Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Fulham F.C. players/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because after extensive work to bring it up to scratch, I think it could be close to being considered for FL. I would appreciate comments for improvement, particularly on prose and referencing.
Thanks, 03md 05:39, 31 January 2011 (UTC)
Brianboulton comments:
- The article title is misleading. Not until the "Players" section is it made clear that this is a list of players with 100 or more appearances. This should be clarified either by altering the title or by extending the hatnote. See, for example, List of Manchester United F.C. players.
- It says "Since playing their first competitive match, more than 800 players have made an appearance in a competitive match, of which 166 have made at least 100 appearances (including subsitute appearances). All players who have reached this milestone are listed below. I will add to the hatnote though.
- Odd rough prose:-
- "...Fulham St Andrew's Church Sunday School F.C., before shortening it to Fulham F.C. in 1888." ungrammatical, try: "Fulham St Andrew's Church Sunday School F.C., shortened to Fulham F.C. in 1888."
- Done.
- "They played their first match as a professional football club..." → "They played their first professional match..."
- Done.
- "The club also competed in the Southern Football League until 1907..." The "also" is unncessary; perhaps "The club competed in the Southern Football League between 18.. and 1907".
- Done.
- "more than ten years in the top flight" - perhaps make that "seasons"
- Done.
- "Since playing their first competitive match, more than 800 players have made an appearance in a competitive match.." Ungrammatical. "Since the club's first competitive match, more than..."
- Done.
- "Fulham's all time record appearance maker..." Very clumsy phrasing. Perhaps "The record number of appearances is held by..."
- Done.
- In the next sentence, "the only player other than Haynes" should be "the only other player".
- Done.
- What information is the link on "test matches" directing me to? I have never heard this term used in connection with Association Football.
- Removed as redundant.
- The default order of the table is debut season, but I reckon most people who consult this list will have a player in mind. I know the MUFC list previously referred to organises in season order, but I think that was a mistake and that a stronger case could be made for alphabetical organisation by players' surnames. I am aware, too, that a click on the symbol in the column heading will produce the alphabetical list, but not all your readers will know this.
- I appreciate your comment but that is the point - when I constructed the list I did it alphabetically but have spent a great deal of time altering the format to chronological. I would prefer to put a note about this rather than change it back. The same thing will apply with the other Fulham and Man United lists that I have worked on (I had no involvement in the main United list). 03md 17:51, 8 February 2011 (UTC)
- There should not be empty cells (except in notes or ref columns) If for example a player's position is not known, write "unknown"
- Done. I realise some of the pre-war positions need to be altered though.
- Tosh Chamberlain? I can't believe that was his real name. If his first name is not known, then at least put the "Tosh" in quotes.
- Done - I found out his real name is Trevor Chamberlain. 03md 17:51, 8 February 2011 (UTC)
Those are my comments. I hope you found them helpful. Brianboulton (talk) 17:36, 7 February 2011 (UTC)