Wikipedia:Peer review/Poulton-le-Fylde/archive1

Poulton-le-Fylde

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm thinking of nominating it for GA. I'm looking for any comments or suggestions either relating to the GA criteria or for improving the article in general, to make it the best I can. I think the structure's ok compared to other similar articles. I'm looking in particular for comments regarding the prose and possible areas for expansion.

Thanks, BelovedFreak 23:40, 3 November 2010 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This interesting article is nearly ready for GAN, I would say. Here are a few suggestions about prose and style as well as a couple of modest ideas for expansion.

• No dead urls in citations.

• No links to disambiguation pages.

• Images look good. Image licenses look fine.

Lead

• The first four sentences are of similar length, and this makes the beginning a bit choppy. I did not notice any choppiness in the rest of the article, but these four bothered me. A small tweak would probably fix this.

Early history

• "There is evidence of human habitation in the area around Poulton from c. 10,000 BC." - It's probably better to use the more familiar "about" than "c."
• "and suggest their foundation in that period" - Would "founding" be slightly more clear? Or "that they were founded"?
• "The affix le-Fylde" - I like the explanation of the name origin, but I wonder if something could be added to explain that the Old English was merged with the French (le-Fylde)? I'm assuming that the name is a mongrel.

19th and 20th centuries

• "it was never granted a Royal Charter and so markets were held under prescription" - Should royal charter be linked and "under prescription" be briefly explained? I think this sentence will otherwise puzzle many foreign readers.

• "conceived by local landowner and Preston MP Sir Peter Hesketh-Fleetwood" - Maybe MP should be spelled out here as well as abbreviated and the sentence altered slightly: "conceived by Sir Peter Hesketh-Fleetwood, a local landowner and Member of Parliament (MP) from Preston"? I'm not sure foreign readers will know what MP means. It might be necessary to break the sentence into two sentences if you make this change. I see that you've linked and abbreviated MP in the "Governance" section, but the link and explanation seem to belong here instead.

Geography

• "It is situated on The Fylde, a peninsula coastal plain approximately 13 square miles (34 km2)." - Missing word, "of" as in "of approximately 13 square miles..."?

Demographics

• "98.9% of residents classified themselves as White... " - This needs to be altered in some way to avoid starting the sentence with digits.

Population change

• "Typically of rural agricultural settlements" - "Typical" rather than "typically?"

Landmarks

• "The market place at the centre of Poulton is the width of two streets and is now pedestrianised." - Is "pedestrianised" a real word? Does this mean that the market place has sidewalks, that no motor traffic is allowed, or something else?

• The first sentence of this section is sourced, but the rest of the paragraph lacks a source or sources. Something like "... many of the buildings surrounding the market place were rebuilt following a fire in the 18th century... " isn't common knowledge, for example.

• "The Thatched House pub existed in 1793 and may have been built in the middle ages." - Cap and link Middle Ages?

Religion

• "0.18% of residents of Wyre were Muslim" - Recast to avoid starting a sentence with digits.

• "9.40% of people in Wyre" - Ditto for this one.

Transport

• The second paragraph needs a source as do the last two sentences of the first paragraph.

Other

• The digit-century combinations (e.g., 19th century) should be held together with no-break codes that prevent them from being separated on computer screens by line-break. I added a few of these codes as I went along, but there are a lot more that need adding. WP:NBSP has details.

• Possibility for expansion: Parks and recreation. Most towns, even small ones, have a public park or parks. Many have playing fields, hiking trails, or biking paths. Anything of that sort in Poulton-le-Fylde?

• Possibility for "Transport" expansion: Mention the nearest airport?

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 23:44, 11 November 2010 (UTC)