Wikipedia:Peer review/Marvel Cave/archive1

Marvel Cave

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this article contains a lot of information, but the style may not be as great. My goal is to bring this article to GA class, and maybe a Featured article someday.

Thanks, Branson03 (talk) 15:02, 23 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, but I think it has some way to go to reach GA. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

The lead needs to be expanded and summarize the whole article, my rule of thumb is that if it is in a header, it should be in the lead. See WP:LEAD

I've expanded the lead section.

Several sections are very short (one or two sentences) and should be combined or expanded. For example "Spanish Explorers" and "The Baldknobbers" - also avoid starting a header with "The" per WP:MOS
- Spanish Explorers could be combined with the Early explorers section, Baldknobbers could be combined with the Marmaros section.

I combined Spanish Explorers with Early explorers, but not Baldknobbers with Marmaros yet.

Biggest obstacle to GA is lack of references - whole sections and paragraphs are unsourced. See WP:CITE and WP:V

Most of the information is from a book or dvd about the cave, how to I use those as refernces. I can add more references from the web too.

- I would use {{cite book}} for the book, and Template:Cite video for the DVD. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:30, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Are the Baldknobbers active "Around the mid 1800s" or in "1889"?

To keep it short, they tossed people in the cave in the mid 1800s and burned down the town in 1889.

The whole Tours section is uncited, reads like an advertisement, and uses second person (you) when it should use third person. The subsections Lantern Tour Experience under Lantern Tours and Traditional Tour Experience under Traditional Tours seem superfluous.

I removed both tour experience sections.

- OK, I thoughtthat the basic information in them was OK, just the way it was presented needed to be changed to match Wikipedia style. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:30, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Units should be spelled out (feet, not ') and should be given in both English and metric units. The {{convert}} template would help here.

I changed all of the feet symbols with the convert template.

References need to be to reliable sources - see WP:RS Internet refs need url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. {{cite web}} may help.
A model article is useful - I note that Mammoth Cave National Park is a good article and may offer some useful ideas. I also note that Wikipedia:WikiProject Caves exists and may be able to help.

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:28, 26 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]