Wikipedia:Peer review/Moonrise (Warriors)/archive1

Moonrise (Warriors)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

I'm hoping to improve this article, with the possibility of FA status my long-term goal. Therefore, I am looking for all manner of suggestions. I understand that the two main concerns raised over this article's history has been lack of RS and a need for expansion of the reception section. I acknowledge these, but also point out that there seem to be no other editorial reviews of the novel in question that I haven't found yet, and that few sources exist for this topic. Therefore, style-related suggestions are greatly appreciated, and if any sources can be suggested, those would be helpful too.

Thanks, Brambleclawx 14:40, 23 June 2011 (UTC)

Mostly style-related suggestions from Nikkimaria

• "reviewers such as Booklist and Horn Book Review, who" - those publications aren't reviewers (or people - can't use "who" as written), but publish reviews by reviewers
• "The" in "The New York Times" is part of the title and should be italicized
• Can the "series editor" be included in the infobox?
• Media type in infobox excludes the e-book format mentioned in the lead
• "it was hard to write the death of Feathertail at the end of Moonrise because death is a difficult subject" - that doesn't really tell us anything. If she gives more info (as in why it's a difficult subject), then include that; if not, rephrase to something like "noted that the death of Feathertail at the end of Moonrise was particularly difficult to write" and leave out the attempted explanation
• WP:ENGVAR - use consistent spellings. For example, you currently have both "travelling" and "traveling"
• Is Sharptooth killed by crushing or from a pierced throat? If this is not specified in the book, it shouldn't be specified here
• Ellipses shouldn't be in square brackets
• Referencing format needs some cleaning up for consistency. All web citations should include publisher and access date
• Don't repeat cited sources in External links. Nikkimaria (talk) 15:14, 23 June 2011 (UTC)