Wikipedia:Peer review/Planet of the Dead/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm just wanting some pointers on how to improve the prose before I nominate it to FAC. Sceptre (talk) 09:22, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, Sceptre (talk) 09:22, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Seems pretty good to me, here are some nit-picky suggestions for improvement.
- Would it help to wikilink denouement in which serve as lead actor David Tennant's denouement as the Tenth Doctor?
- I think the lead should make it clear that the robbery and bus ride begin in London (on Earth). I have not seen the show and was confused by The episode depicts Christina fleeing the police from a museum robbery by boarding a bus that accidentally travels to the desert planet of San Helios, trapping her, the Doctor, and several passengers on board a damaged bus. initially
- Clarify this - not the first episode of any show ever in HD - "Planet of the Dead" is the first [Dr. Who] episode to be filmed in high definition, ...
- Unneeded phrase consensus among critics
that reviewed the episodewas that it was enjoyable as a whole but that it was only an average script - Not sure what the sandstorm is doing here The Doctor and Christina decide to scout the planet and an approaching sandstorm while Nathan and Barclay try to fix the bus. How do you scout a sandstorm?
- Is the plural form correct? unintentionally awakening a stingray that kills the Tritovores. It is just "Tritovore" elsewhere.
- I would make it clearer it is stingrays that come through the wormhole in Taylor quickly closes the wormhole but not before three of them pass through it.
- I like giving the year of the revival in the lad, why not here too Russell T Davies co-wrote the episode with Gareth Roberts, the first writing partnership for the show since its [2005] revival.[4]
- How about adding "citing the series" or "citing the serial" to clarify Arc of Infinity in he was cautious to ensure that each element had to "feel precise and defined ... like we meant that",
giving[citing the serial] Arc of Infinity as an example - I thought it was another episode title - WP:MOSQUOTE says block quotes are for four or more lines of material or more than a paragraph, but You be careful, because your song is ending, sir. It is returning, it is returning through the dark. And then Doctor... oh, but then... he will knock four times is only one line on my browser / screen
- I also know in the MOS it says refs for a quotation should be at the end of the sentence the quote is in, but there are several places that seem to violate that. WP:CITE
- Are there more reviews from print sources - do newspapers review Dr. Who in the UK?
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:45, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good. Long time no see Dr Who at FAC! (I almost bought some used Dr Who magazines the other day when I was used bookstore shopping... I knew then that FAC was taking up too much of my time...)
- Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 14:29, 5 May 2009 (UTC)