Wikipedia:Peer review/Ready to Die/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because it has recently passed as a GA and I would like to know of areas which could be improved.
Thanks, Guerilla In Tha Mist (talk) 20:43, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I just reviewed Nas' album. I have heard of The Notorious B.I.G., but do not know this album. The two album articles seem to me to be similar in their areas that need improvement - here are some suggestions:
- A model article is often useful for ideas to follow on style, refs, structure, etc. There are several album FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Music including Enta da Stage and Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (both debut rap albums too), which may be again useful models.
- Per WP:LEAD the lead should be two or three paragraphs - I think the current first paragraph could be expanded from one sentence and a third paragraph could be added. My rule of thumb is that every header should be mentioned in the lead in some way, even if it is only a word or phrase. For example, Songs, Lyrics and Production do not seem to be in the lead.
- I assume Big Poppa is a nickname for The Notorious B.I.G. - this has to be made clear / explained in the lead It was nominated for Best Rap Solo Performance for "Big Poppa" at the 1996 Grammy Awards. Ditto with Biggie was signed to the Uptown Records label ... see WP:PCR
- Article is better written than my previous review, but still needs a copyedit - for example (this is not a complete list): Upon its release, Ready to Die received strong reviews,[10] and unlike other acclaimed East Coast hip hop albums released at the time (including the Wu-Tang Clan's Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) and Nas' Illmatic), such critical success was matched commercially, with sales driven by strong radio and MTV airplay for the singles "Juicy" and "Big Poppa". sentence is a snake and should probably be split into two sentences, or The album ends with "Suicidal Thoughts," a song where The Notorious B.I.G. contemplates suicide and finally commits it. Since he did not commit suicide, this needs to be made clearer. ALso needs a ref, I think.
- Article needs more references. Every paragraph, every statistic, every direct quote, and every extraordinary claim needs a reference - see WP:CITE and WP:V - for example After a brief period dealing drugs in North Carolina, Biggie returned to the studio the following year on Combs' new Bad Boy Records label possessing "a smoother, more confident vocal tone" and completed the album. (direct quote) or "Big Poppa" was nominated at the 1996 Grammy Awards for Best Rap Solo Performance. The album boasts production from Easy Mo Bee, The Hitmen and DJ Premier. Guests on the album were minimal, with Method Man being the only featured artist. All need a ref and I think the production sentence belongs in Production. This article does a nice job in most cases identifying critics, etc.
- External links in "Accolades" table should be inline references.
- Refs seem decent, although I am not an expert on rap music and its sources.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:24, 19 May 2008 (UTC)