Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/Operation Unokat/archive1

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it to be near FAC.

Thanks, Lankyant (talk) 00:01, 23 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dr Gangrene

[edit]

I approach this as a novice on this topic with little background knowledge. It's a highly informative article in terms of coverage, but here are some suggestions:

  • Lead: "from 5 December 1961 to 21 December 1961"

I believe this should be "from 5 to 21 December 1961"

  • "Following the Republic of the Congo's independence from Belgium in 1960, the country fell into disorder as the army mutinied."

Maybe this should be preceded by a description of how long it was under Belgian rule for context

  • "Many Katangese thought that they were entitled to"

→ "Many Katangese felt entitled to"

  • "It faced great pressure to reintegrate Katanga into the Congo"

Pressure from whom? From Congolese parties or the international community or both?

  • "Smith then requested that all Katangese forces be withdrawn to their barracks and if not Katangese officials..."

→ comma after "if not"

  • "On 7 December Tshombe, having been rejected a visa"

→ "having been denied a visa"

  • "concluded that the Katangese forces were using the roadblocks to cutoff"

→ "cutoff" should be two words

  • "In January 1963 Tshombe surrendered and ended the secession. ONUC withdrew from the Congo in June 1964."

what happened after that? I think it would be great to see one or two sentences to elaborate further

Dr Gangrene (talk) 23:53, 24 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Since this article has been nominated to FAC, I am closing this PR. Z1720 (talk) 00:11, 1 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]