Wikipedia:Peer review/National Housing and Planning Advice Unit/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've been working through (albeit slowly) the list of public bodies that are redlinked on the 2010 UK quango reforms page, having created this and this found that the National Housing and Planning Advice Unit is the first article I've really managed to flesh out a lot. I'm looking to continue working through the list, and to help with both my future articles and in respect to improving this one, would really appreciate some feedback on the article in general, quality of prose/writing, and any areas of possible expansion. I'd also be extremely grateful if someone could assess the class of the article (e.g. Start, C, B etc.) as I am not well versed in the criteria. Many thanks, Acather96 (talk) 20:17, 12 June 2012 (UTC)
- I can do this review. --Noleander (talk) 23:52, 27 June 2012 (UTC)
Comments from Noleander
- The article has good citations, so it appears to meet the WP:Verifiability requirements.
- There is a lack of pictures, but there not be any available. Is it possible to find a picture of, say, the chairperson or leader?
- I'd assess this as "B" quality in the quality scale (see Wikipedia:Assessment )
- Overall, the prose is fine, I don't see any huge problems. There are a few small nitpicks, such as:
- ".. by the Government of the United Kingdom in 2006[1] (formally launched in June 2007[2]) with .." - Recommend avoid parenthetical comments like that in the lead.
- Hyphens: the Manual of style requires the use of "n dashes" (–) instead of hyphens (-) for parenthetical phrases, as in: "affordable housing - which provides .."
- ", and also to assist in .." - Remove the word "also" .. it is usually never necessary.
- "had a new, extended remit .." - Many US readers won't know what "remit" means; either define or use a synonym (charter?) responsibility?)
- Clarify: "described former house-building targets as "soviet" " - That sounds like a criticism, but I'm not sure what is being criticized. Did the NHPAU design those "targets"?
- Long sentence: break into two: "Founded in 2006 in response to increasing house prices, lack of affordable housing and as the result of the direct recommendation of Kate Barker’s March 2004 Review of Housing Supply[5], in which it was recommended that a body be created which could offer expert advice on housing matters, particularly that of affordability. "
- Quote marks: use double quotes " not single: " to step down to 'concentrate on other interests' .."
- ... more prose issues exist; let me know if you want more pointers.
- You ask about areas for expansion:
- As someone new to this topic, one thing I'd like to know more about is what circumstances in the UK housing market led to the creation of this Unit. What kind of housing shortages etc. Was there some particular class-related issues? Were there any important documentaries/opinion pieces/polls that showed public viewpoints? or viewpoints of notable commentators?
- It seems to me that a key piece of information that readers might want is the work product of this entity. Can you create a section called "Published works" or "Publications" and in that have a bulletized list of publications that it produced? It looks like you have 1 or 2 already mentioned in the article, but it would be nice to seem them in a centralized list.
- In conclusion: it seems like a decent article, considering that the topic is so narrow & short-lived. Let me know if you want me to address any other areas.
End Noleander comments. --Noleander (talk) 23:52, 27 June 2012 (UTC)