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Krishna

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
The article recently recently passed GA. Suggestions are needed to improve the article to FA status. Or is it already ready for FA?

Thanks, Redtigerxyz (talk) 12:59, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article and nicely illustrated, here are some suggestions for improvement.

There are some places in the article that do not make sense to me. Two examples:
- Krishna (कृष्ण in Devanagari, kṛṣṇa in IAST, pronounced [ˈkr̩ʂɳə] in classical Sanskrit) (3228 BC - 3103 BC)... The dates without further explanation in the lead are confusing - it makes it look like Krishna is a mortal. Also this 3103 BC date is only in the lead, and not repeated in the article for further clarification (which gives the end of his life date as 3102).
- Or this Krishna is often depicted in murtis (images) as black, and is generally shown in paintings with blue skin. He is often black but generally blue - which is it? Can this be said more clearly? This needs a ref, see below.
If this were at WP:FAC, the biggest problem I see is a lack of references in some places. For example In this form, he usually stands with one leg bent in front of the other and raises a flute to his lips, accompanied by cows, emphasising his position as the divine herdsman, Govinda, or with the gopis (milkmaids). or this following paragraph The scene on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, notably where he addresses Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, is another common subject for representation. In these depictions, he is shown as a man, often shown with typical god-like characteristics of Hindu religious art, such as multiple arms or heads, denoting power, and with attributes of Vishnu, such as the chakra or in his two-armed form as a charioteer. all need refs - My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
The other main concern I see if this were at FAC is the language - one of the hardest criteria for many articles at FAC is professional English. I would get a copyedit.
There are multiple places where more context could be provided for the reader, see WP:PCR. Two examples:
- The name Krishna is also the 57th name in the Vishnu Sahasranama and means the Existence of Bliss, according to Adi Sankara's interpretation. [10] although Adi Sankara is linked, I still think it would help be clearer to explain in a few words who this was. Also note that refs should immediately follow punctuation, not have spaces between.
- I like how dates are given in some places like Narayana Tirtha's (17th century CE) Krishna-Lila-Tarangini provided material for the musical plays of the Bhagavata-Mela by telling the tale of Krishna from birth until his marriage to Rukmini. Tyagaraja (18th century CE) wrote a similar piece about Krishna... but this should be done elsewhere
Refs need to be consistent - for example is there a space between p. and the page number or not? Or in Satsvarupa dasa Goswami (1998), The Qualities of Sri Krsna, GNPress, pp. 152 pages, ISBN 0911233644 pp. is used for multiple pages but only one page number is given, then it also says "152 pages" - is it the page number for the ref or the total number of pages in the book?

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:31, 6 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for review:

Removed dates.
Image:Krishna with flute.jpg : The image besides the sentence "he usually stands with one leg bent in front of the other and raises a flute to his lips, accompanied by cows" shows him in this state.
Image:Avatars of Vishnu.jpg : shows "The scene on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, notably where he addresses Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita".
Paintings in the article show him blue. "Krishna is often depicted in murtis (images) as black, and is generally shown in paintings with blue skin"
So are references needed for these, please add ^{[citation needed]} tags, if possible. Will add dates for references and work on consistency of ref. --Redtigerxyz (talk) 14:09, 6 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- My thought is that if the statement were something like "this painting shows Krishna with blue skin / playing the flute / advising Arjuna" then it would probably be OK without a ref. As it is though, these are general statements about depictions of Krishna in all art - one example is not a good ref for "usually" or "commonly" etc. I would think this would be relatively easy to reference (any sort of published description of Krishna in art would probably have suitable statements to use as refs). As for fact tags, I will add a few, but just reread the article - if a paragraph ends without a ref, add one. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:01, 6 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Another thing is that refs generally come at the end of the sentence, so ... Jagannatha (literally "Lord of the Universe")[13] in eastern India. should be ... Jagannatha (literally "Lord of the Universe") in eastern India.[13] There are several examples of this, see He may be alone, or with associated figures:[16] his brother Balarama and sister Subhadra, or his main queens Rukmini and Satyabhama. too. I stopped adding fact tags.
- I also note inconsistencies in some spelling and italics - for example is it "Jagannatha" or "Jaganatha" (and watch overlinking). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:09, 6 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]