Wikipedia:Peer review/Little Boots/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've done quite a bit of work on this in the past year or so, on and off, and think it's already in reasonably good shape for a shot at WP:GAN. All comments would be gratefully received!
Thanks, The Rambling Man (talk) 13:42, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: This looks to be in fairly decent shape for GAN to me. As requested, here are some (mostly minor) suggestions for improvement.
- A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. Madonna (entertainer) is a FA about a woman singer known by a stage name and so seems like it would be a useful model.
- It might just be me, but I found it a little jarring to read the article and find the subject referred to as Hesketh, Boots, and Little Boots. What does the MOS say in such cases? How do articles on her usually refer to her?
- one dab link
- one dead EL
- I expected the bit about her nickname to be in the body of the article and not just the lead - since the lead is a summary, it should not have anything important that is not repeated in the body of the article.
- I would include a year for the formation of Dead Disco in the first paragraph of the lead to put things into context
- Be consistent on little things - is it Leeds University or University of Leeds? (both are used)
- I would try to avoid needless repetition - the Early life and career beginnings section ends with the formation of Dead Disco, and then the next section on Dead Disco repeats much of the same information.
- Also watch WP:OVERLINKing - Dead Disco is linked twice in two consecutive paragraphs (albeit in different sections).
- I would identify who the people pictured in the Dead Disco photograph are - I thought at first the blonde guitarist was Hesketh, but now I do not think so (as she payed keyboards)
- WP:MOSIMAGE says not to have photos so that they draw the reader's eyes out of the page, instead they should point to the center of the page. All 4 images of her performing plus the Dead Disco picture would each do better if the current left justified images were on the right and vice versa
- Can a better link for File:Little Boots Promo Shot.jpg be given in the file source?
- A few places need references:
- Their second release "City Place" was a digital-only release through Playlouder Records.
- On 1 May 2011, she performed at China Music Valley Music Festival in Beijing, during which she performed a new song called "Crescendo".
- The whole second paragraph of the Other pursuits and appearances section has no refs but needs some
- It seems odd that Touring and performances ends in 2010 - it is now 2012 and it seems as if she should have done something in the past 16 months.
- In general there are some things with the article which are very detailed (understandably) now, but will have to be cut back with time. Will every performance mentioned currently still be notable in 10 years time, when over a decade of performances exist, presumably?
- Seems like the article is probably OK for GAN, but comprehensiveness is a FA criteria and there is almost nothing on her personal life as an adult
- There is also not a section or much material on her as an artist / critical reaction to her - the Madonna article has material on her musical style and influences. Again it is understandable now when she has not been well known for very long, but in time I assume more such material will be available to be incorporated into the article.
- Language is OK, though if you want to go for FA I think it would help to have a copyedit. Lots of sentences in a paragraph or section start the same way, or there are places that could be tightened (A limited edition 12-inch vinyl of the album was also released on 10 June, which was limited to 1000 copies. could just be something like A 12-inch vinyl edition of the album, limited to 1000 copies, was released on 10 June.
- I watched the video for Remedy on You Tube - she has a nice voice (not all this AutoTune crap) and it is a catchy song - not that my opinions are notable ;-)
- Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)
Hope this helps. I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:05, 27 April 2012 (UTC)