Wikipedia:Peer review/Overdrawn at the Memory Bank/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning on taking this to Good Article but I feel like I am missing something with how to improve the page. So I am sending this over for Peer Review to get some thoughts on what to do. GamerPro64 02:49, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
Comments from Aoba47
[edit]Putting this up as a placeholder. If I do not post further comments by this time next week, then please ping me. I recently watched the MST3K episode on this film, and I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of this article. Here are a few quick comments.
- For this part,
Based on the John Varley short story by the same name
, I would add the year the story was published. This was done in the lead, but I would repeat it here as well. - This part,
Barsanti assessed Overdrawn as being
, uses only Overdrawn, while the rest of the article uses the film's full title. I would be consistent with one method. - For this part,
Corbett also noted difficulties in mocking the film due to the death of Raul Julia, resulting in them barely making riffs on the actors.
, would it be beneficial to include the year Raul Julia died? I am only curious since Julia died only three years before the MST3K episode so that may add an extra explanation for why they had this difficulty.- Added a note to this part. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- I found a review of this film in Cinema Canada (here), and I think it would be useful to include it in the article. Be aware that it is a PDF download and not a webpage.
- Added review. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- I was curious if the film received any scholarly attention, and I did some research on Google Scholar. Most of the attention seems to be on the short story rather than the film, but Rewind, Remix, Rewrite: Digital and Virtual Memory in Cyberpunk Cinema and Postmodernism as Folklore in Contemporary Science Fiction Cinema could have some useful information. I cannot say for certain as they are both behind paywalls, but I just wanted to raise this to your attention.
- Trying to figure out how to get access to these sources. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- You could try putting in a request here. Aoba47 (talk) 05:14, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Trying to figure out how to get access to these sources. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Would it be possible to expand on the Blockbuster Entertainment and Jim Craddock reviews beyond just the amount of stars?
- No. They is nothing they added besides recapping what the movie is. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you for the clarification. I am not really sure these reviews add anything to the article since the star ratings really do not mean much (at least to me) by themselves. Aoba47 (talk) 05:14, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- I removed those sources. GamerPro64 05:27, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you for the clarification. I am not really sure these reviews add anything to the article since the star ratings really do not mean much (at least to me) by themselves. Aoba47 (talk) 05:14, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- No. They is nothing they added besides recapping what the movie is. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- I think the prose for the "Reception" section can be improved. It is likely already good for a GAN, but I think it could still use improvement if you are ever interested in taking this to the FAC level. I know that it can be tough to write a section like this when there seems to be relatively few reviews.
- Not really expecting to take this beyond GAN. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- That is fair. Thank you for letting me know. Aoba47 (talk) 05:14, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Not really expecting to take this beyond GAN. GamerPro64 02:36, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
I hope these early comments are helpful. I will mostly likely come back to this over the weekend. I would actually be interested to see this movie outside of the MST3K episode because it actually seemed quite interesting. Aoba47 (talk) 11:17, 11 November 2020 (UTC)
- In the past, I have often received a note to avoid the following sentence structure (with x noun verb-ing y). This is done in this part from the lead,
with members of the show expressing dislike towards the film
. I personally do not have an issue with this type of sentence structure, but I just wanted to raise this to your attention. - I do not think Rick's Place should be in italics.
- In the plot summary, you refer to Aram Fingal by his last name and Apollonia James by her first name. I would be consistent with one way or the other.
- I would vary the sentence structure of the second paragraph of the "Production and release" section as each of the three sentences is "It..." and I would avoid this type of repetition.
- I would avoid having single word quotes like "quality". It would be better to paraphrase it. It may also be safe to just use the word without the quotation marks.
- I believe punctuation marks should be on the outside of the quotation marks unless you are pulling a full quote. For the most part, it is done this way in the article, but these are instances where it is not done,
a "tongue-in-cheek and imaginative 90-minute delight."
and"certainly inoffensive, occasionally funny and altogether watchable."
. - I would incorporate the negative Malloch review into the rest of the reception paragraph as I am not sure it necessarily works to put it off as a separate paragraph.
- In the lead, you say that the film received positive reviews, but I am not sure that is fully supported by the "Reception" sections as there are several instances of more mixed reviews.
- Is there any more information on the production of the film? I am assuming not since this seems like a more obscure release (at least from understanding), but I just want to double check with you. When I do a Google search, a majority of the coverage seems to be on the MST3K episode instead of the actual film.
This should cover everything in the article. I will turn my attention to your current FAC over the weekend. Let me know if anything needs further clarification and have a great rest of your week. Hopefully other editors will also respond to this peer review. Aoba47 (talk) 05:41, 12 November 2020 (UTC)