Wikipedia:Peer review/Parâkramabâhu I/archive2

Parâkramabâhu I

This article failed a previous FA nomination mainly due to WP:MoS issues, a lot of which were noted in a previous peer review. I went through the article and try to fix as much problems as I could, and would appreciate some input into any further problems in the article or corrections required to the article. Thanks. --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 21:22, 14 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Just thought I'll create a list to keep track of the new articles created to explain a few items mentioned on this page. --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 18:10, 24 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Jayron32

Spelling error in the first paragraph of the lead. "beatification". Do you mean he made the capital city a saint? If not, if you meant he made it more "beautiful" then the word is "beautification". If you mean something else, than try a different word. I would have fixed it myself, but I wasn't sure what you meant...
There are a few referencing issues, such as:
- Nevertheless he retained the entirety of Bhaddavati’s dowry for himself, and entered into secret negotiations with Gajabahu’s general Gokanna. Gajabahu eventually grew suspicious of Parakramabahu’s activities, perhaps alerted to the situation by the prince’s bizarre usage of an elephant in heat to further his spy network, and Parakramabahu yet again departed in secreacy, and returned to Dhakkinadesa. Where does this info come from?
- However some members of Parakramabahu's army disregarded his commands and broken open house doors in Polonnaruwa, plundered goods and stole raiment and ornaments from the people of the city. unreferenced.
- The pillaging of Polonnaruwa was to have dire consequences for Parakramabahu. Angered by the actions of the forces from Dhakkinadesa, the nobles and allies of Gajabahu - including his general Gokanna - appealed to Manabharana of Ruhuna for assistance. Despite having an alliance with Gajabahu, Manabharana remained neutral in the war up till that point. Then, on the eve of Parakramabahu's victory, he stepped into the conflict and launched an invasion of Rajarata. unreferenced.
- Check for other places where it is unclear where certain historical facts are referenced.
Otherwise, this looks pretty good. I am a terrible copyeditor myself. Have you tried WP:LOCE to see if anyone can take a critical look at the text? Good luck! --Jayron32|talk|contribs 04:36, 15 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I'm pretty sure he didn't want to give sainthood to the city :) That's something the spell checker didn't catch.

I cited the material you requested from another book that previously wasn't used in the text. I'll try to cite as much as I can from that (and other books I could find) and also expand the article a little from info included in the book that isn't there in the article. That should help cos at the previous FP nomination a few editors questioned the number of unique sources used in the article.

When I'm done with the citations I'll see if anyone at WP:LOCE will go through the article. Thanks for your suggestions Jayron, they are much appreciated.--snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 21:41, 15 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Wandalstouring

Replace the comparisons with descriptions. Wandalstouring 15:29, 16 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Do you mean for example sentences like

..similar to the settlement reached by King Stephen of England around the same time, in which Henry of Anjou, son of his rival the Empress Matilda, is allowed to ascend to the English throne upon his death.

Like Basil II of Byzantium his ultimate weakness may have been that he was too successful... ?

If so I would tend to agree they are best not included in the text. --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 15:42, 16 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I went ahead and removed the two comparisons I found. Thanks for pointing that out Wandalstouring, and any other suggestions? --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 13:37, 17 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

My issues are solved. Wandalstouring 11:05, 18 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Great, thanks for the input. --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 19:22, 18 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

SandyGeorgia

Hi Snowolf; I gave it a run-through and made changes per WP:DASH, WP:MSH, WP:UNITS, WP:MOSNUM, WP:GTL and WP:CONTEXT. The first occurrence of relevent terms should be linked, common words shouldn't be linked, and links already in the article shouldn't be repeated in See also. You may need to review the introduction in terms of creating stubs for some of the people and places introduced there, if they are notable. Examples include:

Kitti Sri Megha
Sri Vallabha
Dakkinadesa
Ruhuna (there's a link, but it needs to be disambiguated)
Rajarata
Gajabahu II
Dhakkinadesa
Sea of Parakrama

Many editors (like me :-) may not know these terms, people, and places, so they may need links. Redlinks in the lead are a bit unsightly, so you may want to create the stubs.

Continuing on, there are other terms that may need to be linked throughout the body of the article:

King Vijayabahu I etcetera ... It's fine to redlink all of these people and places, but stubs are desirable. There are many undefined terms, people and places throughout the article.

If you examine the kinds of edits I made, I may not have gotten everything, I may have missed some hyphens that should be emdashes, and there may be generally more of the same to do. For example, there were some strange uses of single quote marks, there are still common terms that shouldn't be linked, and attention to wikilinking is still needed. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 20:54, 17 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the very extensive edits Sandy. I'll try to go through the article myself and fix some of the link problems. I'm not exactly sure how the dashes work though. The problem with the red links you mention is there isn't anywhere near as much info about Parakramabahu's predecessors as there is about him, but I'll do my best to create stubs. I'll also try making a few articles about some of his constructions, like Gal Vihare, Ruwanveliseya etc.

Only do them if they're notable and deserve an article; otherwise, ignore me :-) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:50, 19 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, thanks Sandy. I'm going through history books collecting information, and I should be able to create articles for some of the rulers within the next few days. --snowolfD4 ^{( talk / @ )} 18:04, 19 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]