need to avoid jargon where possible or explain it. Provide context for the reader as well - who is Mahavira? See WP:JARGON and WP:PCR
- Be consistent on spelling - is it Jain or Jaina?
- References come right after the punctuation and need a space following them, so "...blah.[1] Blah" See WP:CITE
- The article needs many more references - any quote or attribution should be sourced, and the whole section "Supreme Non-attachment or Vītarāga" has zero refs (See WP:V
- References themselves need to follow consistent format - internet refs need url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. The {{cite web}} and {{cite book}} templates help.
- Duplicate references can be cited repeatedly using <ref name ="blah">ref details</ref> the first time, then the next time you want to cite that, just write <ref name ="blah"/>
- Per the WP:MOS, please do not repeat the title of the article in section headers so as one example "Kevala Jñāna and Moksa" would just be "Moksa" since we already know the article is about Kevala Jñāna.
- The article needs to be copyedited
- Much of the article does not read like it is written from a neutral third party point of view, for example Kevala Jñāna is one of the five major events in life of a Tirthankara and is known as Jñāna Kalyanaka and celebrated by all gods. Mahavira’s Kaivalya was celebrated by the demi-gods, who constructed the Samosarana or a grand preaching assembly for him. needs a ref and needs to be qualified, i.e. "According to this source / the beliefs of Jainism, Kevala Jñāna is one of the five major events..." etc.
Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 15:52, 19 April 2008 (UTC)