Wikipedia:Peer review/List of heads of state of Argentina/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I need more views on what should be added, removed or fixed in this list to nominate it as a featured list. Thanks, MBelgrano (talk) 01:09, 17 October 2010 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: This is an interesting list that took a lot of effort to compile. However, it is long way from ready for FLC. For one thing, it badly needs copyediting and proofing to clean up many minor errors. Here are some further suggestions and comments:
- Since this is a list rather than an article, I'd be inclined to merge the essence of the text above each table with the essence of the text of the lead. My impression is that the existing lead plus subsidiary texts is much more text than you need for a list.
- Date ranges take unspaced en dashes rather than hyphens. I ran a script to fix most of these.
- Some tables have en dashes in the blank boxes in the first column, while another table has em dashes in these boxes. You should probably pick one or the other and be consistent throughout.
- Wikipedia articles use telegraphic heads and subheads that generally omit the word "the" from the first position. I would recommend changing "The Argentine Confederation (1827–1854)" to "Argentine Confederation (1827–1854)", for example. Ditto for similar heads.
- In the case of common nouns in the heads and subhead, it would be best to lowercase all but the first word. For example, "Junta Presidents" should be "Junta presidents".
Lead
- I did some minor copyediting of the first four paragraphs, but more needs to be done to bring the remaining paragraphs into compliance with Manual of Style guidelines. For example, terms like "centralist" and "patriotic fraud" should not be set italics but should perhaps appear in quotation marks with a citation to the source. Or possibly they should just be briefly explained. Common nouns like "head of state" should not be capitalized.
- The same kinds of stylistic errors that appear in the lead also appear in the text above the tables and in the text within the tables. These also need copyediting.
- In the rewrite of the lead plus merged material, I'd aim for a total of four well-developed paragraphs.
- "Juan Manuel de Rosas kept a large period as governor until the Battle of Caseros of 1852 paved the way for a new Constitutional Assembly." - I would re-cast this for clarity. Maybe "Juan Manuel de Rosas held office as governor until the Battle of Caseros in 1852 led to formation of a new constitutional assembly."
- Be wary of overlinking. For example, "heads of state" does not need to be linked twice in the lead. If too many words are linked, the links lose value.
References
- Citations to web sites should include author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and date of most recent access if these are known or can be found.
Other
- The dab tool at the top of this review page finds one link that goes to a disambiguation page instead of the intended target.
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 00:41, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the advises. I must point that when I mentioned the featured lists, I did not meant to say that this list may be close to it, but rather that that's my ultimate goal in respect to this list MBelgrano (talk) 02:08, 26 October 2010 (UTC)