Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Oklahoma Sooners football seasons/archive1

List of Oklahoma Sooners football seasons

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have based this article/list on the current FL List of Alabama Crimson Tide football seasons with the hopes of having it achieve similar status. I have developed this list from scratch within the last week and would like any advice on what needs to be done to improve it. I have tried to make sure it is well sourced and thorough. Any advice would be appreciated. Especially to ensure that I have maintained neutrality.

Thanks.?NMajdan•talk 21:01, 14 September 2009 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: I don't know anything about college football, so please excuse me if some of my suggestions are off-beam. Here goes:-

• Text
  • "as part of" could be simply "in"
    •  Done Done.
  • "Oklahoma has played their home games..." - "has" and "their" do not go together. Either "Oklahoma have" (better still, "The Sooners have...", or alter "their" to "its".
    •  Done Don't understand this change, but changed it regardless to "The Sooners have played their..".
  • Second para, first sentence; something of the same has/have issue. As the sentence begins "The Sooners", then "have is the required verb form. There should also be tense consistency. I am not sure whether "claim" is the best word - "secured" would be more– accurate. So the sentence should read: "The Sooners have secured seven national championships, have recorded 42 total conference championships, have twelve undefeated, untied seasons, and have the longest winning streak..." etc
    •  Done When referring to national championships in college football, "claim" is probably the best word. I restructured the opening and split it into two separate sentences.
  • "The program is the most successful program..." Apart from the awkward repetition, what exactly does "the program" refer to? Is this footballspeak?
    •  Done Clarified: The Oklahoma football program...
  • The formulation .761 is not a percentage, which would be 76.1
    • Sports (in the US) almost uniformely use the format ".999" when referring to percentages.
  • "...first real coach..." - "real" is somewhat vague. First professional coach?
    •  Done
  • What is a 9-1-2 record?
    •  Done Wins-losses-ties. Clarified this in the first instance.
  • "22-year" needs a hyphen
    • I have a non-breaking space. I guess I don't know when to use non-breaking spaces and hyphens.
  • "Also during Owen's tenure, Oklahoma became...." - "Also" is not required at start of sentence.
    •  Done
  • "...three national championships in 1950, 1955 and 1956 including a stretch of 47 straight victories which began in 1953 and ended in 1957." The championships and the 47 straight victories are distinct and separate achievements – one does not "include" the other. "Three" is redundant since you give the years. Therefore: "...national championships in 1950, 1955 and 1956, and a stretch of 47 straight victories which began in 1953 and ended in 1957."
    •  Done
  • "...but they returned to the national title picture following the hiring of Barry Switzer in 1973." As phrased, needs an "only" before "returned". Or you could replace the "but" with an "and".
    •  Done
  • "similar" ? "similarly"
    •  Done
  • Choppy, underpunctuated prose in the last two sentences of third paragraph. Suggest amend to: "Switzer began similarly to Wilkinson, with eight consecutive conference championships and national championships in 1974 and 1975. He added Oklahoma's sixth national championship in 1985."
    •  Done
  • Last paragraph: Untidy beginning which I suggest is rewritten as follows: "After a decline that lasted more than a decade, Oklahoma again won the national championship in 2000, after coach Bob Stoops had been hired the previous year. By then Oklahoma had joined a new conference that combined the Big Eight Conference and four Texas schools of the Southwest Conference."[9]
    •  Done
  • Last sentence needs tweaking. Suggest: "Through the 2008 season, Oklahoma has compiled an overall record of 788 wins, 300 losses, and 53 ties, and has appeared in 42 bowl games, most recently in the 2009 BCS National Championship Game."[13]
    •  Done

• Main Table: Generally neatly done.
  • What is the status of the two polls to the right of the table, which provide what are called "final rankings"? Who are in these rankings? Why are Oklahoma ranked 11th in 2006 and 8th in 2007, with seemingly identical playing records for the two seasons?
    • I think those questions could be answered by visiting the wikilink. They are human polls so it is subjective. If two teams have both lost two games, but one team's losses have been to weaker foes while the other's was to strong foes, then the pollsters would rank the latter team higher.
• Conference championship game results: these could be presented more neatlt in the form of a short table.
  • That would require me to remove to the links from the main table. Is it worth it?
• MOS issues:
  • Non-breaking spaces: See WP:NBSP.
    • I thought I had used these extensively.
  • A punctuation pedant might object to the use of mdashes in the table to indicate blanks
    • No objections were made in the FL candidacy of the list I based mine one. I will address that if it is raised.
  • Page ranges (e.g. 24–31) should use ndashes not hyphens.
    •  Done

That's about it. As I shan't be watching this page (far too many on the list) please call my talkpage if you have queries or if you want me to look again. Brianboulton (talk) 16:31, 28 September 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the tips.↔NMajdan•talk 17:00, 28 September 2009 (UTC)