Wikipedia:Peer review/Over the Garden Wall (miniseries)/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that it is suitable or near-suitable for featured article status. It is already at GA status, and I think the only part of it that would be troublesome is the length of the miniseries' episode descriptions, but those are fixable.
Cheers, Matthew - (talk) 02:47, 7 February 2017 (UTC)
The article overall is well done and does a good job of covering the development and scope of the series. I made a few minor text edits directly in the article. Not having seen the series, my comments below are predominantly based on trying to follow the plot for something I haven't seen - I hope they help! I have a page submitted for peer review right now and would appreciate any feedback you might have about it. Good luck with the FA review! --Dnllnd (talk) 22:15, 19 February 2017 (UTC)
- The second sentence in the first paragraph of the Plot sentence is rather long. Readability would be improved by splitting it up, possibly after noting Beatrice is a bluebird.
- "On the other hand, Greg, the younger brother, is all about play and being carefree, much to Wirt's chagrin and the danger to himself and others." This sentence could be rephrased to improve clarity "On the other hand..." doesn't serve any clear purpose - you could get rid of it without losing the essential contrast between the brothers. the part about danger to others doesn't fit with 'much to Writ's chagrin'. Did try rewording it myself in case I'm not accurately assuming intent.
- Last sentence, first paragraph of Final chapters section: Are the train tracks on a hill? Does pushing him off the tracks cause them to fall down a hill into a lake? As someone hasn't seen the series this part is confusing to me.
- "As the scene ends, Greg's frog begins to glow, due to having eaten a magic bell in.." Why does Greg have a frog in the hospital? Is there a way to mention it earlier in the synopsis?
- Pilot synopsis: ".. but they manage to escape while John Crops finds a lover." Again, having not seen any of these this is an odd conclusion to the section. Why do the have to escape? Do they get trapped by the dangerous animals?
- E3 synopsis: How does Wirt joining the class prove a point to Beatrice? Doesn't joining the class confirm he's a push over given that he's been told to do it by someone he doesn't know? Also, in the last sentence, whose finance is discovered? Miss Langtree's?
- E4 synopsis: Whose daughter's soul? The Woodsman's or The Beast's?
- E5 synopsis: Which two embrace each other?