Wikipedia:Peer review/Mario Kart Wii/archive1

Mario Kart Wii

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I hope to get some creative comments about what to improve on the article. This is my first peer review, and I'm a major contributor to the article.

Thanks, Thornstrom (talk) 08:41, 29 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Refernces 16, 33, and 37 aren't properly cited. Epass (talk) 15:11, 2 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I will assume you want to go for GA. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

A model article is useful for ideas on style, structure, etc. I note that there are numerous FAs at WikiProject Nintendo. Super Mario 64 is FA and may be useful as a model.
- Thanks for the advice.
The lead needs to be expanded to meet the criteria at WP:LEAD. My rule of thumb is that anything in a header should be mentioned in the lead somehow. So Reception and Sales do not seem to be in the lead, for example.
- Added comments about sales and reception.
Since this is part of the Mario Kart series, this should first be mentioned and linked more clearly in the second sentence of the lead, not the second sentence of the second lead paragraph. i.e. It is the sixth installment in the Mario Kart series (not including the two arcade games) and the second to use Nintendo's free online service.
- Fixed.
Perhaps rewrite the current last sentence of the lead to something like Unlike more realistic racing games, Mario Kart Wii features less realistic physics, and the use of various weapons and or items to achieve victory.
- Yes, that sounds better.
In Gameplay this is unclear In Mario Kart Wii, the player(s) can choose any one of up to 24 unique characters to operate their kart, which are separated into three weight classes. Are the characters divided into three weight classes or are the karts? Seems like the characters, but not sure.
- Very true. Fixed.
Last four sentences of first paragraph in Gameplay are unreferenced. I also note that references come after punctuation and are typically at the end of a sentence.
- Added references. Also, all refs are now after punctuation.
I think "150cc" should be "150 cc"
- Not sure about this.
Are there four modes of play or five - do the two Battle Modes count as one mode or two? Also Versus mode is identical to Grand Prix... can't be true - identical means exactly the same, and they are not.
- Fixed.
Second paragraph in Game modes is uncited
- Fixed.
Article could use a copyedit
- Yes, probably :)
References are not formatted properly - for example internet refs should have url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. {{cite web}} is useful here, as are the other cite templates.

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:07, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]