Wikipedia:Peer review/Pelé/archive2

Pelé

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I've listed this article for peer review because I am nominating for good article status soon.

Thanks, JerrySa1 (talk) 18:36, 28 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Spiderone

General

Make sure that all football scores are written using n-dashes. Using '–' rather than '-'

Write single digit numbers as words, so write 'eight goals' instead of '8 goals'.

See WP:NPOV. We should avoid using terms like 'brutal fouling', 'spectacularly saved', 'rolled perfectly into the path of' unless these are direct quotes.

I feel that there are too many pictures, especially in the After football section; it looks overcrowded.

Done, except for that third one. JerrySa1 (talk) 21:45, 9 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Whilst WP:LEAD doesn't prohibit citations in the lead, I personally think that there are too many in this article. If you compare it to some of the best football biographies, such as Thierry Henry, Eduard Streltsov and Steve Bruce, you can see that their leads only contain citations for controversial statements or for direct quotes. The lead should just be a summary of what is already in the main body of the article and so having a citation in the lead and then a citation in the main body is redundant. Personally, I think the only citations that need to be there are the ones for his birthdate and the ones for his nicknames e.g. "The Black Pearl".

Done JerrySa1 (talk) 17:24, 23 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

National team career

We tend to call this international career but I'm not sure if that is essential.

It should be in chronological order so South American Championship should not be at the bottom.

Perhaps a few sentences about other notable international matches outside of World Cups? His stats show that he played in a lot of other lesser tournaments and also some friendlies. I understand that the World Cup is the most important tournament but, in order to be comprehensive, we ought to give a few mentions of other achievements. Also, why did he never play in more than one South American Championship/Copa America?
- There was none I could think of. His only goals in Copa America was in 1959. He got top scorer but that's all that he did there. he made appearances but didn't score. JerrySa1 (talk) 22:42, 19 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done JerrySa1 (talk) 15:54, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception and legacy

Very well written and well referenced!

Personal life

Very well written and well referenced!

After football

Sadly, I don't think this is as good as the two preceding sections. There are too many very small paragraphs and it doesn't read very well. When I read it out loud, it sounds very bitty and doesn't flow well at all. Consider merging some paragraphs and/or deleting some unnecessary trivia.

Remember to keep it in chronological order unless you are paragraphing by topics that are related rather than using chronological order.

Referencing is fairly good though.

Honours, records & statistics

Seems good to me!

Acting and film career

I'm not sure if he has done enough acting for this to warrant a section of its own in the article?

These need to have citations provided for each individual film mentioned.

I would also like to see some prose. I know his acting career is briefly mentioned in some other sections but it would be nice to see a short summarising paragraph if this specific section is to be kept.

I think this should be removed and the info put somewhere else. JerrySa1 (talk) 00:56, 4 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done JerrySa1 (talk) 22:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Cultural references

We shouldn't really use bullet point lists. I also don't think that this warrants its own section. The notable references should be incorporated into either Reception and legacy or After football.

Some statements have no citation to back them up.

Done JerrySa1 (talk) 17:23, 23 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

See Reference checker

Please do address all the 'red' links on that page; replacing them with newer links that work. You could see if you could 'rescue' some broken links by using Web Archive. Doing... JerrySa1 (talk) 21:57, 3 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I don't have access to WebCite so I can't do reference 193. JerrySa1 (talk) 01:59, 16 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done JerrySa1 (talk) 18:29, 17 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Best wishes with the article and I hope that it can become a GA at some point in 2016! And who knows maybe even an FA?

Spiderone 12:11, 3 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]