Wikipedia:Peer review/Leeds United A.F.C. seasons/archive1

Leeds United A.F.C. seasons

Failed FLC. Might nominate again after this.

Thanks,

Buc (talk) 22:49, 15 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Peanut4

Current season. First of all I would lose this sentence It does not however include full details of the current season. in the lead. Then I would lose the current season details. It looks confusing and is unnecessary. It will need updating regularly, which isn't necessarily too difficult, but also readers who aren't au fait with everything football might not realise the season is complete or Leeds have already been knocked out of the FA Cup, etc.
- As noted in the footnotes it doesn't need updating again till the end of the season. Buc (talk) 17:44, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - I'm sorry but to the non-football supporting reader the current season is very misleading. I would simply remove it. Peanut4 (talk) 21:29, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    - I really do not want to remove it even if it can't be a FL. How is it misleading?. Buc (talk) 21:40, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
      - Because a non-football reader may not realise the season isn't over. It needs to be all-inclusive. Now that's my last point on the inclusion/exclusion of the current season. Peanut4 (talk) 00:13, 19 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
        See footnote #16. Buc (talk) 06:45, 19 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I'm unsure what the picture of Billy Bremner adds to the article except for simply putting on an image for necessity's sake, unless you change the caption to say something of Bremner's accolades at Leeds and the seasons he played.
- Was told I need this to make it a FL. Removed. Buc (talk) 17:44, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes, you will need an image for FL. But it really ought to be a relevant image. Maybe that image was relevant but the caption needed to be relevant to the article, i.e. something like Billy Bremner, who won X, Y and Z, during his career at Leeds from 19xx to 19yy. Peanut4 (talk) 21:29, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Certain sentences in the lead probably need referencing
- - See links at the bottem. Buc (talk) 17:46, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    - The references should be inline rather than expect someone to hunt around and find it as per WP:CITE. Peanut4 (talk) 21:29, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Leeds United A.F.C. were founded in October 1919, taking the place vacated by Leeds City Reserves.
- They have played their home games at Elland Road throughout their history.
- All these honours were won under the management of either Don Revie or Howard Wilkinson.
As does the did not enter FA Cup in 1919-1920. Otherwise the FA Cup record is in sources below.
The lead section flits between Leeds as they, it and they.
Same for the club has and the club have.
The footnotes and references section looks horrendous. As The Rambling Man said at the FLC split them back up and maybe directly add references where necessary.
- RM told me to merge them. Buc (talk) 17:44, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - I'm not sure he did if you read his response once you had done. Peanut4 (talk) 00:13, 19 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Footnotes 11, 16 and 17 need full stops.
- - I mean the footnotes need to have a full stop at the end of the sentence. Peanut4 (talk) 21:29, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Footnote 15 ought to be after the points tally not the position since it refers to a reduction of 10 points.
Footnote 17 same as above. But the line really needs removing anyway.
- Why? Buc (talk) 17:44, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - I mean remove the 2007-08 season as above. Peanut4 (talk) 21:29, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Any chance of finding the top scorer and average attendance in 1919-1920?
- No sorry your luck to have anything for that season. Buc (talk) 17:44, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

That's all for now. Peanut4 (talk) 22:15, 17 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

One more thing

only had two prolonged spells. I'd quantify this to something like only had two prolonged spells of more than ten years or whatever is appropriate. It looks vague otherwise. Prolonged to the likes of Everton or Arsenal is entirely different to Swindon or Barnsley. Peanut4 (talk) 15:51, 18 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 01:22, 19 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]