Wikipedia:Peer review/Parliament of the Cook Islands/archive1

Parliament of the Cook Islands

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.

Thanks. There's already a "politics of the Cook islands" infobox, and the final sections have been reordered.--IdiotSavant (talk) 11:58, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am seeking general feedback on it. What's missing? What needs to be expanded? Are there any formatting issues?

Thanks, IdiotSavant (talk) 13:38, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good to me. The subject appears to be well covered. --Lholden (talk) 02:05, 11 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is interesting but lacks the kind of background information that would make the content perfectly clear to an outsider. I have several suggestions for improvement, some of which are related to providing more context for the reader, and some of which are related to the Manual of Style and other guidelines.

MOS:INTRO says in part, "The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article." The existing lead is not a summary. A good rule of thumb is to include at least a mention of the main text sections and not to include anything in the lead that is not developed in the main text.

MOS:IMAGES says in part, "Generally, use the thumbnail option ("thumb")... " The image should be set to "thumb" rather than a fixed width in pixels. Also, the image should be moved down so that it fits entirely into one section.

History

It might be helpful to far-away readers to add the location of the Cook Islands.
Wikilink Rarotonga?
"(3 from Rarotonga, 6 from the outer islands and 1 European)" - "from Europe" rather than "European"?
Why was anybody from Europe in the Parliament? A bit more background might be helpful.
"the Legislative Assembly with 22 members elected and 5 official members" - What's the difference between "elected" and "official"? Were the officials appointed rather than elected? If so, who appointed them?
"A referendum to reduce it to four years... " - Wikilink referendum?

Elections

What are the "discuss" and "edit" buttons doing in the middle of the section?
"Summary of the 26 September 2006 Cook Islands Parliament of the Cook Islands" - Delete one instance of "Cook Islands"?
The embedded link to an external site that appears at the bottom of the election table should be converted to a normal in-line citation.
"The electorate of Akaoa was tied... " - What is Akaoa? It would be good to provide more context for readers who live far away.

Passage of legislation

"receiving the assent of the Queen's Representative" - What queen?
"but individual MPs" - MP should be spelled out as well as abbreviated on first use.
Wikilink reading on first use (rather than second use) and/or explain briefly what is meant by a reading.
Generally, the Manual of Style frowns on extremely short paragraphs or sections. The solution is to expand or to merge.
What is a short title? What is a long title?

References

Many of the references seem incomplete. A good rule of thumb is to provide an author, title, publisher, date of publication and, if the reference is to a web site, an url and an access date. In some cases, not all of these are available, but Citation 12, for example, could easily include the publication date and access date. And the long list of Standing Orders references lacks a publisher, place of publication, date of publication and other information necessary for a fact-checker or someone who would like to find the sources. Are they on-line, perhaps, or in libraries?

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 19:51, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Response: Thanks for the feedback. I've made some changes, particularly to the intro and "elections" sections, and thumbnailed the image. To respond to some specific points:

History

no other legislature page that I've seen provides information for the geographically challenged. That's the domain of general country pages, not of pages on legislaures.
I've clarified the "European representative" as representing the Islands' European residents - a fairly common institution in the legislatures of Pacific stats.

Elections

As with other national legislatures - e.g. New Zealand House of Representatives information on the most recent election is transcluded.
As it says, Akaoa is an electorate. It will be wikilinked when I get around to pillaging the electorate information from fr.wikipedia.org.

Passage of legislation

information on the Monarchy of the Cook Islands is on the relevant pages linked in the sidebar. Unlike other Parliaments, the monarch or their representative is no part of the Cook Islands Parliament, and so they are not mentioned except in their role of assenting to legislation.

References

most references are to the Constitution or Standing orders. Both are linked in the "External Links" section.

--IdiotSavant (talk) 05:20, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Constituencies

I think I have finally understood the historical background of the constituencies.

In 1965 there was 22 seats for 12 constituencies :

-3 constituencies on Rarotonga : Teauotonga + Palmerston (4 seats), Takitumu (3 seats) and Puaikura (2 seats)

-1 constituency for Aitutaki with 3 seats

-1 constituency for Mangaia with 2 seats

-1 constituency for Atiu with 2 seats

-and 6 single-seat constituencies (Mauke, Mitiaro, Pulapuka-Nassau, Manihiki, Rakahanga and Penrhyn)

In 1981 two additional seats were created (overseas and one on Mangaia). All the constituencies became single seat=>Constitution amendment Act n°9

On Rarotonga, Teautonga was splitted into four single-seat constituencies (Tupapa-Maraerenga; Takuvaine-Tutakimoa; Avatiu-Ruatonga-Palmerston; Nikao-Panama), Puaikura into 2 new single-seat constituencies (Ruaau and Murienua); and Takitumu into 3 new single-seat constituencies (Titikaveka; Ngatangiia; Matavera).

Aitutaki was divided into 3 new constituencies (Amuri-Ureia; Arutanga-Reureu-Nikaupara; Vaipae-Tautu) ; Mangaia into 3 (Oneroa; Ivirua; Tamarua) ; Atiu into 2 Teenui-Mapumai; Tengatangi-Areora-Ngatiarua.

No change for Mauke, Mitiaro, Pulapuka-Nassau, Manihiki, Rakahanga and Penrhyn.

Creation of the overseas constituency for Cook Islanders living outside the country from less than three years.

In 1991 Murienua was splitted into 2 (Murienua and Akaoa) =>Constitution amendment Act n°14 .

2003, the overseas constituency was finally abolished => Constitution amendment Act n°26

Nevers (talk) 09:23, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Feel free to edit the article and put that in :) --IdiotSavant (talk) 14:22, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm afraid my english is not good enough for that. That's Ok for quick edits but that's all.Nevers (talk) 15:49, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]