Wikipedia:Peer review/Lift Yourself/archive1

Lift Yourself

I've listed this article for peer review because after it passed as a GA last month, I have expanded the article by over 1,500 bytes and think it would be appropriate to undergo such a review for helping fix any issues that may have arose since then.

Thanks, K. Peake 17:14, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

Aoba47

I am not a Kanye West fan (mostly because of his problematic issues) so I will be approaching this as an unfamiliar reader as I have intentionally avoided his music for a while now. I hope this perspective is helpful, and I hope my comments below are helpful as well:

• This sentence, It was produced by West and features additional production from Mike Dean, while West wrote the song alongside James Massie and Ben Winters., is rather wordy and the repetition of West is less than ideal. I think something like the following, West wrote the song alongside James Massie and Ben Winters, and produced it with additional production from Mike Dean., would be better.
• I think there is a way to combine these two sentences: On April 27, 2018, it premiered through West's website. Three days later, the song was released for digital download and streaming as a standalone single by GOOD Music and Def Jam. Maybe something like: It premiered on April 27, 2018 through West's website, and GOOD Music and Def Jam released it three days later for digital download and streaming as a standalone single. would be better?
• You say the song was released on April 27, 2018, but you use the digital download and streaming releases dates in the infobox.
• When I first read the lead, I did not think the Drake part was notable enough to be mentioned there. It was not until I started reading the article that I saw this was discussed further and connected with larger issues between Drake and Pusha T. If you want to keep the Drake part in the lead, I would make its importance more apparent to the reader because right now, the lead mention seems rather trivial.
• This part, The first piece of new music, sounds awkward to me and I would revise it.
• For this part, it was perceived by numerous fans and publications to be him trolling them., I would remove "numerous" as it is rather vague and unnecessary.
• This sentence, West scats towards the end of the song, rapping nonsensical words., is oddly placed. It does not really go with the second paragraph, and it might be better to move it to the end of the first one.
• Instead of saying mixed to negative reviews, I would either go with something more precise or remove this part altogether if there is not a clear enough consensus and go directly into the specific critiques.
• Link troll in the lead's second paragraph.
• I do not believe the "Track listing" section is necessary if only one version of the song was released without any different track listings, etc. I do not think the "Release history" section is necessary either since it was only released in one time without any other variants.
• Kanye West should be linked the first time you mention him in the body of the article and his full name should be used.
• I would avoid having four citations at the end of a single sentence. You can try bundling the citations if they are all needed.
• I find it odd that the two samples are discussed in two separate sections rather than in one place together. I would think that they should be discussed in the same section at the very least. I do not really see a benefit to scattering them like this.
• For the image in the "Release and reception" section, I have been told in the past to not use images to highlight negative reviews. I think it is important for this article to have an image of West, but I'd alter the caption to not have it being used to spotlight negative reviews.
• I would move the note after the citations.

Again, I hope these comments are helpful. Unfortunately, I do not have the time to do a full review of the article. A majority of my comments are about the lead with some general comments directed at the body of the article. Have a great weekend! Aoba47 (talk) 01:46, 20 December 2020 (UTC)

• Aoba47 Thank you very much for the comments and sorry about the late response; nobody notified me of your peer review. I took on most of the comments but did not implement the changes I felt were incorrect; if you wish, I could go over why for any of them you choose. --K. Peake 19:15, 30 December 2020 (UTC)