Wikipedia:Peer review/Muscina sp./archive1

Muscina sp.

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because as this is my first article uploaded to Wikipedia, I feel my article could still be improved tremendously to meet the high-standards of a typical Wiki article. Please don't be shy, any kind of feedback will help.

Thanks, Hieu87 (talk) 17:59, 24 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Sasata

article should be renamed to Muscina

remove period from taxobox caption (sentence fragments don't need ending punctuation)

genus name in infobox should be italicized

avoid repetitive wording in species list by using shorthand M. instead of spelling out the genus name every time; put the species list in alphabetical order

Is there a type species and authority that could also be put in the taxobox?

"The Muscina genus currently consists of 27 species including Muscina stabulans, Muscina dorsilinea, Muscina flukei, Muscina fulvacrura, Muscina levida, Muscina pascuorum, Muscina prolapsa, and many more. This number is subject to change as new discoveries and data are found.[1] Muscina sp. can be found worldwide.[3]" suggest rewording all this to this: "The Muscina genus, consisting of 27 species, has a worldwide distribution." Reason: no need to give a partial list of species, when a complete list in shown in the taxobox. Also. the fact that the number of species will change is the same for any genus of any organism, so it doesn't need to be stated here. Of course, this change makes the lead too short, so you'll have to fatten it up with choice tidbits from the article.

"...and have moderately curved fourth veins with the lather also having a black palpi." what's the significance of a fourth vein? lather->latter?

"These flies average 8mm. in length." There should be a non-breaking space after a measurement before the unit; mm shouldn't have a period after it.

"Circular spiracular plates could be found..." Need to explain what what this is.

Wikilink synanthropy

"...and are rarely found in cities (Neotrop. Ento. 2004).[8]" There's already an in-line cite, so the Harvard-type cit in parentheses should be removed).

Re: "Life Cycle" section header (and others below)- only the first word of section headers should be capitalized (unless there's a name involved).

Muscina isn't consistently italicized throughout the article; Many instances of Muscina could be shortened to M.; in general use the full name in the first occurrence in a new section, then the short form after that.

"Moreover, a study conducted in New Haven, Connecticut using certain species of flies..." The study location isn't relevant and should be removed. Same thing later. Those who really want to know can look at the citation.

"...fly incidence peaked about 4-5 months" use an endash for number ranges (other instances throughout articles need fixing too).

In the Intestinal myiasis section, too mush detail is given on the experimental details (eg. "By attaching a camera to a MOTIC BA 300 digital compound microscope, pictures were taken...) Just summarize the importance results.

"The larvae were confirmed by Dr. M. T. James of the College of the Washington and Drs. C. W. Sabrosky..." Honorific titles like Dr. aren't used in Wiki articles for cases like this.

"...also appeared in samples collected at 200 m altitude and above." use the convert template to conveniently give both metric and imperial units.

Remove the conclusion section completely, and integrate that information into the lead.

Italicize names in external links section.
The article could use a copyedit to tighten up the prose; make the changes suggested above and give me a ping if you'd like me to do that for you. Sasata (talk) 20:32, 24 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Just noticed that this article is part of a class project, so me doing a copyedit might not be fair game... confirm that's it's ok with your professor if a copyedit is desired. Sasata (talk) 02:29, 25 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comment: A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. Chrysiridia rhipheus is an insect WP:FA and may be a useful model article Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:46, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]